Post # 1
Ugg, they way SO had been behaving and other things I really thought he might ask this weekend. And as so many bees I’m sure have experienced in the past. I probably read too much into it because I quickly realized that he wasn’t.
I’m still so very hurt and frustrated. My SO has been unemployed and within the last 3 months finally landed a job. We have an herloom ring we are using but it needs some repair work which SO was going to pay for. Obviously while he was unemployed I wasn’t expecting anything and for awhile afterwards, I knew he needed to catch up on his bills.
Now I know he’s pretty much caught up and what does he do? Buys himself a new phone (one I might add he didn’t really need but wanted). I was very hurt! He still complains about not having a lot of money and he buys a phone! My e-ring probably costs less than that phone. When am I going to take priority?
Secondly, he asks for my advice on how he could save money. I give him several suggestions on things he could cut out on and he doesn’t like any of my suggestions (like cutting gym membership, etc).
I’m feeling so very lost and hurt. I haven’t really said much to him about it because I feel this proposal should be his choice and not me whining and complaining, but I can’t help feeling like I’m not taking prioirty in our relationship.
Post # 3
I’m sorry hun, that sounds terrible! Maybe he’s worried about funding the actual proposal? Your ring should definetely take priority over a phone! Us bees are so good at saving money – and so many of us aren’t expecting unlimited E-ring funds! I often wonder myself why ring costs always seems to be such an issue when there are so many options.
Have you had your heirloom ring repairs estimated?
Post # 4
Yep went to the jewelry store before we decided to do this just to make sure it wasn’t cost prohibitive. Total cost including resizing less than $150
Post # 5
For my SO, if the perfect E-ring fell out of the sky and landed in his pocket today he still wouldn’t propose. Even though I am going to be working and supporting half our household, he feels he needs to demonstrate the ability to provide and have his “ducks in a row” before we can take the next step.
Maybe your SO is feeling the same way? Like he needs to have a better grasp on his finances first?
Still, not very fair about the phone. I’m sorry, I hope you get your ring and proposal soon!
Post # 6
That is a terrible feeling – especially since the ring you want is already available and very reasonable!! Many of us have been there too so you’re certainly not alone. I just got engaged 2 months ago after 3 years together. I remember thinking about it constantly – I would even get a little angry at him and he wouldn’t even know why. He’d ask something like “Where do you want to go for dinner?” and I’d be like “I don’t care, wherever”. I was snippy sometimes and on edge and he probably thought it was for no reason! But the reason was because the whole way driving home from work I had been staring at my hand on the steering wheel and noticing my lack of a ring and wondering WHY??!!
I can sympathize – I hope he comes through soon!
Post # 7
Thanks guys I do feel somewhat better now and I know that when ever he chooses to do it, it will be because he wants to. Thanks for your love and support it helps! Sometimes I feel like no one understands (at least that I know) because they haven’t gone through this.
Post # 8
@happy2bee: I totally understand what you are going through. Just know, he might just be saying these things to throw you off… Guys tend to do that. My SO just went out and got a new vehicle… of course now money is tight, but I also know there is a ring somewhere… You never know if maybe he got an influx of money and got the ring fixed along with getting the cell phone for himself 🙂
I felt the same way as you when we were sitting in that office and he was about to sign the papers for his new Jeep. I was thinking “a ring would be cheaper than this… I really wish we would have talked about this more… he already HAS a decent vehicle” Trust me, the whole gammat. Hang in there girly! Maybe he is planning something SUPER special!