Post # 1
I’m realizing that I don’t know that much about what goes on in the week leading up to the big day.
We’re planning on having a Friday evening wedding, and a Thursday evening rehearsal dinner. When should my mom arrive? Does that answer change for MIL?
What kind of stuff do moms typically do pre-wedding? (I’m sure there’s a huge range, so I’m curious what the answer is for you!)
Post # 3
For my brother’s wedding, my mom got her hair done in the morning. She went to the rehearsal dinner and rehearsal and stayed after the wedding to clean up. I would not expect her or my MIL to do much more.
Post # 5
@kerensa: thanks! that sounds about in line with what I was expecting.
Post # 6
@kjthomps: Our wedding is a semi-desitnation (in my hometown, but everyone’s doing hotels bc it’s in the actual city and too far to drive back and forth several times). It’s on a Sat, and our rehearsal (at the church) starts at 3:30pm on Fri. Fri am, the mom’s and BM’s and I are going to get our nails done together. Then I’m taking the BM’s to lunch before we head over to the church. The GM and FI are going to pick up their tuxs while we’re doing those things. So, most everyone is arriving Thursday (after work) and will stay until Sunday.
SN: FI and I are arriving Tuesday am. We live in another city now and need to get our marriage license (which has a 3 day waiting period in PA) so it’s valid in time for the wedding. Also, we need to buy and assemble the welcome bags, etc.
Post # 7
My parents are flying in Thursday night (Satrday wedding). MIL is insistng on coming in like a week before to help. I do not have anything for her to do tho, so ideally it would have been better for her to come Thursday night or Friday morning.
Post # 8
my in-laws lived in the city we were married in, so they were already there. my parents arrived on tuesday before our Saturday wedding. it was nice to have that much time–they came to my last meeting with our venue coordinator on Wed, and helped me with last minute errands on W, Th, and F (picking up my dress, finalizing flowers, making confirmation calls, assembling welcome bags, bathroom baskets, etc). my mom and I also got massages, I think…I don’t remember, lol! I know I got a mani/pedi with my moh but I think I went with my mom separately…we had a lot of family arriving from out of town, and people started arriving around Thursday, so we had some extra family meals.
Post # 9
@OtterHalf: actually, that is EXACTLY why I posted this question in the first place! MIL wants to come here like a week ahead of time, and I feel like she’ll just end up hovering around with nothing to do. I will continue gently pushing for a later arrival. 🙂
(love your name, btw!)
Post # 10
Our rehearsal dinner will be 10-2-14, and the ceremony/reception on 10-3-14. Fi’s parents will be arriving a few days before the rehearsal, and they will be joining us on part of our honeymoon [first stop of our honeymoon is a casino].
Post # 11
thanks to everyone who voted and/or commented!
Post # 12
I said 5 or more days. It was a DW and we flew down with my parents 6 days before the wedding. We were also staying at their house with them.
Post # 13
You guys are lucky! My mother lives in europe and I in Canada. She wants to come here for a month!
I know it would be ok for most people, specially if you only saw your mother every 4-5 years (like me) but my mother and I only get along at a distance.
Last time she came to visit was in 2008 for a month. first two weeks were ok, after I was pulling my hair out and her leavign couldn’t come fast enough. Hence I left home country when i was 18… just couldn’t live with her. I am 32 now and I even have a hard time with having a conversation on the phone go longer then 30 minutes.
She asked to be invited to the wedding and I agree she should come, however she will only come if i pay for her to come (flight etc..)
I told her that hopefully we can afford to get her here for two weeks. She then demanded to come here for a month. She says it makes no sense for her to come here for less then a month (she doesn’t work).
A month before the wedding with all the stress is going to kill me!
Her last visit here put me in debt by 6,000 becasue she chose to come here with two suitcases full of stuff for me (which i didn’t want or asked for) and barely brought any clothing for herself. I had to not only buy clothing but also purchase every little thing that she begged and begged for telling me that she will pay me back which she never did becasue i keep on sending her money becasue she always needs it!
Ahh sorry for the rant 🙁 My weddign planning is going so happy and smoothly… this is the only thing that brings it down 🙁
Post # 14
We had a destination elopement with H’s parents as our legal witnesses. We met up with his parents 2 nights prior to the wedding. So we had one full day with them to hang out. We hiked, took them out for a 40th wedding anniversary dinner and that’s it. No wedding tasks were assigned (or even existed!).
Post # 15
@Lulume: that sounds like a completely rant-worthy situation! I adore my mom, and even still I doubt I could stand her staying with me for more than 2 weeks, so you must be a saint to have gotten through what you’re describing.
possible compromise: tell her you understand that she doesn’t like to make that long of a trip for less than 1 month’s stay, but that you need that month to be from 1 or 2 weeks before the wedding until 2 or 2 weeks after. then maybe you can use your honeymoon to get a little break from her?