Post # 1
Lately I have been struggling because there are a few things I have been working towards and yet cant seem to reach completely.
a few months ago SO and I (both over 30) were looking at rings and talking about the future wedding. I knew he couldn’t buy the ring right away and needed to save up, so over that time I have talked about rings, engagement and weddings less and less. I am trying to be a participant in the shut it up pact. But after a little investigating I know he still hasn’t bought one. I know time flies and it could happen before I know it, but I got so excited about moving to the next step and now I have this icky feeling of limbo.
i have also been working on losing more than 70 lbs over the past few years. I am less than 20 from goal but lately I can’t seem to maintain the drive for it Because despite all efforts the scale won’t budge past a specific weight.
I am also up for a promotion at work but not guaranteed. So far the next steps haven’t been taken by management and so I am starting to resent my current place there.
i think that the frustration of these things are causing me to self-sabotage in some ways. I just want the BF to go for this next step. I want my company to recognize my hard work. I want the scale to reflect the workouts and eating choices I’m making. I feel like a whiny baby but I have just worked so hard to find the right man, to do well at my job, to have a great body, but I cant seem to get past this point with any of them.
advice? Anyone else feel this way?
Post # 3
@Andthepupmakes3: oh girl I feel your pain just read my thread from today! i got the promotion but have 10lbs to lose and a BF to beat up the aisle ( just kidding) I thought it was coming sooner but just found out its not 🙁 ughh
I’m 30 and my SO is 33.
im hitting the gym hard next week and putting all my energy into that if I can’t have a shiny ring ill take a few pounds down! Best of luck with all your 3!
Post # 4
I totally understand how you feel and you are totally not alone! Clearly, I am waiting for my SO to propose as well and we just celebrated 10 years together yesterday. My work life is not really going how I planned right now and after trying for a promotion it seems that I will be passed up. I guess its just that you would like one of these two SIGNIFICANT portions of your life to be in order and it messes with your head when both work life and personal life are stressing you out or are just not turning out how you planned.
Post # 5
- Wedding: March 2014 - A castle!
@Andthepupmakes3: I feel like I need to comment because I know exactly how you feel. The best advice I can give you on the proposal front is try and keep to the shut up pact :/ I know it sounds like cliche advice, but I think it really works. We had the ring in our house for 2 months before he gave it to me, and I cried and threw fits like a little baby everytime someone else got engaged around me. It made me think “what is so wrong with me that he can’t propose?” Please don’t be like me and think that! It became a point of contention in our relationship and drove us both mad. He had a specific time in mind (my birthday!) and didn’t want to ruin the surprise for me. The more I pressured him and talked about it, the more strain it put on our relationship because I’m so stubborn and impatient and he still wanted to do a traditional proposal. It’s really hard to wait and at times it can really, really, really, really suck (was that enough “really”s?)…
As far as the weightloss… the last 20 are always the hardest to lose but will be the most rewarding! You’ve got 50 down so far. That is such an accomplishment. And this goes for you work as well: Do not lose sight of how far you have come and everything you have accomplished. Just because there are milestones on the horizon, don’t forget about the daily accomplishements and everything that has lead up to this point, because you deserve credit! Do not sell yourself short!!
Being patient is *super* hard, on all fronts.. work/home/self improvement… but it will all fall into place and when it does, you’ll think “omg i was soooo silly worrying about all these things.”
Oh and try not to worry! It raises your cortizol levels and causes your body to store fat and not burn it… so as hard as it is try to forget about the proposal and relax and I think the other 20 will fall off!!