Post # 1
Bees, I could do with some advice! I don’t even know if this is a stupid problem or if I’m letting my imagination run away with me again!
My OH and I met online, and at that point he was living 2 hours away from me. Because of various commitments on both our sides, we got to see each other once a fortnight or so, which was fine. Mainly, he’d come to me, just because logistically it worked out better/easier. Because he’s normally here he’s met my family and quite a few of my friends. On the other hand, I haven’t met any of his friends or family. We’ve been together for 18 months now. I’ve told him before that I find it a little strange, and it bothers me that he’s talking marriage, children etc but hasn’t made any effort at all for me to meet anyone in his life. I’ve literally never been introduced to anyone as his girlfriend.
Kind of related is the fact that (and I can’t believe this is bothering me, it’s so stupid), he has a very locked-down Facebook page, that I can’t see. I did a little bit of digging (and I’m not proud of it), and there is one particular female friend of his who seems to have lots of pictures of him. And not just snaps. Of the pictures I can see, half of them are of just her and my OH, cuddled up and playing up to the camera. Am I wrong in being pissed off that this girl that I’ve never met has cutesy cuddly pictures with my boyfriend plastered all over her Facebook page (and we’re talking all over – both her profile pic. and the big picture at the top are of them together).
I have asked him about her before and he said that she’s just a good friend. I have zero problem with him having female friends, but I feel like this is crossing the line somewhat.
Post # 3
There are a lot of red flags there…if you haven’t met any of his friends and family, and haven’t been integrated into his life, I’d be wondering if you’re the main part of it. Come out and ask him if he is on facebook. If he says yes, ask him to add you. If she says no and you’ve seen that he has one, he’s already lying to you and you know that something definitely isn’t right.
Post # 4
Yeah that sounds a little fishy…
Post # 5
It seems extremely, extremely odd to me that he has a Facebook page that has private content on it that you can’t see.
You’ve been together 18 months. Anything that the rest of his Facebook friends can see, you should probably be able to see.
Post # 6
@PoppyRose: this is super weird. why arent you allowed to see his FB? And why does hs ‘friend’ hav a zillion cuddly pics of them all over her fb? Also it has been almost 2 years and you havent met his family? Red flag even if it is long distance.
I would confront him and just ask him why he is keeping you from his real life before you get more invested.
Post # 7
@PoppyRose: uhhh her profile pic? What the what? Unacceptable. Also weird.
Post # 8
@PoppyRose: Fishy. Women have an amazing intuition. If you’re suspicious, there’s likely a reason unfortunately. :(. You need to get to the bottom of it, and fast.
Post # 9
I should clarify, he’s told me in the past that he doesn’t really use FB anymore, and has his page locked down because he’s a teacher and his school pretty much instructed him to shut it down.
Post # 10
@PoppyRose: Super bizarre. Is it possible this other girl is actually also his girlfriend, and you have not met any friends or family because they already know her as his girlfriend?
Post # 11
@rachelmichelle: +1… 18 months and nobody knows who you are, and you’re on his facebook’s restricted list? That’s some of the fishiest business I’ve heard in a long time. OP, you need to talk to him and get him to be honest real quick. A year and a half is WAY too long for this kind of behavior.
Post # 12
@PoppyRose: So basically by locked down you mean that his privacy settings are really high and you get to see just as much as anyone else he is FB friends with?
Post # 13
@PoppyRose: I guess it would make more sense if his Facebook WAS actually shut down/deleted, but this still seems strange. I just feel like something is off.
As a teacher, there are plenty of ways to keep your Facebook private- you can adjust the settings so that you cannot be found in the Facebook search, you can make your profile ‘locked’ to people who are not on your friends list, and you can put acquaintances on your friends list on a ‘restricted’ list so that they cannot see any posts that you don’t want them to see.
How exactly did you find this friend of his who has all the photos of him posted? Is he tagged in these photos and you couldn’t see them before you started digging around?
Post # 14
Something is VERY wrong here. My personal intuition is that he’s married or in a relationship.
Post # 16
@MariContrary: This is what my gut is telling me as well.