- 5 years ago
So confession…. I lurk here all the time. ALL THE TIME. I shed tears for women that have been heartbroken (so so so sorry @givemecouture) and celebrate when bees get engaged. But I don’t post because the one time I vented I felt like I had gotten slapped in the face with some of the responses. I was so raw and I am not good with words, so that maybe that’s what did it.
But I wanted to face my fears because I wanted to share my little ray of hope/encouragement, as so many have shared yours. I have been with my boyfriend for over 2 years. I have been best friends with him since for 6 years, since we were 19. We have known each other (even dated in 8th grade… awww) since middle school. We grew up in the same town going to the same schools and always knew/crushed on each other through different phases. (Sorry if this is a bit long) When we met up freshman year of college after not seeing each other for awhile, I just had this moment. I knew. He knew. The whole room knew, that was it. We both were dating someone at the time so we became the best of friends, too close for many of our others SO’s to be comfortable. I wound up getting serious with another boyfriend, getting engaged, and calling it off within a day because I just knew I loved someone else. We have been together ever since that night, but waited 6 months or so before officially dating.
Fast forward to 6 months ago, about two years after we confessed our feelings. I knew and he knew from day one we wanted to get married and I am a very “NOW” person. if you know, you know right? So after obsessing on the bee and looking at rings I came here venting and crying about how hurt I was that he still hadn’t proposed. Ugh it was so awful. I felt so downgraded, so unworthy, so taken advantage of, like what was wrong with me??? Drove him up the wall and acted like a crazy person… because I wanted to know. I needed that. Heck I thought I deserved it!
My SO is purchasing my ring over the next few months and he has already made 3 payments. I am so elated, so lucky, so incredibly happy, and so very excited for the day he will propose. My waiting changed for me, became something sweeter. I honestly have always dreamed of an XMAS proposal, so even though its not “now” I would be happy to wait. Or whenever he decides, because lets face it, I would be elated no mater how he chooses even 2 years from now. But I no longer feel the rush to the alter. The other day I thought that a great date would be Spring 2016 and surprised myself with my patience. I am just so happy with him and finally feel secure.
If you are waiting, I hope you get this feeling too. I hope the moment comes where you are able to let go again and love the relationship. I hope he gives you what you deserve and you are able to be the woman he feel in love with. You know if its not right, you have that resentful feeling and just think that its not worth it. You badger him and he doesn’t respond with kindness and your relationship is a minefield of pieces of broken hearts, dreams, and expectations. But if this is your man, your future Mr. then you hold on and wait for this feeling. 🙂 Every woman on here deserves to be happy while she waits.
BTW I still have bad days where I get impatient and imagine extravagant proposals, then get moody when I realize they won’t happen. But I am happy at the end of the day, every single day. You ladies all deserve to be happy, every single day.
Hope to see more great threads soon-