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Buy gifts only off the registry (cash excluded)?
I've seen a lot of people talk about how most people don't end up buying off the registry... just curious if this is common practice.
I don't mean handing down a family gift, or something non registry related, I mean a home good or item that would be found on a registry, but wasn't requested.
Kind of makes me nervous if it's the case!
ETA: for example, if someone noticed the couple didn't register for any coffee mugs, and decided to buy them a set anyway.
I only buy off registry for the shower and the gift for the wedding is always cash/check
I usually do. However, I had a special request from my friend who was the bride to give her a piece of my art. That is the only time I've ever strayed.
I do if it's a family member or someone who I am not super close friends with. I usually don't if it's a very good friend of mine. I once went to Bed, Bath & Beyond to get my friend a gift off her registry. They printed off the full registry for me (lots of pages0 and basically sent me off on my own. I was so overwhelmed by it all that I just bought whatever I could find and left.
I always stick to the registry or give a gift card to one of the registry stores if I can't afford something or only random items are left.
The only time I've ever bought an item not on the registry was to give a bottle of wine to accompany some wine glasses I bought (from the registry). We had a few people do something like that for us for our wedding (a bottle of red with a decanter, and a REALLY good bottle of white with our white wine glasses), and we were really happy about it!
Yes! If they took the time to create the registry, I take the time to shop off of it. And if I don't it's because we are giving cash.
I normally get something off of the registry and something else that's not. Sometimes they coordinate, sometimes they don't but I like to add something personal. Of course, if we don't know the couple that well, we stick to the registry.
I absolutely think small things off the registry or personal things are great - we did that for FSIL & FBIL's wedding gift. Maybe it's older relatives that people talk about buying off the registry more? Somehow I could see them "knowing better." haha.
Yes, Even for close friends. I just look at the list and get something off the list that compliments our friendship.
We went to a couples shower a few weeks ago for some friends of ours. We went to BB&B that morning and chose a blender from their registry. Gave the registry papers, it was taken off, we got it wrapped and left.
That night, BEFORE our present was opened.... a male friend got them the same blender! I was so mad! lol. I mean, really, what's the point of printing off a registry and then not even getting the item taken off!?
Of course, about 10 min. later ours was opened and WE were the butt of the jokes. grrrrrr
@KLP - I've seen that same thing happen at countless showers. It sucks that yours was opened second since you were the ones who stuck to the registry. I don't get why people wouldn't take the extra time to hand over the registry paper to the cashier!
I agree with ErinMarquerite--something off the registry and then something not from the registry that is "special", not a blender that I think they should have picked, but something that they wouldn't or couldn't have registered for--something meaningful or "heirloom-y". If I don't know them, usually money or something from the registry. We received so many great things that we never would have registered for though, so don't worry too much about receiving stuff you don't want...We had a running gag in my cooperative house where we passed down a really ugly painting from one bride to the next :) There is always Goodwill!
I usually do, unless there's some specific reason not to. The couple took the time to figure out what they want and need and I think it would be rude if you just disregard their registry and bought whatever you wanted. Granted, I know there's instances and that's fine but for the most part, that's the reason why there are registries.
The only time I would ever shop off the registry (and I haven't ever done this so far) would be if I got a really good deal on the same exact product somewhere else. Like, same exact brand, color, size, everything. And even then I would try to contact the store where they were registered and say something like "Oh I bought this for them but I forgot to tell you to mark it down, could you do it now?" and see if I could prevent a double that way.
I think older generations do shop off registry more. I remember my mom and aunt describing a shower gift they got for a cousin of mine. They went on the registry and saw what color towels and sheets she wanted, and then went and bought a completely different set at a different store that they thought was better (which knowing them meant cheaper). I tried to explain to them why that was not a good idea, but they wouldn't hear of it. ugh.
I usually stick to the registry but I do occassionally stray. I just threw my FSIL a shower and I was the first to know about her registry so I got to look at it before any invitations went out and bought my gift. I got a few baking things that were on there but there were a LOT of holes of things I know are helpful when baking and I knew they didn't have them. And, since the registry was small and it was a HUGE shower (45 people) I didn't want to take the entire registry so I got her some extras not on the registry in addition to a few from it.
I usually buy from the resgistry only. The only time that I strayed is if the peson is a very close friend and I know their style. In circumstances like that I have bought a "thoughtful" gift that I know they will love and appreciate that it was from me.
@eeh2010 - that's what I'm really worried about! I'm sure you honestly knew her well enough to know what to get her, but I'm a total kitchen snob. Won't cook on non-stick/teflon anything, already bought a Kitchen Aid stand mixer, etc. I guess that's what returns are for, right?
If i'm close to the couple I'll usually buy a gift that is NOT on the registry. I just really don't like registries and think they are sort of impersonal. I always feel silly giving someone a pot or a cutting board. It just seems sort of thoughtless to me, especially since they told me exactly what they wanted. I try to do something personal if i know the couple's style. Something personalized. Sometimes I give cash because hey, then they can get themselves whatever they want, (or pay of bills or whatever). If I don't know the couple as well or really don't want to put forth too much effort i'll just buy something on the registry.
I stick to the registry..who am I to assume I know better what the couple wants..They registered for a reason, right?
We buy off the registry (unless we're giving cash/checks). We preferred it when people bought from our registry instead of other things, so it made sense to do the same.
i only buy off the registry for showers, weddings i give $$. and if its a really close friend and im in the wedding, i get what i know they need LOL
I have always felt so impersonal with getting things off the registry and have hated it, but I stuck with it anyway. Now that I'm getting married I realize "this is what I want! buy it for me!" and I hope people stick to it (except for cash or things I have requested to be from them personally).
http://gift-ideas.just4youalone.com/gift_registry_purpose.htm
I will look at the registry,but most often buy gifts that are what I WANT to give. Registries are supposed to be wish lists of the couple who has registered, not demands on what people should purchase.
I would never buy something that's not ON the registry! Unless I knew for a fact that perhaps they really wanted it but didn't put it on for some reason.
Going to the reception I think I will always give cash. But to a bridal shower or something? Def off the registry.
I stray from the registry sometimes. You just can't put EVERYTHING on there! For example, I found a great table linen set at a great price on BBB. It had the tablecloth, the napkin rings, the napkins, all of it. It turned out to be a really cute gift all packaged up and I know it was something my friend would love.
I only do that for close friends for gifts I REALLY know they'll love. Like i got my friend pink-stemmed crystal wine glasses. On her registry? No. Did i know she'd flip nutso over them? Yep, so i got them anyways! Or, personalized gifts--like a ring bowl from Etsy for a bridal shower. But then i typically do one small non-registry gift for $15 or so and then something small off their registry, too. I include a gift receipt and if they don't like it, that's fine...but sometimes I really do find AWESOME stuff on sale or not on their registry I know they'd be thrilled to have.
For the last two weddings I attended I took a look at their regestries and noticed that a ton of small items ($10 and under) were still left. I made each a gift bag of all the small items. They both said they had fun opening and that they were happy that I helped complete their registry.
I always either give cash or a registry gift (or a gift card to one of the stores the couple is registered at). The exception was for my sister's bridal shower, I made her a honeymoon beach bag (filled with stuff for her hawaiian honeymoon...towels, bathing suit, lotions, sunscreen, books, lingerie, and personalized bath robes).
The only time I didn't was for a shower..they had a wine themeish, so I bought them a tart warmer from yankee candle that was a wine bottle shape & some candles.
I only buy off the registry. *If* I am very close with the bride and/or groom, I may buy a personal gift in addition to one off the registry. For example, when my college roommate got married over the summer, I bought her and her husband two gifts from the registry and also a gift I knew they'd love that they hadn't registered for. But I only felt comfortable doing that because I'd known them for 7+ years and know them so well.
I almost always stick to the registry, that way I know I'm giving the couple something they want. I do try to make an effort to give them something that reflects our relationship (eg, I bought the french press for the friend I always go to coffee with, and the fancy pasta strainer for the friend I traveled to Italy with in college.)
I have always always always stuck with that was on the registry. I actually can't stand when people don't. Its strange to me. How can you assume they wanted that item? Even when it wasn't on the registry, which is the list of items they truly want? Seriously, can't understand it. I realize I'm gonna have to figure out a way not to show my annoyance with this matter next weekend. My shower is next weekend and from my registry stalking, I see that a lot of items haven't been purchased. There is a large chance that guests just simply don't bring gifts at all though... god I can't wait til this shower is over!
I buy whatever the hell I want to, haha. It's a gift! If I don't have a specific idea in mind, or no time to package/mail something, I go with the online registry. Honestly, it seems pretty impersonal to get a good friend some random thing off the registry for me, unless the couple has only registered sparingly for things they really needed.
Did a breakfast in bed kit with the registry item of bed trays - I thought it'd be lame to just send them 2 bed trays so we got a bunch of boxes of muffins, coffee, tea, etc. For wine drinkers, I've done a bottle of wine a month to toast their anniversary (champagne for the 1 year!) in a pretty wooden box. For people that cook, griddle pans etc. Handmade pottery from cool local vendors. And c-a-s-h.
Personally, we've really enjoyed our registry gifts, but also were pleasantly surprised by the random ones that came in, too! A night at a bed and breakfast, a handmade bowl, locally made stainless servingware, framed photos, 2 live lobsters!, etc.
I got one of these, not from my registry (duh): http://www.thesmashedchefs.com/ and it has our names and wedding dates on it. That kind of stuff is the BEST gifts we got off our registry. We got a lot of weird stuff, too (stuff from Country Living anyone? A crock pot we didn't register for?)....but we got a lot of personalized awesome stuff. My SIL got us a Kate Spade picture/invitation frame we didn't register for either, but i love it! Some of our favorite stuff was non-registry gifts, but from people who REALLY knew us (i'm not talking the hideous country living stuff), but from people who knew what we'd like.
@Melissabegins, that breakfast in bed idea is awesome!
2 different couples I know got married recently and neither one had a registry that I am aware of...so I couldn't stick to it.
But normally, I would unless I wanted to give cash or something personal.
@ejs - thanks! It wasn't really that expensive, either. It was just a beast to mail (but we get a discount through work, so we did it anyway).
oh, one more thing that we got as a gift off registry that we loved were from my SIL and her family - they had a central PA artist draw a marriage certificate for us, in pennsylvania dutch style. it had all our names, dates, and information and it was just so lovely. And a hex sign with our names for good luck. I guess you must be a PA person to appreciate these things, but they were really cool!
certif.jpg (18.5 KB, 24 downloads) 2 years old
@smyley- I think you totally misunderstood. I'm not saying that a registry is the only thing anyone can by from. I'm talking about registry type items. So, let's say a distant great aunt decides she doesn't like that I have no baking ware on my registry (I have A LOT!) and decides to get me a full set of non-stick bakeware. I don't think the problem has anything to do with people you know well, and everything to do with those "oh, every bride should register for this, she must have missed it" attitudes.
@melissabegins - see, the bed in breakfast idea is super cute. I would love something like that, but that's not what I was talking about since the couple wouldn't have put a different type of muffin on their registry or something! We tend to abide by the "one registry gift, one personal gift" rule of thumb if we know the couple really well, just registry if we don't. Totally not what I'm bashing here!
I have to say, I would be really upset if anyone got us lobsters! We're both vegetarians for ethical reasons, and it would make me really, really sad to see that. I wish I could say that all the people coming to our wedding know us well enough to know not to do that, but I've never even met some of the people coming. Blah.
@ejs - I guess I counted that kind of thing as personal? I'm really not trying to insult anyone, and I think maybe I phrased the question poorly. Whoops!
@lilyfaith - i did have a minor breakdown with the lobsters, I'll admit that. I spent about 15 minutes hiding in the bathroom, and when they were cooking locked myself in the office til it was done. We'll never order them again, but it was a really nice gesture and did taste very good. We are not vegetarians, though.
@lilyfaith, i wasn't insulted at all!!!!! I hope you didn't think I was! I just started brainstorming on what we got that i liked so much and it got me thinking. But i see what you mean by registry type items now. I got annoyed when I registered for a certain crockpot, and then somebody would get me a different one. Dude, I wanted THAT one for a reason! ha. But i did have a bridesmaid buy me a $20 bath and body works set for a wedding gift...that's probably more what you meant, and yes, people do that! lol
Oh i also got a chip/dip set and margarita set my MIL got me that were awesome. DH told her I was a boozer I guess....=]
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