When you meet the right person, do you just know?

posted 1 week ago in Relationships
Post # 16
Member
7407 posts
Busy Beekeeper

My feelings for DH were hit or miss on the first few dates, but I was always reasonably confident that he was a very nice guy. As I got to know him more, I began to realize our compatibility. Everyone’s relationship is different. 

Post # 17
Member
319 posts
Helper bee

tiffanybruiser :  Ditto. I’ve felt that crazy “this is moving so fast but it just feels right” kind of infatuation, and it burned out. It also led me to overlook some seriously huge red flags (e.g. him telling me once I was already hooked that he had 40k in CC debt… and another 100k in student loan debt… and a porn addiction). I felt that “I just know” feeling with this guy, but unfortunately it was a trick, and it took infidelity before I snapped out of it and I came to my senses and dumped him.

With my SO, I really liked him on our first date, but I wasn’t head over heels immediately. It’s been more gradual. But I also feel like we’re much more compatible and on the same page about everything than anyone I’ve dated before, and I feel more comfortable and loved, and the sex is the best ever. We want the same things and share similar values. He has his life together and we feel like equals. In a way it feels like a more logical attraction, but I also feel more when we kiss than I’ve ever felt kissing anyone else, and when I think about having a life and kids with him there’s nothing scary or uncertain about it.  

Post # 18
Member
234 posts
Helper bee

It definitely happened to me. I was in a relationship going 8 years, I knew this person forwards and backwards and everyone said we’d get married but I still had major doubts. Then one day I met my husband and I just KNEW. A month of getting to know eachother blew all 8 years of my old relationship away. It truly is a remarkable thing and I don’t think everyone gets to experience it. 

Post # 19
Member
184 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2007

Yes, we both knew immediately. 

Post # 20
Member
527 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I sort of do believe in “love at first sight” and I definetly believe that “you JUST know” -reason for this: it happened to me and I just literally can’t explain it any other way! Plus, despite everything (DH & I came from considerably different backgrounds) we never lost our mutual feelings, and somehow, never gave up on our relationship …we are married now, and expecting our first baby in October 🙂

Post # 21
Member
128 posts
Blushing bee

I didn’t have that feeling. However, compared to my last relationship- i feel much more at ease and safe with my FI. I’m not a mess of insecurity anymore and feel more at ease with my life, i also think this is to do with generally growing up though. I don’t know. I don’t believe in love at first sight nor do i believe in soul mates etc.

Post # 22
Member
195 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Yes, I just knew, pretty much after the first date. But I still don’t think there’s any need to rush! We were together two years when we got engaged- 2 years of knowing to be nice and comfortable about getting married 🙂

Post # 23
Member
5453 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

browneyedgirl24 :  

Your story is similar to mine. When my exh and I met, sparks flew.  I’ll never forget the first moment we saw each other, it was instant infatuation.  We both felt as if we’d known each other forever.  The attraction was off the charts.

We were married in a matter of weeks.  I’d be embarrassed to tell you just how few weeks.  The ink wasn’t dry on our marriage certificate and the mask started slipping–irrational anger toward me.  It was a startling 180 from his usual doting and fawning.

Once we got settled into the house, he went from adoring me to essentially ignoring me.  When I brought it up, I was pegged as the unreasonable one.

It all went to hell very quickly.  As is always the case, he started with verbal abuse.  Any attempt on my part to talk about our issues, calmly and softly was me ‘trying to pick a fight’.  The abuse just escalated.  I escaped, bought a little cottage and divorce his sorry ass.  

A few weeks after I filed for divorce, I met my now Dh.  It was *not* about fireworks.  We were intellectually compatible and shared the same political beliefs–crucial for me.

This time, I waited seven years to get married.  Not taking any chances.

Post # 24
Member
7 posts
Newbee

Enjoy the feeling! But also be a bit careful..

This is the way I fell for the very first time. I was only 13 by the time (the age when people think kids don’t know such feelings yet). But only started dating at 17. It lasted until 21. Unlike what you hear about the fading honeymoon-time those feelings never faded for me. But who knows maybe also that half the time we would be in a long distance relationship. It was very passioned. Exciting I would call it. But to be honest it was “too exciting” to be healthy. Let’s just say it really ended bad. And due to such strong emotions (both positive and negative like a roller coster) over such a long period of time I had enough of relationships. Got my walls up. And just enjoyed single life after for over 2 years not planning on settling time – maybe ever again…

Well and then my now fiance came into my life. I only knew the kind of way to fall in love that you described so it made me unsure in the beginning when it wasn’t that “at first sight thing”. But I am glad it was that way and possibly couldn’t even have been like before cause I wasn’t actually ready to open up. Now with my true love it all went down different – the honeymoon feelings did end up though showing but only later in the relationship!

Just enjoy it! But know that you are having intense chemistry and this feelings of “crushing on” is not the same as “real love” but lots of lust spinning with your head. Listen to yourself and with the time see if it doesn’t switch to an up and down passion (intense ups but intense pain is an indicator for something that isn’t worth it in the long run)

However if it’s a good fit it is a good fit! And I hope for you this man is as fabulous as he seems! I wish you the very best as some others here have experienced it <3 

Post # 25
Member
85 posts
Worker bee

20 years ago (age 16) I met FI for the first time and as we looked across the room at each other, I thought I’m going to marry him ‘ but our lives were moving in different directions and over the next 20 years we only seen each other a handful of times but each time there was always that same spark.

I would quite often think of him and he said he often thought about me too but we always seemed to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

well, 2 and a half years ago we finally got our chance to be together, we both waited 20 years for this moment.

We got engaged on Christmas day and it all started with that one look 20 years ago!

Post # 26
Member
4054 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2009

I did.  After our first date, I went to work the next day and told everyone I was going to marry him.  They rolled their eyes and laughed, lol.  10 years later, we are still together.  I don’t think you have to know right away though.  Lots of people take a while to fall in love and know for sure.

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