(Closed) When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with someone…

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
1404 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

@DrMrsCol:  Ohhhhhh darling I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. I completely understand why you’re so upset… I would be too. But hold your horses there Nelly. Before you activate that eHarmony account perhaps a serious sit down with your SO is required. You need to tell him to his face point blank that this is it. The wait is over. The timeline has been exceeded. Your expectations have not been met. He needs to know that he f*cked up big time and is *this* close to losing you forever. If I was you I’d want to know exactly why promises were made and not kept, and why your left hand is still ring-less. I hope the relationship can be salvaged and it may not be too late for that, but burying your head in the sand and joining an online dating site is definitely not the answer. Good luck and please keep us posted.

Post # 4
Hostess
3381 posts
Sugar bee

I am so sorry.  I just want to reach out and give you a big hug.  I don’t have any advice, but I hope everything works out in the end.

Post # 5
Member
1082 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Did you talk to him about what is going on? 

I am sorry, I hope you are ok!

Post # 6
Member
196 posts
Blushing bee

@katlovesjames:  +1.

Obviously he has been thinking about it to some degree, although maybe not as seriously as you have? I would just make it clear what you expect and are looking for.

Post # 7
Member
1063 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

@katlovesjames:  +1

sorry you’re feeling terrible! that would be so disappointing!!!!

i don’t get it, he said 7 months ago you’d get married on a specific date? doesn’t he get that if you’re thinking of getting married in 7 months, it would be immediately the time to be planning that? i know that’s not the point, but i don’t get that strange promise. i agree that he needs to be asked point blank what his deal is. how long have you been together?

 

Post # 8
Member
4430 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@DrMrsCol:  aww (((Big hug))) im so sorry your going thru this.

and i understand where your coming from caz ive been there. if you truly feel it in your heart its time to leave then do it. dont waste your baby having years you cant get them back! trust me…. i wasted my early thirtys with a jerk off finally i gave him his “promise ring” and kicked him to the curb and here i am 4 years later with the man of my dreams happily engaged and getting married thank God.

God is good he has a plan for all of us trust that ; )

blessings, love and light to you and good luck in your choice!

Post # 9
Member
1059 posts
Bumble bee

* Hugs * I hope you figure things out in a way that works for you. I agree with @katlovesjames – you need to talk to him and let him that you need to see some positive action from him, and if not then you’re done. You’re more patient than I am – you have to be rewarded for that somehow!

Post # 10
Member
951 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Maybe he ment that specific date… but in 2013?! I’m so sorry you are going through this. You know how men are.. they’re always at least a year or two behind us ladies when it comes to marriage and commitment. I agree that all you need to do is talk to him! Be honest about your feelings. 

Post # 11
Member
1304 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

You need to talk to him.  Watching a movie as a “hint” is not a reliable form of communication.

 

Post # 12
Member
4525 posts
Honey bee

Yikes. You need to talk to him! Watching a movie in hopes he’ll get the hint isn’t talking to him. Sit him down and explain how you’re feeling. 

Post # 13
Member
3249 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@katlovesjames is right. Sit down with him and tell him exactly how you feel and that he has run out of time, and he will lose you with any more delay. If you truly are about ready to call it quits, ask him why he didn’t propose/hasn’t proposed yet. But be prepared for the truth and its ramifications, which I know is a terrifying and potentially very painful idea.

I’d be worried in your situation that he didn’t respect me enough to hold to his word about the timeline. I am pained to hear that he brought you to the place where you were supposed to get married on the DAY you were supposed to get married, AND DID NOTHING. 🙁 🙁

But maybe there’s something else going on here that you didn’t tell us, which would make his behavior more excusable. Is is possible that he really would have no idea what you were thinking about??? It would be good if you could find that out.

((HUGS)) and be strong. I wish you the best, whatever happens.

Post # 14
Member
1755 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@DrMrsCol:  I’ve skimmed through some of your other posts.  In one from a couple weeks back you said you’ve been together for 7 years and how you’ve been disappointed at birthdays and holidays repeatedly hoping he would ask.

You’ve given him, seven years.  If he isn’t ready by now, he’s never going to be.  Tell him that he has until the end of the year or  you’re ending it, that you’ve given him seven years and there won’t be an 8th.

Normally I’m not one for forcing things, but after so long, I think he’s comfortable with things and sees no reason to change them.  Hopefully he’ll get it together and not want to lose you.  And if he doesn’t, at least you’re not wasting more time.  Better to hurt a little now and find someone who wants children and marriage than to wait until children may no longer be an option.

Post # 15
Member
1466 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

First I send you prayers for peace in the middle of what has been a very stressful time. You are a wonderful person and you cant put your life on hold for a promise. You have a specific time set aside because you want to be married and have children. I understand he said he was ready but if he isnt then there is not much you can do but focus on what you need to do to meet someone who wants to be with you and move to the next level. Time waits for no one. I hope we are all jumping to conclusions and he will surprise you anyday with a ring and a date. 

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