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When to write thank you note for guest who didn't give gift?

posted 1 year ago in Etiquette
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    1.
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    Bumble bee
    Mrs. Louboutin    July 2010  

    I have written every thank you note for gifts that we received.  I'm very into making sure my guests receive prompt thank you notes, since I'm grateful that they spent their day celebrating with us and also very grateful that they bought us a gift.

    For guests who came, but did not give a gift, how long do you think I should wait before writing a note thanking them for celebrating with us?  I would like to write it sooner rather than later since I like to give prompt thank yous, but I also don't want to write it so soon that it was before they bought a gift, if they were planning to buy one.

    I was thinking of waiting for 5 weeks, but I'm not sure. 

    Thoughts? 

     

     
    2.
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    Bumble bee
    Selene221    October 31, 2012  

    Send them out asap. They should all go out at the same time. Since a guest has up to a year to send out a gift, they still deserve a prompt thank you note for attending as well and sharing in your day.

    Unless you are on a month long honeymoon and are just now getting started on writing your thank you notes upon your return, 5 weeks is is considered borderline late for mailing them if you have already mailed out others at this point.

     
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    Busy bee
    aspasia475    January 1, 2015  

    There's actually no need to send a thank-you note to guests simply for having attended. (This is modern "made-up wedding etiquette" propably evolved by stationers and photographers to sell those after-wedding photo-card thank-you notes.) In fact, if you entertained your guests to a meal, formal etiquette requires that *they* send a thank-you note to *you* within two days thanking *you* for your hospitality. But don't hold your breath; chances are you won't get more than one or two "bread-and-butter" notes.

     
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    absolutbettie    May 2, 2009   New York, NY

    wow you are super efficient with your thank-yous!  I would hold off for at least 3 months.  When I was young and totally clueless, i have to admit that there were a couple instances where I didn't send a gift until close to 6 months later.  Not that it's an excuse but often the travel and hotel expenses were pretty significant and made the gift a financial afterthought for awhile.  Also, my wedding was spring of 2009 and I was still getting gifts around the holidays!

     
    5.
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    Bee Keeper
    Sulli301    June 26, 2010   Michigan

    I sent all of my thank you notes for guests who did not give gifts at the same time.

     
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    Busy bee
    Encore    May 2011   Maryland

    There really isn't a need to send a thank you note if there wasn't a gift. So I'd say just skip it.

     
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    Honey
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    MissAsB    June 6, 2009   Married in CO, Living in AL

    I agree with @aspasia475: and @Encore:.  I didn't send thank yous to people who didn't give gifts because I thought that giving them free food and drinks after the ceremony was thanks enough.

     

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