When to send out STD's and actual invites?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
8680 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

10-31 here, we are sending STDs at the end of this month, we do have about 1/2 the guest list who would need to fly, though. If there wasn’t so many flying, I wouldn’t have sent them this early.

I think I’m going to do two rounds of invites.. the first round 3 months in advance for the super OOTers, and the second round of invites 2 months in advance for those who don’t need to fly.

Post # 4
1302 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Send out STD’s as soon as you have the date/venue booked for sure.

Invitations should go out no earlier than 6-8 weeks before the wedding day.

Post # 5
80 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2014 - Aliso Viejo Conference Center

Save the dates should generally go out 6-9 months in advance so right in the time frame…..that being said I had an issue designing mine and they went out in……January for a March wedding. Whoops! 


We are sending out our invitations next week. So it is looking like a 6 week lead time on the wedding invitations. 

Post # 6
6194 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

We had our wedding on a holiday weekend, so we sent our save the dates somewhere between 8 and 10 months in advance. We sent our invitations out with about 9 weeks to go

Post # 7
705 posts
Busy bee

I’m getting married the same day! Congrats. I sent out my save the dates a month or two ago because everyone has to travel that wants to attend. So I wanted people to be able to plan the year out or save whatever needed to be done. May have been early for some but I like to plan my vacations a year out.  I just asked for some advice on the invites though. I’m not sure when I’m going to send out those yet. 

Post # 8
1721 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@BurlapnLace:  We sent our save the dates out about 9 months before the wedding (end of july) since my side of the family/friends will have to travel (and take a day off work for our Friday wedding) and will be sending out of invitations at the end of this month (about 2 1/2 months out) with an RSVP date of the end of March.  This gives us about 2 weeks to get ahold of guests that haven’t RSVP’d before our final headcount is due to the caterer.

Post # 9
8503 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

I think STDs should be sent anytime 6 months or earlier.  Invites I’d send out around 8 weeks (2 months) to 6 weeks in advance.  8 weeks if you have more people that are out of town. 

Post # 10
1154 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

I’m sending my save-the-dates in March for my January wedding, invites will be send 3 months ahead of time since it is a holiday weekend and everyone is from out of town.  🙂 

Post # 11
238 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I am sending out stds this month, which gives a 7 month time between them and wedding.

Invites will be sent 2 months previous with rsvps due 1 month before to leave time to hunt down non rsvpers 🙁

Post # 12
115 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Send your STDs immediately!  Someone told me to do it at 6 months, so I waited – even though I had the date, venue, and guest list at 8 months.  By 6 months the main hotel in the small town we’re getting married was already booked and none of our guests can stay there! :O

Post # 13
1644 posts
Bumble bee

A wise choice is to handwrite personal notes (or send personal individualized emails) ONLY to those close family and very-close friends whose presence is vital to your enjoyment of your wedding-day, letting them know of their plans. That way, if — as so many brides have discovered — budget or venue constraints or a rethinking of your stylistic choices leads you to downscale your wedding celebration, you won’t be offending any guests by failing to follow through on your demand that they Save The Date.

How soon to mail the invitations depends on the speed and reliability of your mail service. Normally you will need at least two week’s notice to finalize catering and seating plans. If your mail deliver is likely to take three weeks each way (since formally-minded folk will respond to a written invitation with a hand-written reply even if you provide them with a phone number and website), then you need to mail them at least eight weeks before the wedding; some people advise at least ten weeks prior.

Post # 14
120 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014 - Serafino Wines

We are getting married in November and should be sending our save the dates within the next week. We only have a few people who will need to fly in but it’s also a Friday wedding. People keep asking us when it is and we are sick of constantly reminding them so we figured this was a good way to stop that 😛

Post # 15
1981 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@webster:  good job being on top of your STDs!! I’m getting married the day after you- hopefully we will get then out next month!! 

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