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Some of these dress threads make me want to puke. (no offense)
Simply, I don't have the money to walk into a bridal shop. Some of these prices are rediculous. I feel like David's Bridal is the Wal-Mart of dress shops and even those dresses I can't afford! I fell in love with one thats on sale for $650 but theres no way I can spend that, and we're trying to get rid of credit card debt, not add to it.
Am I crazy for scouring eBay, Craigslist, and going to a local bridal consignment store? I can't believe I'm saying this....but a used dress is pretty much all we can afford, especially when you tack on shoes, veil, accessories and alterations.
To the Bees who are buying multiple dresses and *simply* can't make up their minds (:::smirk:::) how are you affording this?!! It's not like I work at McDonald's, I'm an engineer with a nice salary, but who has $2000 to spend on a dress?
Maybe I'm just venting BUT....
Everyone's budget and financial situation is different!
I highly recommend checking the classifieds on bridal sites too lot's of brides try and sell their dresses! You can also talk to you local bridal salons and see if they have any off the rack dresses in your budget.
Good Luck!
Hahaha I'd be inclined to agree with you. My local emporium of all things frilly had a big window display offering a horrible sparkly dress for only 1700 euro, I think it was! And it was yuck!
I actually found a wonderful dressmaker. She reckons she can make my dress for ca 380 euro - maybe $550, or so? 200 for her labour, ca 180 for fabric. It's cheap cos it's a very simple dress - if you're going custom, it's the detail - hand-sewn beading & embroidery etc - thast drives up the cost. So start looking around, see who knows a good dressmaker. Then find as many detailed pictures of what you like as possible - front, back, the lot.
It's still a lot of money when you don't have it, but a lot easier on the wallet.
jim-hjelm-bridal.jpg (18.5 KB, 39 downloads) 1 year old 
It's not strange at all to buy a "used" dress. Tons of women on here have done it; they probably just don't post about it as much. In fact, you may find something you love on Weddingbee's Dress Classified Board.
Could you pay a deposit on a dress, maybe, in one of the smaller shops, then pay it off gradually over the year?
I don't think there's anything wrong with looking in consignment shops, ebay, craigslist, etc. I'd prefer to do that than to add to my credit card debt, its a more responsible move if that's the case. I also don't think there's anything wrong with spending $2,000 if that's what you're comfortable with. Its all just a matter of what people can handle. I was recently in DB and they had some REALLY nice dresses that were around $300, so don't write them off yet. It just might take some more time scouring the racks, but it might just be worth it!
I have a ridiculous dress (its true, I made a beautiful mistake, that's all there is to it). The only way I can afford is the same way I afford anything else: make myself put a little bit away every single pay check. I do everything by automatic payment and deduction so that no matter how I feel that month, I'm paying the bills and putting money away, and THEN I get cash for personal expenses. I don't have a ton of discipline, so its a good system.
On finding a dress, no, there is nothing wrong with your approach. I would just say, what's your rush? You are getting married in over a year. If you could spend $300 today, in 6 months I bet you could save another $300 by making small changes in lifestyle. Cut out going out to dinner once a month, and get three fewer mochas? That's $50 easy.
You don't need to buy a dress today, tomorrow, or even in 2010. And stick to your frugal sensibilities and check these out:
http://www.preownedweddingdresses.com/dresses/best-deals.html
many people save for their weddings for a long time, some have family helping with expenses, or some are like me where i pay as i go along.
I am paying down credit card debt too - but i cut down a lot on other things to put some money towards my wedding so i can have what i want. Is it everythign i want? no. but i am happy with it.
personally one of my reasons for making my engagement a year out - i wanted time to get my finances in order before joining my life with someone else.
people have priorities, and people set goals. if having an expensive dress/wedding whatever isnt a priority to you its your perogative, but for some women who have saved for a long time or dreamed of this and worked hard to be able to afford a dress they love, dont make them feel like poop because they CAN afford it.
you do what you can afford. and if you are *DYING* to have "that dress" that costs too much right now, maybe put off getting married until you are more financially stable?
no one will think less of you for not spending alot of money on a dress - so dont look down on women who can.
I can afford to spend that much be i REFUSE! for 1 dress for a few hours? NO WAY! Check out lightinthebox.com yes they are from china but the dresses are AMAZING! And there is nothing wrong with a used dress! no one needs to know unless you want to rub it in there face on how much you saved :P
I don't think that there is anything wrong with looking on Ebay or Craigslist or consignment shops. I had several friends get their dresses on Craigslist or Ebay. I plan on selling mine after the wedding. I am pretty sure that my girls won't want to wear what I did when they get married.
You will find something perfect and beautiful and who cares where it came from. It will be your dress and that's all that matters.
A previously worn dress will still be new to you. I also could not afford to walk into a bridal store and I was so freaked out that DB was my only solution. Though once I got into DB I found that the dresses were not that bad. Some of the material is cheap, but you can find nice styles there. In the end though I found my dress in a different shop. I think it was the least expensive dress there. Luckily, I really love it. It still cost $580 + alt & fees. If you can't afford that, then definitely look online or in bridal consignment shops. There is no shame in getting a "once-loved" dress. Good luck to you.
I'm getting funny reactions from FI/family/BMs regarding "cheap" or used dresses. It just makes me feel..i dunno...bad. Like everyone feels "sorry" for me.
It doesn't make dress shopping fun AT ALL. I can't browse dress galleries online, I'm not flipping through magazines, and I probably couldn't name one designer if you paid me to. It just sucks.
Maybe try going into normal stores and finding a long white dress, or even an ivory or white prom dress. My friends mom got remarried a few years ago and found a beautiful wedding dress that was actually a prom dress. She bought it on clearance this time of year, as grad is over, and it seriously looked like a wedding dress (which is why no one probably bought it for prom). Nordstroms has some nice wedding dresses that are in the $200 range as well. Good luck!
I wouldn't feel bad at all-I spent $250 on a beautiful dress from ann taylor that had been worn and cleaned once. I love it and I love that I didn't spend more than I was comfortable with. Unfortunately, I'm working hard to wrap my head around the fact that my fiance's new suit is going to cost more. But he needs a new suit.
As everyone said ,you've loads of time, chick. Don't be stressin about it. Maybe make a promise to yourself to not think about it for a month or so. Then see how your finances are going to handle the wedding itself. You do want to have good feelings about the whole dress thing, so maybe step back from it until you are in a more positive mindset.
Great vent - - I am a bride that has a larger dress budget. Everyone’s budgets are different and everyone’s spending priorities are different. However, that does not and did not mean that I didn't look on craigslist, pre owned wedding dresses dot com, or simply Googled the dress I wanted in hopes of finding it for a lower price. DO NOT feel discouraged; getting out of CC debt is very important and that’s great your making that a larger priority than spending x amount of dollars on a wedding dress.
Buying a dress within your current budget no matter how or where you find it exactly what you should do!
have you thought about looking into a floor length (if you even want that) a bridesmaid dress available in white or ivory or whatever color you want, LOL
I spent a large amount on my dress too, but ive been dating/engaged for many years and have created a great savings plan for myself so that I could afford my designer dress. I could have compromised and bought a cheaper dress, had a smaller venue, less guests and gotten married a lot sooner, but that wasn't my priority. My priority was to have my dream wedding so I worked my butt off and spent many years saving for it. It also helps that we are older, have been financially secure for many years, and dont have debt. So everyone is different!
I personally am floored anytime I see someone say they paid more tthan $1000.00 for their dress & no, it's not sticker shock, it's just my frugality.
I could certainly spend upwards of 1k on a wedding gown/dress, but would I? No, I just would not be able to justify it. Like others have said, every situation is different, and every person is different as well. If someone else wants to spend one, two, three even ten thousand dollars on their dress then so be it. I may not agree with the practicality of the decision, but it's not my decision to make; nor is it my debt to worry about.
I think there are lots of great dresses on Ebay & Etsy or other vintage sites out there, and no, you're not crazy for looking in those places, you're being resourceful & budget conscious. I've certainly looked at more 'discount' sites than couture galleries [though I have seen my share], I'm just not ready to make any decisions yet.
I hope you find something that you adore & that won't cost a fortune. I often think to myself that even the cost of the 'low' cost dresses is a bit absurd, I mean really, it's a dress that you wear one time. Yes it's important, but I don't think it justifies the cost.*
*I mean justification of the cost that the designers, manufacturers, WIC consider appropriate.
Hahaha, I guess my gown is a "Walmart" gown, but I love it anyway. My dress budget was $1800, but the dress I picked up at DB was $600 and it looks great on me! Don't get jealous over brides with bigger budgets as it does absolutely nothing to help you out. Just focus on what you can afford and don't worry about other people.
Check out Etsy for some beautiful custom gowns. There are some under $300:
I'd still go in the dress shops to get an idea of what you want. I live in a bit of a smaller town so some of the smaller dress shops would have some really low priced dresses (like in the 100-200 range). I ended up going for a dress at a little bridal shop that was a lot more than I wanted but on here seems on the lower end at about $500. I'm going to sell it so hopefullly I'll recoup some of that cost.
Remember too that you can negotiate with many bridal salons (especially independently owned ones). Try on sample dresses, or “last years make/model” dresses. My dress is a 2008 – would I ever know this had they not told me? Hell no! But they wanted it gone, and I wanted the dress – so I asked “what they could do for me”, and low and behold, the asking price magically dropped 20%.
A lot of good points.
Thanks Bees....I guess I jumped the gun on creating a thread when I should have just chilled out a bit.
It's just frustrating.
My MOH just texted me "I feel sooooo bad that I'll be wearing a brand new dress and you're going to be wearing a used one"
Ugh. Thanks for reminding me.
To Mudratdetector I hear ya ! I would never dream of buying two dresses, one for the ceremony and one for the reception and was in shock to see this actually happens. I was starting to think only the rich could do so??? My dress was $1000 and I am struggling to pay it (I will, but it's not easy) and to me, 2 dresses would be worn what? - a few hours each? I am going to make the most of that $1000. I would wear it on my honeymoon week if I could, haha !
My FI and I are paying for about 70% of the wedding ourselves. Originally, I had purchased a dress online because it was inexpensive and "looked" beautiful. When I recieved it I was completely unhappy. It was so sheer and just not what it looked like in the picture. I was so unhappy with the dress. I ended up going to David's Bridal and finding a gorgeous dress for about $500.00. We don't have tons of money, we have cc debt we just bought a house and my FI actually works UNDER the engineers. I paid for my dress in cash. It was more or less a matter of being happy and prioritizing where our wedding money went.
I'm so much more happy and confident with the dress I purchased. I'm just upset that I lost out on the other dress. My advice would be to prioritize what's most important to you and if it's not a dress than I would use Craig's List or a Consignment but always try before you buy because you could be out even MORE money!
Good luck with the dress hunting!
I could afford any dress I want, but I simply refuse to. I'm adamant about buying something second hand because I can't justify the cost of a dress that could feed a small village! You're definitely not alone!
You will totally find the perfect dress. Who cares if it's new or used. It will be yours! I shop at consignment stores all the time, especially for my girls. They go thru clothes like crazy. If i could find the dress I wanted used, I would totally buy it and never have a second thought about it.
And for what your MOH just texted you, not the best text to receive. Not sure how I would respond.
Don't count out DB - It kind of frustrates me when people talked down about DB because they really do have some beautiful dresses! That's where I got mine and I think it looks better than most of the designer gowns I've seen! Yes - some of the dresses aren't as high of quality - but you also only wear it once! DB also has the $99 sales with decent frequency so if you'r on a budget but still have dreams of a new gown, please don't count it out as a place to look!
That said, there is also nothing wrong with looking at eBay, Craigslist, going to a local bridal consignment store, etc if you're open to the idea of a used gown. Personally I wanted something new that was just mine (and I don't intend to sell it either) and if that meant that I had a "lesser" gown then, so be it! It's all what you are open to and willing to do for your wedding.
But as others have said - you have a ton of time. Work on cutting out a few simple things each month and you could easily save up to the $650 dress if that's truely the one you love!
Another thing, how about walking into a bridal shop, trying on tons of beautiful dresses for the fun of it? Then you can use that experience to figure out what you really like so that you can be more guided in your decision. Maybe going into a shop and doing the whole 'shopping experience' will get everyone off your back (and not to mention be a lot of fun as long as you don't put any pressure on youself to buy!) That's my plan!
Frustration is not jealousy. Some people are very proud that they can afford a Vera Wang because its their dream. I can see your frustration. By doing what you need to do to get out of debt, it cuts back on what you might have been dreaming about. For beautiful and affordable dress, a bridesmaids dress in white are beautiful. seems like Milly's bridal is very popular and they have $300 dresses. Or maybe a an evening dress you can usually get them in the color you desire. Some are just as elaborate at some of the wedding dresses. Look at those. I think sometimes people are very carefree with their money and when you can't be its very depressing sometimes. I think you have the chance to be creative and if it does not bother you try the non-traditional route. Get a colored gown. Don't give up. The dress does not make the marriage.
I worried about what OctoberBee went through...buying a dress online and then being unhappy with it. That lightinthebox.com looks great, but these dresses look sooo different when they're on; I don't think I could buy before trying it on.
Theres a local bridal consignment store, I'm going to check it out tonight.
Why don't you go to the shops, try on the dresses, find ones you like and stalk them online?
When I was trying on dresses I accidentally picked one up that was out of my price range (It was retailing for $840, which I just could not do). Wouldn't you know THAT was the one I fell in love with? I looked around online that night and found the same dress, which had been used as a sample, for $120 on Bonanzle. A local seamstress is doing some light alterations and cleaning/pressing my gown for $175. I feel like I got the steal of a lifetime.
I do feel a littel bit guilty because I really would have liked to support a local business, but I never would have been able to buy that dress anyway. And I am supporting two other independently-owned businesses (the boutique in CA that sold me my dress and the seamstress) so I'm trying to remember that to help me get over it.
Hang in there, try not to be too bummed. No one has to know you bought a secondhand dress, except maybe your FH since he's closest to the situation. I swear to you, if you didn't know my dress wasn't brand new you would never know!
I'm someone who bought a couture wedding gown that will cost just over $8000 after alterations are complete (not including shoes/ veil). I wouldn't have spent this is my parents were not paying for my wedding. My mom wanted me to wear a couture gown and we can afford it. I feel very fortunate, but if they were not paying for the wedding, I would never spend $8,000 on a wedding dress. Both my FI and I have excellent jobs, but we wouldn't throw ourselves the kind of wedding my parents are if we were paying.
I found a dress in David's Bridal that I really liked & it was $300, which was a lot, but it was on sale for $200. Thing is, alterations would cost $200, so it would be a $400 dress. So I changed to getting my dress at Deb's for $100 (pic below) & I loved that dress :). I was actually looking for my bridesmaid dresses at Deb & found it & bought it. There's a lot of prom dresses out there that are fancy enough to be wedding dresses, so you can try looking in the prom section?
& I don't know how people have so much money to spend on weddings, actually I don't get how some guys have the money to buy a $10k engagement ring (I think that's the average price for one). I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that, its just so much money...
www.debshops.com if you're interested :)
Have you looked at non-bridal wedding dresses in addition to pre-loved? Nordstrom, White House/Black Market, Macy's ... even Limited just launched a bridal line. Bmaid dresses come in white too!
I can vouch for the previous poster who menioned prom dresses. The below picture is of my best friend at her wedding. This was a prom dress that cost around $150. No one knew the difference..she looked stunning.
I'm goign to check out a bridal consignment store tonight, and I'll look into the department stores, but I hate wasting the gas driving all around. My mall got flooded with the Rhode Island flood of 2010!
I'm sorry if I worded the DB statement wrong, I just meant that even the cheaper DB dresses are too expensive for me. I loved a $750 dress on sale for $650 but it was a preview piece and not part of their line yet, the woman said it could disappear any day.
I browsed the $99 rack while I was there but nothing caught my eye. It's not easy being frugal while trying to maintain standards.
"I could certainly spend upwards of 1k on a wedding gown/dress, but would I? No, I just would not be able to justify it."
You could apply that statement to almost any part of your wedding. As someone who spent $5K on a dress - paid for myself without going into debt - I think this community could use a little less snark when it comes to what people are willing to pay for ANYTHING. It's a personal decision and you're clearly stating that it's a bad (or at least dumb) decision to spend over x amount.
WOW, $10K is the average price for an E-ring!!!???!!! Sorry, sidetracked from the thread, but WOW! From what I've seen on my peers' fingers in the UK (lots of young professionals) £1500 is closer to the mark! You ladies do WELL!!!
But, back to dresses...I don't think there's any shame in getting a used dress - these days, the trade in current and 1-season old dresses is amazing, and, if you think about it, really good for the environment - think of the carbon footprint of a wedding dress! Tell everyone you're going green :)
I think you should go to a few bridal salons to find out what style you like (I merrily tried on dresses I had no intention of buying), and then when you know, stalk away online!! One of the most stunning brides I ever saw was wearing a £120 high street ivory evening gown. And I've seen a fair few £900 disasters, too. People see you, not a price tag. Money doesn't buy taste.
Try not to feel bad about it - looking at it a different way, you're much better (morally speaking) than all of us profligate brides in our £1K-dress-for-a-day. It's like looking at a big mac when you're on a diet - you can either think "I'm so miserable, I'm not allowed a big mac, I have to eat lettuce" or you can thing "I'm so pleased with my self control, I will not put that into my body, and I'm morally superior to those who do" 
Hey don't feel bad. I'm an engineer, too, and the nice salary doesn't mean i have lots of money to spend on a dress, nor could I comprehend it back when I was dress shopping. Plus, we're notorious for being cheap =] Also, some of these ladies are probably older than you and have been saving longer, so, yes, they CAN afford $2,000 dresses. Some of them probably don't have student loans, live in apartments, work a second job, make good money....i don't see how it seems impossible, personally.
I spent $400 on my dress. I actually found a $99 dress at a store I liked, though.
Now the big question is, what IS your budget and what kind of dress are you looking for? That is something we can help with.
$238 http://www.edressme.com/blush-prom-9045.html
$300 at THE LIMITED! THey sell dresses now! http://www.thelimited.com/detail/romantic-wedding-gown/3254557
You have options. Sorry i went a little crazy on shopstyle.com. they're all pretty =]
don't forget preownedweddingdresses.com.
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