Post # 1
I think I need some kind words. I am going through a lot right now; my mother might have a brain injury, my grandmother was recently admitted to a nursing home after not being able to stand or walk anymore, my sister has an MRI scheduled today to look for issues that are affecting her cognition, and now one of my best friends is pissed at me.
On top of that, my boyfriend has something really special planned for tonight and I think it’s the engagement.
I never really have fights with my friends because things have never escalated to that point. However, I had to cancel some long standing plans at the last minute with her because I was sick. I was hoping she understood, and she said she does… but I can definitely sense distance now and right at a time where I really needed her the most.
The grown up thing to do would be to put this aside for now and just enjoy my day. But I’m having a hard time doing anything but being worried about my family and about the friend I wanted as a maid of honor. I have a very, very small girl friend group and as I’ve left the work place, things have definitely changed. People are all moving on with their lives and I know we’re growing apart.
I’m sorry of this is segmented or it isn’t cohensively explained. I guess I’m asking for tips on what to do to get this off of my mind right now because of tonight, or if I should ask my BF to postpone it. I really don’t want to ask him to postpone it…
Any advice is appreciated.
Post # 3
Is it possible you can write her an email or talk to her over text? This might be advice in the wrong direction, but I’m the type of person that I really like things resolved. If it were me, I’d want to get in touch with my friend and just let her know how much you value her friendship and you are really sorry you missed out on your plans. Let her know that things have been sort of crazy in your life recently, and her friendship would help get through some rough times. Then I’d attempt to make future plans with her.
On the flip side, if you can’t resolve this before tonight- don’t worry. If you really think this is the proposal night, during you and your bf’s plans you won’t be thinking about this. You’ll be too excited.
Post # 4
Can you do something sweet for her to just let her know that even though you had to cancel, you still <3 her? You’ll definitely want her by your side when you’re wedding planning! Can you maybe give her a small Starbucks gift card or make her a card just to let her know you value her friendship?
Also, I’m sorry (almost) everything seems to be going wrong for you :(.
Post # 5
I agree with jo.lee…… reach out to her and let her know your thinking about her. I am sorry that there is so much to worry about for you now… See if you could do something sweet for her before you leave town? Maybe call her and talk to her i’m sure she misses your company too.
Post # 6
I tried, I sent her an email today explaining why I had to cancel and all of the other things going on. She said she was not mad, but disappointed. She didn’t comment on anything else I wrote to her about though, and ended it in a way that makes me think I need to give her space… so I will. I’m just so bummed now.
I guess we’ll see how it plays out. 🙁 Hopefully I will have some good experiences tonight.
Post # 7
@artichokesalad: i wouldn’t let it phase me. you said you were sorry and you have a lot going on. if this is something you’re prone to do though (cancelling plans), then maybe you should take this chance to look at your actions – though, if you’re this aware of it, I don’t think you are. No way should you tell your BF to postpone. 1) he may not be anyways 2) if he is, there’s no reason that a tiff with your friend should have any bearing on when you and your FH take the next step towards marriage.
Post # 8
I think “I’m not mad, just disappointed” is somewhat of a good statement. She’s probably a bit scared at losing you when you get married (if she’s not already). My BFF and I have known eachother for 25 years. We’ve both gone through a lot of changes and there were times I didn’t know if we would continue being friends, but our friendship is better than ever. Ups and downs are normal. Be excited for tonight and put everything else out of your mind!
Post # 9
You guys are right, and doubly right for the transitory period. I am going to try to relax. Maybe because of all the other happenings in my life I am blowing it out of proportion, but it’s hard to really *know*.