Post # 1
Ok etiquette Bees, hoping you can help me out.
One of my very best friends from college just got engaged. Her and her FI are having a very intimate ceremony with just their parents and siblings and a MOH on 10/7/12 and then are having 2 separate family celebrations (not really receptions, but I guess you could call them that, although super casual) at their respective hometowns – his in November and hers in June 2013. I will be attending the one in June.
I definitely want to send a card for the October ceremony (when they will be officially getting “married”) but should I send a gift for Oct. or bring the gift (which will be a check/money) to the June celebration?
My inclination is to send a card with congrats and all that for the Oct. ceremony and wait and give them my gift in June when I go to the celebration.
Post # 3
Hmm that’s tricky! I am not an etiquette guru, but I think it’s really sweet that you’re going to send a card in October, that’s really thoughtful. Did they tell everyone about the ceremony in October, or did they keep that info private and mostly just tell their friends and relatives about the celebrations in November and June? If the November ceremony is being kept under wraps then I would wait to send a gift a little before the celebration in June. I’m just thinking that they may not be prepared for gifts in October… We got a couple gifts soon after our engagement party in February, and our wedding isn’t until November, so it was a little awkward because we hadn’t ordered thank you cards yet, and we don’t live together so the gifts are in boxes at my FI’s house. It’s easier to sort out gifts closer to the “big day.” Butttt since it sounds like they are getting married in October, they’ll probably be moving in together than and might appreciate a wedding gift then.
Post # 4
@MsVoyageur: Thanks! I’m not sure if it’s completely public knowledge about October. They have lived together for the past 4 years, so they are not in need of anything house-related.
Post # 5
I’d send the card in October for the wedding and then give a gift for the summer reception. In terms of etiquette, you should always give a gift for a hosted party, so it seems more appropriate to give the gift for the reception.
Post # 6
@VAwife: Ditto this. It’s so nice of you to even think to send a card in October! Most people would completely ignore it and only acknowledge the event that they are invited to.
Congrats to your bestie!