When your ex gets married before you

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
1241 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

@cherriesandcream:  My ex H got married within a year of our divorce. He’d only been dating her for about six or seven months. My SO and I have been dating for 3 years now, so I get that feeling, but as hard as it is, you can’t compare relationships. You have to look at yours and say you’re happy with it or not. 

Waiting is hard, but if you are determined to wait on him, it’ll be worth it in the end.

Post # 5
2578 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

My ex got married twice before me, lol… obviously he chose well. 😛 In all seriousness though, it doesn’t bother me that he’s been married twice, as we split for a reason–I’m more upset at the fact that DH drug his feet so long in asking me to marry him (we were engaged after 9 years of dating, and finally married after 11 1/2–after calling off the engagement for a bit)!

Post # 6
1696 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Not to be mean…but so what? Be the bigger person. He’s your ex for a reason, unless he was physically or emotionally abusive, just be happy for him getting over you and moving on. Unless you have become friends with him, why are you keeping tabs on him anyway? 


Good for him on his marriage. I wish him well. Remember, it isn’t a race to the finish line.

Post # 7
6812 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

One of my exes is getting married this year and proposed to his gf right before my FI proposed to me, but they were together longer (5yrs vs 3yrs) – another ex that I very briefly dated got married and had a baby.  Neither of these feel weird to me, I’m very happy for both of them, but we didn’t date long so there weren’t strong feelings.  My 2 more serious relationships, the guys are both single still. One of them I hate and wish diarrhea upon him lol.. the other one, I have mixed feelings about – I feel like he didn’t know how to have a gf (I was the first girl he dated for over a few weeks and said “I love you” to and the first real serious gf) and that he wasn’t ready for as serious a relationship as we had and I also feel like the fact that he can’t keep another girl for over a few months since we broke up 3.5 years ago just kinda reaffirms for me that I wasn’t the one that was wrong. Maybe I’m wrong to feel that way, but I definitely felt the relationship ended bc of his inability to understand females. Sometimes I want to reach out to him and just be there, as a friend who is a female who can help him out with girls, but we haven’t spoken in 2.5 years and I think my FI would get upset if I reached out to him at this point.

But, I get how you feel – while the PP is right, you should be happy for your exes and it isn’t a race to the finish line, I understand the feeling you have and think it’s normal. At the same time, they may have married first, but it doesn’t mean their relationship is any better than yours. 🙂

Post # 8
258 posts
Helper bee

I have no idea what’s going on with my ex, but if he has a new gf I feel so bad for her… 🙁

Post # 9
2358 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I don’t give a rats ass. They r lying cheating bastards so I actually only feel pity for the girls they married. 

Post # 10
99 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

He’s your ex, I don’t understand why this matters to you if you are truly happy in your own relationship.  There’s no rush to get married and quite frankly, you have no idea what their relationship is based on.  For all you know, they will be divorced in under a year. 

Post # 11
852 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@paula1248:  Ha, ha. You made me chuckle!

Post # 12
1896 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I totally get you on this. It’s not that you want him or are jealous but that he bounced back faster after the broken relationship. That naughty little part of human nature that feels you deserve to be “happier” first. just remember that competing with him is no competition at all. Just puts more pressure on your current, already happy relationship. 


Post # 14
668 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@cherriesandcream:  I get the “when is it my turn?” sentiment for sure!!!

At least you have great spirit and can be happy for them! When my first serious ex married the ex girlfriend of a mutual friend who was the opposite of me in every way, I wondered if he lied to me about why he loved me and what he wanted in life. Eventually I realizes that he had been lying–to himself. His wife and I are friendly but he won’t talk to me, LOL.

Waiting is hard but you’re in love NOW!!!


Post # 15
84 posts
Worker bee

@cherriesandcream:  who cares what ppl are doing who have no part of your 

life. It’s just your ego getting the better of you. Let it go.

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