When you see someone running headlong into a mistake….

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
2355 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

You can’t fix stupid.

Post # 4
Member
1373 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

@icanhearyousmile:  Like you said, I have no advice because theres nothing you can do really.

Just wanted to say I get what youre saying. It sucks the big one to watch people dig themselves the deepest holes ever. It’s life sometimes though.

I hope they figure something out.. Sounds dis functional (and kind of like a standard affair, I hate to say it) 

Post # 7
Member
1373 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

@icanhearyousmile:  I suppose that’s true! It’s like it always plays  out it seems

“but she says she’ll leave him”

Theres a good chance that if she hasn’t yet, she’s not going too!

I have this reaaaaally strong aversion to cheating so the thought of this kind of situation makes me go WHAT??!? As well

Post # 9
Member
1373 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

@icanhearyousmile:  that is fast! My bestie met a guy in the summer and now she’s pregnant with his baby. This is after 4 solid years of being a lesbian. Like woah girl. You don’t even know what you want!

Some people are just impulsive I think.. Not my style!

Post # 11
Member
1312 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - NH

You’re a nicer person that I am…I’d anonymously send her a message saying I know all about the affair she’s having and if she doesn’t end it now, her husband will get a PM with proof.  Maybe I’m not a nice person at all, but screw her and her games.  I’d deny knowing a thing about it to the grave as well! 

Post # 13
Member
1344 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

I agree with advice from the PPs. There is not much that you really can say. Even if you did say what you have said here, there is a good chance that your friend wouldn’t listen and it would damage your relationship more. It is so hard to watch a friend making such a mistake. But really all your can do is be there for them. You don’t have to agree with their choices or verbally support their decisions, but just be there for your friend when/if it ends badly. 

Post # 14
Member
1312 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - NH

@icanhearyousmile:  I give you credit because I couldn’t stand by at all lol…I’d either do something or tell him not to mention it because you love him but can’t support the situation he’s in that he knows is just hurting him right now.  Make sure he knows you value his friendship though and that he is worthy of finding a better someone who will appreciate him. 

Post # 15
Member
371 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2000

@icanhearyousmile:  

It sounds like they’re both using one another, to put that spark back into lives that haven’t gone the way they may have planned (yes, marriages can get a little dull at times, yes it sucks when you haven’t really found a vocation). It’s just a shame when finding that ‘bright shiny distraction’ can get a lot of people hurt. 

ETA: I answered this in the same spirit of the OP. Obviously I don’t know more details and will not be affected by any of it, but from what was presented it seems pretty obvious to me that’s what’s happening. Could be wrong!

 

 

Post # 16
Member
774 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013 - Dalhousie Castle

This sounds like a whole mess! You friend is dreaming if he thinks this is going to work out well.

First off, it does really sound like she is using him to get some excitment in her life. I doubt she is seriously considering leaving her husband and she is just trying to justify the affaire to both herself and your friend by what she’s saying. 

You’re friend’s white knight fantasies are pretty far from the reality of the situation. Is he really prepared to break up a marriage and turn the lives of two little kids upsidedown for this woman? Is he seriously prepared to be a step father to these children??? From what you’ve said it doesn’t sound like it. Also, if she’s a house wife then she might not have any income of her own would need to be supported financially. It doesn’t sound like he’s in any position to do that! 

As frustrating as it I think all you can do now is wait for it all to blow up and be ready to help pick up the pieces later. Now you’ve talked to him, he might start see the situation as it really is, but it sounds like he’s in denile pretty badly. Oh well, hopefully he’ll learn from his mistake in the end. 🙁 

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