Pretty straightforward. When was you SO allowed to be in family pictures? Also, when were you allowed in SO's family pictures?
ETA: I just know my grandma has some really cute family pictures of us from family celebrations (great grandma's bday, family reunions, weddings etc.) we had to stop letting SOs in because my mom brought home a string of guys after my parents' divorce. When we finally allowed a cousin to bring his gf into a pic, they broke up within a month. And I don't think my cousin, who has been dating a girl for almost 4-5 years has been allowed to bring her into our family pictures yet!
He was in family pictures as soon as one happened after we started dating. It was obvious from a couple of months in that we were a long-term prospect.
As for his family... I don't think I've ever been in a family photo with his family but then they've never had one that I've known about (other than our wedding photos).
We've rarely had any "formal" family photos in either of our families. Both of us were always allowed in group pictures at our respective family gatherings since we've been together. The only actual formal pictures that have happened were at my SIL's wedding, which was just 2 months before my DH and I were married, so I was already practically part of the family at that point.
@Cornmuffin09: My FI started appearing in family pictures around our 1 1/2 year mark. We have now been together for 9 years, so he has appeared in many more since. We usually have him in the family picture and sometimes take a few of just siblings or mother/daughter and father/son, etc.
My FI's family does not do family photos (kind of odd now that I think of it) because they are not very close really, so there hasn't been an opportunity for me to be in them. But if they did do a family photo, I think his mother would be fine with me being in it.
I was allowed to be in FI (then boyfriend's) pictures after 5 years of dating. His sister's boyfriend was allowed after 2 months.
@Chrysoberyl: But at least you've been to the future!
@peachacid: What... the hell........ XD
There aren't many formal photos taken (ever) but regular photos...he was in almost as soon as we started dating. We met in October and by Christmas he was in all the photos we took. My family loved him. Lol. His family honestly doesn't take pictures, thank goodness.
Well, the holidays rolled around when we were dating about 5 months. My family doesn't really do family photos. Someone just breaks out their iPhone and starts snapping, lol. He was in photos from last Thanksgiving but there was no discussion if he would be "allowed" to be in photos. His family doesn't do family photos either and I have never been in a photo with them (no pictures were taken at all). But again, there hasn't been a discussion about letting either one be in pics.
I don't think he was ever not in family pictures. My family is the most open-arms family there is. The same way for myself and his family. It's odd, I've never even thought of that practice being abnormal.
I guess we haven't had the opportunity to be in family photos. I mean, we've taken pictures with my parents - some with just me and them, and some with just him and them, and some with all four of us. I don't think I've been around his parents during any picture-taking times. Though I suppose when I visit this Christmas we will see.
My mom did add him as a family member on Facebook this summer though (after a year and a half of dating)! I thought it was really sweet as my parents were very rough on our relationship in the beginning (due to the distance and him being 8 years older), so it really made me feel as though she accepted him when she did that.
We've never really done family photos formally, so if a snapshot is being taken, it's been anytime he was ever hanging around.
But, if we're going to take a picture of a whole group hanging out, we'll often do one with "blood" and then get spouses to jump in, and that's whatever date happens to be there.
We usually did some with girlfriends/boyfriends and some without. I think once a couple is engaged that the person should be included in at least some of them, if they weren't already before.
Right away on both sides. I took him to my brother's wedding about a month after we started dating and he was in a few of the family pics but not all of them.
The first time I was in SOs family picture was last christmas... Just his parents, sister, her husband, and their kids..
Sadly my family doesn't really take "family" pictures, but he has deffinatly been in all of our random family time pictures within the first 6 months of us dating.
MIL included me in the family Christmas photo last year, after we were engaged. She also included BIL's live-in girlfriend.
I put other the SO and I have been dating for seven years now and he was only 'allowed ' to be in family pictures last Christmas. Only because he met them for the first time then. We live in California and. they live in Michigan
He was allowed in family photos right from the start. He always offered to take photos of the family together, so there are some from the same event without him, but even from the first Thanksgiving I brought him home, he was in our family portraits.
SO was allowed in photos immediately. Same with all my brothers' GFs. We usually have a pic of just us kids with the parents, then everybody gets involved. With DH's family I was allowed after 2 years of dating, but in fairness that was the first "event" as such that we went to - it was his niece's christening.
We only did formal photos when I was still a kid.
Informal photos, well basically, if I thought an SO was important enough to invite to Christmas dinner or something, he'd be invited. If there would be photos, and generally there were, he'd end up in some of them. So as a result, there is a small smattering of photos that include my exes in my mom's family albums. It doesn't bug me, or FI, who has seen them all. Those exes were a big part of my life, at the time. And in my past is where they will forever stay. Sort of like those haircuts I thought were so cool at the time, that I'll never willingly get again.
I never even realized this was the case until this question was posed.
I am going to answer for me and my FI's family since my family doesn't really do anything with group pictures. FI is in plenty of their pictures, but nothing formal.
I have shown up in a LOT of important moments. We have been dating for 7 1/2 years and I guess the first time I appeared in important pictures was 5+ years ago when a few of us went to Ireland to surprise his cousin (who lives there). Then 2 or 3 years ago we went to a place in Maryland which offered a group shot before we went inside and ended up buying it. When we all went to Disneyworld, I’m pretty sure there is a picture of all of us as well.
I’ve got to say, I felt SUPER awkward being in those pictures. *I* knew I was in it for the long haul. HE knew I was in it for the long haul. But for his parents and sister? They were incredibly gracious to let me join in the pictures. How upsetting would it be to have these amazing pictures…and THAT girl in them? I’ve got to say, being engaged to him makes me feel a lot more comfortable making appearances in their shots now!
As a fun aside, that picture in Maryland was for an Icehouse. So we're all in SUPER heavy coats provided to us by the facility. Everyone else took their hood off for the picture. But I'm short and was in the front and missed that. So there is his perfect family smiling and me with a pointy blue hood on. Thank goodness I worked out or that'd be the ultimate photobomb!
I was allowed in once we were engaged which I think is fair. I also didn't want to be in family photos until we were married because they weren't my family.
I am really trying to think about it. I don't think we have had family pictures in quite some time. We stopped sending out family christmas cards so....OOOH, my SO and I are going down to DC this Friday with my folks and sister to Spend some post-thanksgiving time with my paternal grandmother, aunt, uncle at my cousin's place. Most likely we will be taking pictures, most likey he will be in them. They all know it is a matter of time anyway. But we haven't had professional pictures taken in quite some time.
We don't do formal pictures. But there were no issues with him being in holiday candid photos and such the first time he did a family thing. I think they knew he'd be sticking around.
At any function we attended together, I always offered to shoot the pictures so that they would have an un-awkward way to get pictures without me but his family always included me and vice versa!
Actually his family took family pictures including me in them the first time I met them. It was to show SO's gran, she was in a nursing home and no-one was sure how long they had with her.
At the wedding was when he was allowed to be in family pictures. He'd never been included before, but neither of us thought anything of it.
I said other. We had a child after only a short whle of being officially together. So after that it would have been awkward to not have him in photos lol but he also knew my family for some time before we were official. We were friends prior to dating in the same larger group of friends (which included cousins of mine and stuff).
It was within 6 months of dating - which is weird because my other boyfriends were never allowed in family pictures, regardless of how long we'd been together. But my mom always wanted FI in the frame. I think we all knew from the start that we were going to end up married.
We don't take a lot of family photos, mostly just candid shots, but my SO was never excluded. Idk, I was just raised that it is rude to exclude people, plus why wouldn't you want everyone in the picture to preserve the memory of the day? It just seems unnecessarily hurtful to actually tell people who can be in your pictures or not... just take a bunch if there is someone you really don't want there so you have a few without them. My SO's family is really weird about it sometimes though and they will exclude me from pictures and events even after 3.5 years because we are not married or engaged, go figure.
I haven't taken any formal family photos with DH as of yet, but when my cousin got married, only then was his wife allowed in the photos. So I voted "not until we're married"
In big group shots, he was invited at the first family holiday functions we had, which just so happened to be nine months after we officially started dating. We've been through the same thing with one of my male cousins who is CONSTANTLY bringing super young girls (literally, barely legal) to our family events and having to deal with "Who is THAT?" when we look back. To fix that, we usually take a LOT of pictures in different arrangements, like saying "Okay, now just the girl grandkids with Grandma!" or "First everyone, then just the cousins" or stuff like that. There's never really been an issue with it on my end, though I'm not sure my male cousin would agree . . . he just broke up with the girl he brought to our family reunion this last summer. LOL.
We don't take family pictures on my side of the family. Now DH's side has taken 1 so far since I have been with and I was allowed in the picture (considering we were using my DSL camera and was taken at the house that DH & I lived in before we were married) We were not even engaged yet at the time.
My family doesn't do formal pictures, but his wasn't until after we were married (it will be our first Christmas this year). To be fair, we weren't engaged a full year (he proposed 5 days after Christmas and we were married in September), so I never experienced a Christmas engaged.
We don't do formal photos, but I know for sure that he was in the photo of my Nana & grandkids when we had been dating for 16 months. His family included me in their backyard picture at the 2 year mark, but I don't know if there were any photos before that, period.
The only formal photos either of our families have had done since we started dating were at my cousin's wedding, when we had been dating close to 3 years & he was included. His family is going to do formal photos at Christmas (4.5+ years) and I'm going to be included. So is his sister's BF of 1.5 years.
ETA: We were in high school when we started dating, so he was for sure in a family photo of mine at 19 & I was in his family one at 18. Perhaps earlier, but I don'te remember if we took any before then.
Pretty much as soon as we started attending each other's family events which was around six months after we started dating
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