When you were single, what phrases did you hate to hear?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

I hated hearing all of it!

But they were always reassuring.

Post # 4
Member
7265 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

“You’re still single?”

“You have to put yourself out there!”

“It will happen when you’re least expecting it/not looking for it.” (Turned out to be true)

 

The two things I actually liked hearing were “It’s always going to be wrong until it’s right.” and “Just look at it as now you’re one person closer to meeting the right one for you.” You can’t meet the right guy if you’re with the wrong one 🙂

Post # 5
Member
6273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

@Cory_loves_this_girl:  

“You have to put yourself out there!”

“It will happen when you’re least expecting it/not looking for it.” (Turned out to be true)

 THIS. How in the world can you put yourself out there and not be expecting it?!
 
 

Post # 6
Member
3442 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@LadyBlackheart:  “But you’re so young! It’ll happen eventually!”

Umm, yes, thanks for that. lol

Now I’m pretty sure I annoy people in the same way but my classic phrase is “The fact that you are single says a lot about your character in a positive way. It says that you are intelligent and persistent enough not to settle for somebody who doesn’t deserve you, and that when the right one comes along, you will immediately know.”

Yeah, lame, but true.

Post # 7
Member
152 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

“Why would you want to be in a relationship? All they do is slow you down.”

“Your future is much brighter without a man in the picture.” 

I hated “You will find the right guy once you stop looking”  

Mostly I hated them all as well and they usually made me angry and I would smart off even though I knew people were just trying to be comforting. 

 

I will say the best thing I was told though was “I don’t know the right thing to say, or exactly what you want to hear, but I will say that I am here for you no matter what. Even if I have nothing to say I will listen.”

Post # 9
Member
1312 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - NH

I honestly did not want to look for a while.  I was told that “you shouldn’t be scared of dating, you’re not getting any younger”.  I wasn’t scared, I was a FT student, worked 2 PT jobs and focused on that.  It made me want to punch people lol

 

Post # 10
Member
3637 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

All of the “it will happen when you aren’t looking”, “you WILL find the right guy” etc etc is sad BECAUSE IT’S TRUE!

That’s WHY people in relationships say it. Now, perhaps not everyone found someone when they weren’t looking (certainly online dating goes against this) but it is true for a lot of people. 

I know that I got angry as a singleton when people said it, but now I say the same things. I preface all of these things though by saying “I used to hate hearing these, but the fact is that they are true and that’s why people say them, so, here goes: …..”

Also tell her that you know being alone is tough, that sometimes you would try yourself to sleep because you just, so badly wanted someone in bed to cuddle you, and that that is ok! You don’t always have to be the strong, independent, single woman that people tell you to be. 

But also remind her that she will be in a relationship for most of her life and that she SHOULD try to enjoy the single days. Watching whatever she wants on TV, going to a movie theatre or restaurant alone (it’s SO easy to get a seat at a sushi train as just one person), dancing around in her underwear etc. READING BOOKS! In a relationship sometimes you don’t want to read because it’s such a single activity and you can feel like you are ignoring the other or not spending your time together wisely. The longer a relationship goes the less you feel like this, but in the beginning this is certainly a thing.

 

Post # 11
Member
525 posts
Busy bee

“You have to love yourself first.”

 

Uh excuse me, I like myself just fine and even if I didn’t, I found someone who loves me enough for the both of us. 

Post # 12
Member
2720 posts
Sugar bee

I live in the south and many of my college friends got married when they were 22/23. I didn’t even say a word about my single status and one of the girls said to me, “Don’t worry, your turn will come.” I just smiled and nodded. We were only 22/23. I wasn’t worried. 

Post # 13
Member
2884 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@LadyBlackheart:  i had a similar conversation today where my friend said she thought she’d be alone forever and wanted to find someone and was miserable being single, and i said that of course she would, itd all work out etc

yes, i know as a single woman there’s a temptation to reply “but how do you know” but what’s the alternative? you can say reassuring cliches, or something brutally honest like “you’re right. there is a possibility you wont meet someone ever because you know what, not everyone does. people DO die alone. hopefull you wont and yuoll find someone, but if you don’t you’ll have to try and enjoy life as a single person” e

i personally found a lot of the ocmmon sayings trite, but a different word choice wouldnt have helped me. it was frustration with my situation rather than how people spoke to me

Post # 14
Member
1926 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I can’t really attest to when I was single… since I haven’t been in a VERY long time… but when I was dating my now husband I was a year ahead of him in school and so I graduated and when to college and he was still in his senior year of HS. Everyone was like “You should break up, you’re going to meet SO many great guys in college!” *eye roll* 

I DID meet some great guys in college, and one was actually kind of tempting to date, but in the end I stuck it out with my DH and it all ended great! 

Post # 15
Member
3128 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

@Everdeen:  I have never not wanted to read a book. Luckily, most guys I have dated would also read a book/play video games/watch a dumb movie on Netflix while I cuddled with them and read 🙂

But I agree with what you say! Do whatever you want whenever you want while you are single, it is the best part!

Post # 16
Member
314 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

How is a girl like you single? Ughhh that used to drive me crazy.

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