(Closed) When You Hate the Baby Name He Loves

posted 5 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
4804 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think it’s kind of concerning that your first worry is about if thw two of you get a divorce…but I would never use a name my husband hated, and he wouldn’t want to use one I hated. You should both love the name you choose! Neither of us liked eachother’s top choices for names, so we talked and threw more around till we found two that we both love for our baby boy or girl we’ll have in the spring.

Post # 4
Member
579 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@Wonderstruck:  +1

I think it’s really important for both parents to choose the name together.  You may not be able to find a name that you both absolutely love, but you should be able to agree on one that you both like well enough and that suits your family and your daughter.  And then you’ll both grow to love it because it’s the name of your daughter and you picked it out together.

Post # 5
Member
4585 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Ok, fears of divorce aside… I agree that it’s important that you both love, or at least, really like the name. You may need to just start from scratch and compromise. DH and I have had trouble agreeing on girl names because we have pretty different tastes. If it were up to me, I’d probably name a daughter Adeline. DH would choose Henrietta! We just kept throwing names around and found we both really like Caroline. 

Post # 6
Member
4047 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think you should keep looking for a name that you both like.

You can find names similar to his (perhaps with the same meaning as Jess but parst of uour culture? or starting with the same letter) or just use his name as the middle name.

I will say I always find it a bit annoying to have to people in the same household with similar names, like Chris and Kristen, so for that reason I would keep looking.

Post # 7
Member
11227 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I agree with prior posters that one parent should not pressure the other parent to name a child a name to which one of the parents strongly objects.

However, I could completely understand why your primary reason — your not wanting to have to consider your DH’s name when speaking to or about your child following a potential divorce — would be extremely upsetting to your DH if he actually is aware of your concerns. To tell your DH that you do not necesssarily like the thought of using a more feminine version of his name for your daughter is one thing, but to tell him that you fear having to think of him in relation to your daughter following a possible future dissolution of your marriage is entirely another and would likely feel like a rejection of HIM as well as his name.

I agree that it would be best for the two of you to compromise on a name that neither of you would select as your first choice but is one that both of you can like.

Post # 8
Member
1686 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@mslion:  

Yeah, I think I wouldn’t lead the discussion with “If we get a divorce…” ;D

Maybe you can compromise and use his name as her middle/second name, and choose a different name from her other culture/ethnicity that goes well with it for her first name. 

Pick something that will work for both of you, and, more importantly, for your daughter, not just as a child, but as an adult and a professional, and then… let it go. Seriously.

Apparently my name was a point of contention between my parents, and after they got divorced, it seems like my mother never managed to let a month go by without reminding me that my father had named me, and that if she’d had her way I’d have been called something else. Like there was anything productive in that, or anything I could do about it besides feel shitty that my mother hated my name. (To this day, she won’t use my name. She calls me by a nickname of my middle name.)

Post # 9
Member
13102 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I think you should both start over and find a name you BOTH really like for your baby. It may not be either of your first choice names but I think you shouldn’t name a baby a name that one parent hates.

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