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Trying to figure out what's normal. In my family, they fully understand that we may not tell them anything for 3 months.
For his family, they will be *shocked.*BIL and SIL announced right away, and I think that was expected.
Now we're trying to decide how long to keep it a secret (because if we wait to make a deal on this until we get the news, I can guarantee he'll just tell everyone!)
I'm leaving the poll options open so you can vote on multiple in case you had multiple pregnancies and announced them at a different number of weeks.
I plan on telling only like my mom and my best friend as soon as I find out. If something goes wrong with the pregnancy, I want there to already be a support system in place of people who were already in the know.
I don't think I'll be able to hold off on making the big announcement longer than maybe 3 months or so, though.
I love how I'm talking about this as though it's relevant to my near future. We don't plan on TTC for like another 2 years, lol.
Not pregnant yet, but my mom will know the minute it happens as I have to undergo infertility treatments and she is aware of them to the detail. DH's family is roughly aware but I will not allow them to know dates as I don't want to me gawked at and guesses made. If I ever get pregnant I would share to them and everyone else at 15-20 weeks.
From an outsider's perspective, I would definitely tell your immediate family very soon. My sister only told my mom and swore her to secrecy (which was impossible--mom told dad and me as soon as she got off the phone). So now we know, but we can't share the joy with her because we're too busy pretending like we don't have a clue :/. She plans on not announcing it until she's three months along, which is pretty ridiculous because she's practically a size zero and you can already tell her chest is larger and it hasn't been long at all. Sigh.
We told our parents, grandparents (esp since their up in age), siblings, and I told my 2 very closest friends upon finding out.
We haven't told anyone else yet and we haven't decided quite when we will. We're very involved in our Church so once it's out it's out. lol Not sure how long I'll be able to get away with hiding it though... this isn't my first and I can already feel like I may show much earlier than the last time....Ultimately I'd like to tell before people start specualting and/or taking bets. lol
Not pregnant or planning to be anytime soon, but I've already told DH I want to wait to tell anyone until it's completely impossible to deny that I'm housing a miniature version of us, and he understands. I don't like unsolicited advice, and I hate how family and strangers alike seem to think no topic, no matter how personal or TMI. is off-limits the second you're knocked up. The longer we can stay under the radar, the better!
I had to tell my work as soon as I found out with my yougest, I was giving chemotherapy on a daily basis and it is against policy to do so when pregnant. We didn't telll anyone else until 12 weeks or so. I had complications at 6 weeks on and was having ultrasounds every two weeks so we didn't say anything until we were in the clear.
Hmm, this is an interesting one. I'm not pregnant yet, nor do I plan to be for another several months at least, but I have thought about this. I know I wouldn't make an announcement to everyone until at least 12 weeks (possibly even wait until the 20 week scan) but I know I couldn't wait that long to tell my immediate family and best friend. My sister would probably be the first person we'd tell, but I'd probably wait until 12 weeks to tell my mom...I think? I know she wants to be a grandparent so badly, I'd want to make sure everything was ok before getting her hopes up! Then again, I'm the worst secret keeper on the planet, so who knows?? I'll be interested to read other people's responses!
@jo.lee:LOL. My chest shrunk when I went off BC, and I think BC mimicks pregnancy hormones, so I think I'll be ok on that front.
As close as I am with my mom, (and he with his mom) we won't tell them until we're ready to tell everyone. They won't be able to keep this one in!
We told family and some friends when found out about 12 weeks or so along. But this is also when we found out ourselves!
I have a big mouth, I'd tell most people asap...Another thing is that I would be SO devastated, as everyone would, with a m/c, that I don't think it could hurt any worse if people knew I was pg and then not pg. It would all suck. So i'd rather have that thrill and deal with the devastation later...
when/if I get pregnant, the first thing I am doing is marching on over to the bee to tell everyone.
DH wants to wait to tell our family untill we are in the second trimester. He thinks they will blab it on FB or whatever.
I would like to tell them right away in the event something happens, I would like to have their support.
I was not given the option of telling people. My pregnancy was a bit "scandalous" in my small town so word of it got out FAST. My own mother found out from the parent of a former classmate.
@ellabee: Haha, good call! Telling everyone at once is a great idea so no one is left out of the good news!
It's a good thing, you should tell everybody as soon as possible, people around you will be happy for you.
We told our parents, siblings, my grandparents, & a few others the day we found out (4w5d). DH was deploying a couple of weeks later. Otherwise, we wouldnt have told anyone until 12 weeks. We made a big announcement for everyone else at 12 weeks.
We told our families and grandparents.... and my mom made an anouncement to all 40 cousins! I only told my best friend bc if things went wrong I would need her and want to talk to her just as bad as wanting to share this special time with her now.
My husband however will tell whoever will listen! I can't control him its becoming annoying! He came home tonight and told me that he told our realtor! I think its cute he is excited but I am just more cautious as I am only 7.5 weeks.
@linguo42:LOL. I like it. We will probably try to stay under the radar a lot, too.
@Mrs. Menard to Be :Oh--that would be my except to the rule. If we got pregnant before he deployed again, we would tell people before he deployed.
Thing is, bees, I'm a little superstitious, and worried about telling people at all. So... the idea of waiting 12 weeks seems best so far for me. I think he's still in the "tell everyone NOW" camp.
Lucky (or unlucky) for us, we don't need to decide yet.
We told all of our close family the same day. I wanted to wait until at least the 8 week mark to tell everyone else, but SIL and my Mom both announced it on FB the day after. *Face Palm* I then had to tell everyone at work first (word of mouth concerns there) and then I had to confirm on FB. I was a little sad, but glad everyone knows.
We told our my parents and g-ma and DH's g-parents and my very best friend right away. Another close friend found out by accident last night, but he's not saying anything. I don't really have a time frame as to when I'm going to tell everyone else yet, but I'm feeling a little selfish and want to keep our news to myself a little longer.
I'll probably man up in the next 2 weeks or so, so that I can tell people before I move to Europe.
We told both sets of parents and his sister about a week after finding out. We told my parents about 2 weeks after finding out (when I was just shy of 6 weeks). We just told one of my siblings (and I'm 9 weeks tomorrow) and will tell my other sibling and grandparents next week. We'll come out to everyone else 2 weeks after that, when we're 12 weeks along. In retrospect, or next time, I may wait til about 10 weeks to tell everyone. It's been very hard for our family to keep it a secret (even though they have).
Both sets of parents were told early. Then close friends & the rest of the friend at 10 weeks when we saw the heartbeat. We told most other people more around 4 months.
We told his parents and my mom when I was about 6 weeks. We then waited until 12 weeks to tell others. We made sure to tell all the family first and then a few days later we told everyone else
I am sure this will make us sound like we LOVE alcohol but to be honest if/when I get preg I am not sure how long we could really hide it due to his line of work and the fact that we see our friends weekly for drinks. They would all know right away if I didn't have a drink. --- It wouldn't be a red flag if I only had one but it would be if I had NONE. Plus he works in the beer industry and we have to go to a large amount of events and expected to drink beer. His work would find out right away if I was not drinking.
I am pretty sure that within a few weeks of finding out we would tell our families and annouce it because a secret wont be kept with the way his family is.
We actually are currently at the end of the TWW and are thinking if this is it we might tell everyone when my mom is in town for a visit. We would do dinner with my mom and his parents to annouce it to them. Then tell all of our friends.
Not pregnant yet, but our plan is to wait as long as possible before telling anyone. DH's sister told everyone pretty much the day she got her BFP, and I told DH that I wouldn't be comfortable doing that. Several of our friends have had miscarriages recently and I think I'd feel a little gun shy doing it sooner.
If I have to tell someone earlier, I might go with my BFF who lives out of state - we're on the same "trying" cycle and it would be nice to share with someone who is in the same situation. If we told my mom or DH's parents, everyone would know immediately.
Not pregnant yet but my plan is to tell my best friend right away, my parents as soon as we see them next (which is every few weeks), and then his family/everyone else after 12 weeks. I just wouldn't want anyone but my parents/my best friend to know if I had a miscarriage.
We told our immediate families right when I found out and I told my two best friends. Then, I miscarried. I eventually told other close friends about the pregnancy/miscarriage. I would do the same if and when I get pregnant again - that is, tell close families and close friends immediately. Basically, I would tell those who I would want support from in the event of a miscarriage.
I would wait to let others (work, other friends, other family) know until after 12 wks, though.
Just found out we are expecting last night and only my bestfriend knows! We will probably tell our parents within the next week or two. I think we will wait till the 2nd trimester to announce to the world.
@jholler25: I have a big mouth too and I was bursting with excitement that I think everybody knew within days haha!
My roomate was the first to know. At the time I was living with my best friend and I thought I was hallucinating when I took the test so I woke her up at 5am and made her confirm that I was seeing two pink lines haha.. Pregnancy was not planned and I was only with my boyfriend for 4 months so I was pale as a ghost and freaking out!
Right after that, I had to wait for my boyfriend to wake up because we both just got off night shift ( Im a dispatcher and he is a police officer ) and he went home to go to sleep. So I waited until he got up and told him. Then told my mom and dad... and then told the whole world... Pretty sure this all happened within the day of my finding out :) haha.
We told various immediate family members at different times based entirely on how likely they were to keep it a secret until we were ready. We each told 1 sibling immediately, told his parents at 8 wks, told my mom at 10 wks and my dad at 11.5 wks. All with instructions to keep it VERY QUIET until we were ready to announce to our extended families, our other siblings, and friends. We told the our extended families after test results came back at 12.5 wks, and told friends, etc. at 16 wks.
We told our parents and siblings at 7 weeks when I had my first ultrasound. At about 12 weeks we told our grandmothers and let it spread from there.
I told my family right away at 5 weeks, but we're not telling the general public until after 12-14 weeks, and keeping it off FB until our 18-20 week ultrasound.
My sister already knows. So does my office mate, since I feel horrible all day long, and it's hard to hide that from someone who sits at the desk across from mine all day. We were planning on waiting until 12 weeks to tell everyone else, but it turns out we'll be seeing my grandma at 10 weeks, and we would love to tell her in person. So now we'll tell our parents and close family at 10 weeks, close friends sometime around 12 weeks, and everyone else after that...
My FMIL and BFF would know right away, everyone else will find out at end of the 3rd trimester.
I think I've changed my mind and will tell our moms right away next time, because this time sucked too bad. (I lied, I was pregnant when I started this thread.)
Other than that, maybe we'll wait to make a general announcement until however long we can hold it in.
@ellabee: I'm so sorry.
Having support people is always good, especially during such an emotional time.
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