- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
Hey ladies! This is such a fun site!
I just wanted to post a quick question -- when is an appropriate time to upgrade an engagement ring? My DH and I were not able to purchase a very big ring because we are both in college and on a small budget 
My ring is three stone .30 tcw in 14k white gold (size 7.5). It is very 'delicate' 
My DH and I are very sentimental about the ring (in fact, we purchased an upgrade on our 6month wedding anniversary, but decided it was too soon and returned it), but we both know that an upgrade is in store someday. Neither of us want to wait until the big 5 or 10 yr anniversaries, but when is too soon? I am pretty eager to upgrade, but I feel guilty and don't want to pressure my DH, he is so AMAZING and I love and respect him so much and the last thing I want to do is seem ungrateful that he bought me a ring, when in reality there was no budget for one! I would love you ladies opinions
Here are some pictures of the ring -- including one with my wedding band. Feel free to let me know what you think!
I think it's totally up to you! I don't want an upgrade, but that's because I'm a sentimental sap. :P
I don't *plan* on ever upgrading. I love my e-ring and it's just big enough for me but not too ginormous. This is the ring he gave me, picked out for me it will always be my engagement ring and I will always wear it. It will always have that specialness in my heart. =D
I don't NEED an upgrade...I'm not heavily hinting that on our 5 year he should double the size of the stone or anything...but I would absolutly take an upgrade if he gave me one...I'd like it if it included my current stone tho!
I don't think I want an upgrade for a while if at all. I would just say that you should make sure that you can afford to pay for it outright and not finance it!
I think all situations and couples are different and for yall, I see nothing wrong with wanting to upgrade one day. I mean, you admit you love it because it's your ering but budget also played a big role. A lot of couples start small and upgrade and that's perfectly fine. I just hate the ones that are so rude about wanting a bigger ring and demanding it.
I voted that I wouldn't want another but who knows! Really the only thing that would make me get another is that the center stone diamond in my ring is a family heirloom and we plan on giving it to one of our children one day for their ering/wedding ring so I don't know if it will be just the diamond or the ring. I guess we'll see!
Do what you and your hubs feel is right! As far as when, hmm now that's one I don't know how to answer. I guess maybe yall could start saving little by little and when the savings is enough for maybe a down payment or a big chunk towards an upgrade, if not all, then maybe then?? I don't know! Sorry!
If you decide to upgrade, I think any time is a good time, if you both agree. You could always have the stones from this one set in a different ring to wear on your other hand.
It's totally up to you. For us, upgrading the ring is so far down on the priority list that we'll probably never get to it... and thats okay! We'd rather put that money towards other things. But other people have other priorities... just figure out what yours are and go from there :)
Btw: My ring looks a lot like yours, but with channel settings on either side. Needless to say, I believe you have a gorgeous ring just the way it is :)
I don't know if I'll ever want to upgrade mine, I love my ring it is absolutely perfect for me. But I understand wanting to. When my parents got married, they were right out of school and my dad took all the money he had and bought my mom her ring. It was only about .25 tcw. So for their 20th anniversary he bought her a new ring. I think it was a little longer than she wanted to wait, but they started having kids fairly quickly and life caught up with them.
If you want to upgrade in the next few years and can afford to, then go for it.
My husband has hinted around in the past that he'd like to upgrade. My center stone is a near perfect emerald cut diamond just under a carat. I think it's perfect. I would NOT want to change it for the world. When he has mentioned it, I just remind him that I don't want an upgrade, but there's plenty of other jewelry that he should feel free to gift me!
I think the engagement ring should tell a story about where you were in your life at the time your husband proposed, but that's just my view. If it's something you've both decided you want to do, go for it when it feels right for both of you. I know a girl who's younger than me and has upgraded three times.
My fiance has talked about upgrading mine...Like you I have a delicate ring, but mine is a 1/3 carat princess cut solitare. I love it. I have small hands and short fingers so I knew I wouldn't want something huge. Plus there is always the fact that I don't really wear any other jewelry and am not really a jewelry person to begin with.
I think he was thinking of giving me an upgrade when we have a baby. It would be neat to make the diamond on my ring now into a necklace or something we could give our baby (if it is a she, that is...lol)
I love my ring and my wedding set and helped choose them. They're very delicate as well, but that's only because it's the only thing that looks good on my fingers.
I wouldn't want to upgrade because I will always want to wear this one (I'm very sentimental!) and I wouldn't have enough fingers to wear them all!
However, one day I'll be pregnant and my fingers will most likely swell and I won't be able to wear what I have now. I refuse to be ringless! So that day, we'll go pick out a nice ring for me to wear during pregnencies and "bigger" times. Nothing too extravagant, really, but I'll always have a ring on my finger! Plus, I will deserve a ring when I'm pregnant!!
This is a very good question.
My fiance went back to school, and is w/o a job right now, so we didn't get a real ring. We had discussed it, and I told him that I was okay with getting something that wasn't real. Rather than him going into debt over it... there are a lot of rings that are pretty convincing, and no one knows that it isn't real.
So we got a wedding band with real diamonds.. really really on sale. After the wedding I will wear that. Then we will decide if I want to get a real ring to replace the e-ring or if I just want to have fun rings to stack with the wedding band.
I really like the idea of other gemstones too, so I don't know now.
I love my e-ring, and I'll never get rid of it. To me it's the ring that I wore thru-out my engagement, and I'll keep it forever. If only for the sentiment.
Well... I'll try to answer both questions....
1) When should you upgrade? Well... beyond the obvious "whenever you want" because if that was an answer you were looking for you wouldn't have asked ;)... I'd say to wait a bit longer. First, a year or two in does seem kind of fast to change rings... and also are you really THAT able to buy a bigger ring at this point? The longer you wait, the better chance you'll have of getting a ring you'll be thrilled with for a lifetime and that you won't have to upgrade AGAIN! So if I were you I would probably wait to the 5 year mark at least. Your ring is beautiful and maybe you can wear it as a right hand ring after your husband buys you another?
2) Would I upgrade? I don't see a problem with it but my FI is not a fan. He thinks its materialistic (and I guess it kind of is). If we ever had enough money that he wanted to buy me expensive jewelry he'd rather buy me something like earrings than a ring to replace the one I've already got... and I'm totally okay with his viewpoint. I love my ring, it is beautiful and I'm thrilled with it. The only way I would feel comfortable upgrading is if we kept the original stone. Like maybe if he got a bigger center stone for my setting and then we put the original stone in a pendant necklace? That way my stone could eventually be passed down to a child for their ring maybe... I think that would be kind of nice :) But whatevs. I think IF I upgraded ever it wouldn't be until well after the 10 year mark.
Well -- this was unexpected!
I've read a few other posts about upgrading and there was an overwhelming number of women who wanted to or already did upgrade their ring. But it seems to not be as common as I thought!
For clarification, when my DH and I purchased the ring, we knew right off that we would upgrade someday - so, though there is some sentimentality with the ring, I've always known it wasn't a 'forever' ring. BUT I absolutely plan on wearing it as a right hand ring once we upgrade! I don't think I could NOT wear it 
And, although the poll is about whether or not to upgrade, I would love some opinions in the comments on specifically what is an appropriate time to upgrade rather than an answer to the "to upgrade, or not to upgrade" epic question
As for the idea of adding a diamond or upgrading when the first baby comes along... love it!! It would hold a beautiful significance (as much as or more than the proposal!) and I would feel less materialistic 
Thank you all so much for your replies!
I'll be honest...I think it's odd to upgrade so soon. To me "upgrade" means a substancial upgrade. I know that FI and I will not be upgrading my ring until we can UPGRADE my ring, does that make sense? I love jewlery, I love big diamonds----we were able to spend X amount on my current ring and I don't plan to upgrade until we can triple that number. If you're in a situation now, as opposed to whenever you got engaged, to substancially upgrade your ring---then go for it.
I am not planning to upgrade now, I am merely wondering when down the road to do so -- which is looking like about 5 years Or less, if we do it when we have our first baby! I have every intention of doing a full out entirely substancial upgrade, to my 'forever' dream ring! DH has a wonderful job and we will soon be financially set to seek out this elusive dream ring!
I wouldn't upgrade because to me it has specific meaning that is entirely about these eight months before the marriage, about the engagement, so it would make no sense for me to get a different ring to symbolise something that is past. Most people don't share my interpretation of the engagement ring though. :) I'd get new jewelry though and I can well imagine not wearing this ring sometime in the future (but I'll always wear my wedding band).
About when to upgrade - I think whenever you want! Whenever you feel comfortable about it. I don't think it makes any sense to wait till some arbitrary number of years - why would you?
I am not planning on upgrading my ring. What I would like is a baby ring when we have our first child, which I will wear on my right hand. I'm thinking an amazing thick pave eternity ring.
Major anniversary maybe. A friend of mine has a solitaire and is adding side stones for her 5th anniversary though.
I could never upgrade the ring that I have because of the sentimental value, but I won't say no to a right hand ring or a nice pair of earrings :)
For myself, I wouldn't upgrade it (as in replace it with something "nicer" and call that my e-ring).
But I would definitely be in favor of getting more good rings (maybe even diamond rings) in the future -they just wouldn't be my "engagement ring" - because that is the ring he proposed with.
Maybe a nice big three stone, or an eternity band? I can see getting something like that for a 5 or 10 yr anniversary - hopefully it would cost many times what my e ring did - but it doesn't replace it.
Some good friends of our family got married right out of school and they have affectionately called the wives engagement ring "chip" for the past 20+ years. Always joking to their son you know you can propose with "chip" it is a family heirloom! SHe loves the little chip and still wears it even after he upgraded her at 25 years to a whopper 2 ctw. Everytime I see her ring it makes me smile and it reminds the two of them when they first fell in love. I am such a sap! :)
@Arachna, I couldn't have said it better myself. For me, upgrading isn't the right choice. The ring commemorates a moment: when we got engaged, as well as the series of moments between then and the wedding. If we have more money, maybe I would just get some other piece of jewelry, but the purchasing of engagement jewelry is now in my past. My ring is tiny, with a few diamonds that are collectively less than a karat, and that's what I'll wear forever. My wedding ring is already a lot more important to me than my e-ring.
Also, I had never even heard of upgrading til I looked at weddingbee.
There are MANY who have upgraded. I will not be calling my upgrade an "engagement" ring, that would just be silly. It is not a replacement of any sorts. I will always wear my engagement ring. Sorry for any confusion... please don't post negative comments against upgrading -- that is not the intension of this post.
Like I said, many have upgraded... see this link --
http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/update-upgrade-your-ring-who-has-done-it
Nope. I never plan on upgrading my engagement ring- I'm too attached to it. But, we can't afford the matching diamond band I like, so I'm going to get a plain band while we can get him a nicer band right now. The compromise is: 10 year wedding anniversary - I can get the wedding band I've always wanted and can't (currently) afford ;)
We are possibly planning on upgrading the diamond at 5 years. Shane Co has a policy where you can turn in the diamond and get what you paid for it as a credit toward a new diamond! Right now I have a 1 carat but I would prefer something in the 1.25 to 1.5 range.
Thank you alishadhs4! Your comment was refreshing Its good to know I'm not the only one planning on an upgrade!
I don't think I'll ever upgrade mine.
Of course I do get some carat size envy from time to time and I will admit I've wished that my ring was a tad bigger, BUT the ring I have now is my engagement ring. I feel like if he were to give me a replacement upgraded ring in the future, I wouldn't see it as my engagement ring because it wasn't the ring I received when he proposed! So I'm pretty attached, and I'm quite sentimental with my ring.
Although a nice 1 ct. right hand diamond ring would be a nice anniversary ring :)
I may get a bigger stone for Mrs. Bee at some point! Not too much larger - but more in line with what I had wanted to get her when we got engaged. :-)
When I proposed, I was stone cold broke and had to really compromise on the diamond... it's always been in the back of my mind that I'd like to upgrade the rock. But I'll probably wait until we've bought our first house!
I think the appropriate time is probably with a big moment. Doing it just because you can doesn't have the momentum, you know? Then again, simply being able to is kind of a moment, right?
I don't think you need to wait for an anniversary. Simply pick out a big event you would like to commemorate as a moment in your marriage.
Upgrading seems really different for everyone. I have no plans to because my ring is already a bit too blingy (I can't wait to just wear the band, that sounds horrible!). But my parents bought upgrades, first a cuff, then reset it with more stones. They kind of see it as a reflection of their growing commitment to eachother, you know, each day your love grows. In addition, as silly as this sounds, they have made huge strides up the economic ladder since engagement. Like my dad worked at a liquour store part time to buy the engagement ring, now they are legitimately well-off. So I'm sure part of upgrading was to reflect their new status.
Since Fiance and I are students and plan on getting married after we graduate, we don't have a lot of funds especially since we're paying our living expenses rather than racking up more student loans. He purchased a stand-in ring, it's a cubic zirconia...this is the first time I've admitted to other people that (slightly embarrassed, which i know is completely stupid.) It's all he could afford, he plans on upgrading it on our first anniversary to something other than a diamond (I'm not much of a diamond girl).
We are planning on upgrading too bc we got engaged while still in school. We are getting a bigger diamond and we can trade it in for full credit on a new one. For us it is a priority. I am not a material girl but the ring provides much more than just another possession. I'm so happy and proud about my guy I want my ring to shine from across the room! It already isn't the ring he proposed with, because the first ring was NOT the quality he expected and the vendor was a little sheisty, so that might have something to do with the lack of sentimental value in it. My wedding BAND on the other hand I want to be married in it and never upgrade or change that. Kinda just repositioning the value. I know a lot of women get a nicer band in their lives, or even lose and replace it, but I want a plain engraved platinum band that I will have on for 80 years! We aren't upgrading majorly, .5 carat on my .40 carat diamond, but enough to advertise our fidelity and love. I wish I could have "married and proud" on my hand but I'm too traditional!
I agree! I feel like a nice ring draws attention to the fact that I'm PROUD to be the wife of such a wonderful man! He is everything to me, and since the ring is entirely connected to the symbolism of our relationship and commitment, I want a ring that will show that
I think you should upgrade when you want to. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my ring, but I know I would like to upgrade my center stone at some point. However, I only want to upgrade when we can really upgrade.
I want to "upgrade" but only changing the setting. I'll definitely keep the original stone in the setting. My "dream" e-ring is more antique looking. I've really come to love it but I think we're waiting until about 5 year anniversary to change the setting. I'll probably put another type of precious or semiprecious stone in the original e-ring.
i'm with the others... i'm pretty sentimental so i didnt want to upgrade. but FH says that he feels bad about getting me such a small e-ring now that it's one of his goals for the future. We compromised and agreed to get a new setting sometime down the line, that includes the current stone
a friend has the same exact ring. She got engaged while they were students and were nervous to add to debt. Now, he is a radiologist and she is a RN and she was ready to upgrade her ring. She is a sap and so she came up with the PERFECT solution.... she uses her e-ring as the wedding band and bought a beautiful solitaire to wear as the e-ring...now she gets to wear both and it looks great! She took the e-ring with her and the jeweler picked a band that was perfect with it. Her new setting only cost 150.00 (not including her stone) and her e-ring is now her w-band and her other band is on her right hand...she stills wears them all!!!! :)
SOmething to consider!
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| MissBoPeep | 49 |
| pengoala | 44 |
| rachgirl82 | 39 |
| Sunfire | 24 |
| beargoose | 23 |
| Mrs. Meowerson | 22 |
| Beckster329 | 22 |
| couawilou | 20 |
| Future Army Wife | 20 |
| KatNYC2011 | 18 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| Hespurrfect4me | 8 |
| GelaMac | 6 |
| CynLouC | 6 |
| rachgirl82 | 4 |
| Soooomeaty555 | 4 |
| StefLovesJamie | 4 |
| HiroshymaTetrastar | 3 |
| blingbling | 2 |
| VegasSukie | 2 |
| Mrs. Fireworks | 2 |
