"when you know, you know"?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: do you agree?
    absolutely! I knew from day one. : (101 votes)
    45 %
    maybe for some people but not for me. : (38 votes)
    17 %
    no way! it takes time to really get to know each other : (73 votes)
    32 %
    other (explain) : (14 votes)
    6 %
  • Post # 3
    4041 posts
    Honey bee

    @soontobemrsm11: I think it depends when and how people use the phrase. When it used because people may be rushing a relationship….honestly, I feel like they are saying because the relationship is still working out. But what about the people who say it and get divorced? Now, divorce can happen to anyone of course…but it’s easy to “be certain” when it is still going well. 

    ETA: Personally, I knew at a certain point my DH was the right guy for me, but it happened over the course of few years and through experiencing lifes challenges and successes with him. It wasn’t a magical moment of being like, “oh he is the one” though. I came to the conclusion through logical reasoning and reflection on our relationship.

    Post # 5
    4041 posts
    Honey bee

    @soontobemrsm11:  I wish all the best for her and hubby, but I guess only time will tell if her gut insticts were right 🙂

    Post # 7
    7188 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2013

    It was true for me! I think it’s one of those things that’s impossible to understand unless you’ve experienced it.

    Post # 8
    3394 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    @soontobemrsm11:  I just knew. And I used to think that was all BS and you were basically compatible with anyone as long as you could stand to live in the same house. I don’t know if I said that right. I mean, I used to think that I could basically stay with any man as long as he was nice to me and paid the bills. Like I would learn to love him, I guess. But I tried that, epic fail. Then I tried it again. Even more epic fail (actually the second time was more like a volcano erupting).

    Anywho, then I met FI and he hit me like a ton of bricks. I have never had such strong feelings for anyone on this planet as the way I felt about him after our first conversation. It was weird and a little annoying (I hate being out of control), but I just knew and that was that. You know that scene in Twilight when Aro is about to rip Edwards head off and Bella freaks out like she’s going to die if Edwards dies? Sad, corny and cliche (I know), but it’s like that. Exactly like that.

    Post # 9
    1327 posts
    Bumble bee

    (Sorry, this is kinda off-topic, but…) Maybe it’s the Henry Cavill fiasco, but I feel like so many things Kaley Cuoco does is just a media stunt! 😛

    Post # 11
    1125 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2010

    Hmmm with my ex it was totally love at first sight. I was sure I was going to spend my life with him. 6 years and a lot of heartbreak later, I left that relationship. I started dating DH right after. While I knew he was a great man and a keeper, I was really careful about not getting attached too fast and making that kind of statement, because I had been wrong before.

    A few months in, I knew I wanted in for life, but didn’t push the topic with him because he was still taking it slow (he had been burnt in his two previous 3-year relationships and knew I was fresh out of a 6 years one so he was careful with his heart, I don’t blame him).

    I would say that, once we were both ready to discuss our future together, we pretty much agreed we wanted to spend our lives together and got engaged right away, moved in together and started planning our wedding without wasting any time.

    Post # 12
    179 posts
    Blushing bee

    I feel like yes when you know you know. However I chose “other” because my husband was my best guy friend all through highschool and it took me 5 years to admit there was something there. And then after that I immediately knew. 

    Post # 13
    490 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I hate to sound cliche, but I did know. From the moment I saw him I just knew there was something special about him and I was absolutely drawn to his smile.  I never had that kind of draw to someone without knowing them. I turned to my college roomate and told her I am going to fall in love with that guy. I crushed on him for a year and after 3 attempts of hanging out my freshman year, we lived down the hall from each other my sophomore year and we got together within days of being there. The first time he kissed me it was unlike anything else I had ever experienced and I just thought “this is the man I am going to be kissing the rest of my life”. Nearly 10 years later, he still is 🙂

    However, I do believe it doesn’t work that way for everyone. It’s just how it worked out for me.

    Post # 14
    1626 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    I *knew* DH was the one very early on, lol. In fact, when I first saw him, it was one of those stupid Hollywood movie moments where time slowed down and I was all *gasp* “That guy is gorgeous” and all of that. We were at a friend’s Halloween party, and I walked in and a dog came running over to me, so I was busily petting the dog (looking down at him) and when I looked up my (now) DH had just stood up from the couch he had been sitting on, turned around, and our eyes locked. It was literally a stupid movie moment and I knew he was going to be important to me. I didn’t know how, though.

    And here we are, going into our 3rd year. Granted, in the grand scheme of things, that’s not a long time. But I can’t picture my days with anyone else. 🙂

    In terms of short relationships, though, we did move in together after only 2 months. There were extenuating circumstances (my section of the house I was living in being ripped apart for black mold remediation and having to clean/move my things and animals out during the work), but everyone freaked the hell out. It worked, though. 🙂

    And once the work was completed, we had already moved my stuff in, moved my cats in, and paid the cat deposit. It was a shorter commute to work and school, so I was just like “So…can I stay?” And I did.

    Post # 15
    3394 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    @soontobemrsm11:  Epic fail, as in we were talking about divorce 3 years after the wedding. lol. We started out alright, I was totally gonna do this! Yeah! I cleaned the house every day, got up early to make him a bagel and coffee before work. Went to watch him play soccer. We did family day trips and all that crap. And then he didn’t care about me really and as time wore on there was a lot less consideration and nicety, and a lot more true colors being shown. I didn’t completely love him when I married him, but I felt something and I felt sure that I could love him, that I would love him. But then I had to realize that I just didn’t like the person he was and we just didn’t get along. Same thing with the guy after him…we lived together for 8 years, and I tried to be happy with him, but he was an abusive asshole. I had kids with both of them, which I completely regret (I mean, I love my kids, but I’m sorry I had them with such asshole fathers) 

    I thought my feelings would grow and we would magically settle into some kind of nice, quiet, harmonious life together, but it just never happened cause they weren’t my “one”. FI is my “one”. We’ve already settled into our nice, quiet, harmonious life together where we cook together, cuddle up and watch movies together, dance in the kitchen, go out, stay in, doesn’t matter. He listens to my feelings and makes me feel loved every day. It’s like another world.

    Post # 16
    920 posts
    Busy bee

    @soontobemrsm11:  this is essentially the same as another post (it has slightly more backstory)


    I think there is an initial gut feeling of knowing (or thinking you know) but as time goes on that initial feeling can either be further confirmed or can be proven wrong. for the sake of the pole, I voted based on my experience. when I first saw my SO on the first day of highschool, I didnt “know”. I knew I was intrigued, and that it was something special about him, but I wasnt sure what exactly it was. Once we had a few emotional conversations over the next four years, I knew that initial feeling wasnt a mistake. 

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