Post # 1
I have not received thank-you card’s for the last three weddings i’ve been to.
One was over a year ago and we gave them a very expensive pot and pan set. We sent them an e-mail about 6 months after the wedding asking if they had received our gift, just to make sure it hadn’t been stolen or lost from the gift table. They never responded to our e-mail.
The next wedding I was a bridesmaid in (in April) and i gave a large check. It was deposited the day after the wedding.
The one after was in June (a little more acceptable since it’s only been 3 months) and we gave another check that was AGAIN deposited the day after the wedding.
I am getting really upset. All of these people are our close friends. I am slowly climbing onto my high horse and need someone to pull me down. But I can’t imagine that thank-you card’s are becoming a thing of the past. Honestly, I would have even taken a thank-you phone call over nothing.
How do you all deal with this? It’s easy to say “nothing” after the first time…but 3 times in a row??
Post # 3
Man, what a tough situation. I think it’s really rude that you didn’t get a thank you. However, I wouldn’t want to ruffle feathers and would try to forget it. Maybe you just have a horrible post-person who is dead set on stealing your thank-yous? :p
Post # 4
@lolita39: Haha, maybe! Sounds like a perfect character for a book.
Post # 5
@KateByDesign: I don’t think it’s a matter of you climbing a high horse, it’s a matter of others seeming to not realize they should thank anyone that gave a gift, regardless of how big or small it is. Even if you throw etiquette out the window, a basic thank you can go a long way.
In the future, perhaps consider a less expensive gift. It may sting less if the gratitude is forgotten once again. *Hugs*
Post # 6
@KateByDesign: You can’t really say anything to anyone, but I totally get why you’re pissed. How hard is it to take 2 minutes to write a note to someone.
When it comes to gifts of cheques, we plan to cash them right away (for the convenience of our guests. i hate having outstanding cheques lingering around) BUT even before that, we will write and mail our thank you notes!
Post # 8
@KateByDesign: I was a bridesmaid in my friends wedding last October and gave her a beautiful gift off of her registry, and I gave her a large dish set for her shower. I did not receive a thank you card for either gift. I felt mortified and I know that for my own wedding I will be sending thank you cards for all gifts. Definitely shouldn’t be a thing of the past.
Post # 9
@KateByDesign: this has happened to me too. I’m not sure why I never got a thank you. My friends did say they received the gift. This just makes me upset.
Post # 10
For the wedding I was in, i got a really sweet thank you card for the shower gift. That’s why I thought that situation was so odd. I’m leaning towards giving her the benefit of the doubt and thinking hers may have been lost in the mail.
Post # 11
My cousin did that. i emailed them repeatedly until I got an answer that they received it. I didn’t give a shit if I made them feel uncomfortable – at least respond to me when I ask you a question. SO RUDE.
Post # 12
perhaps cuclture plays a role? at least in the chinese culture it is very common not to do the thank you cards.. the bride and groom instead do a toast at each table and that is the thank you gesture..
if not then, i would at least expect some sort of acknowledgement whether thru a thank you card, phone call, text, or even facebook..
that one couple that didnt even reply your email is justt soo wronggg.. i feel for you.. *hugs*
Post # 13
That’s terrible! I know people don’t give gifts to receive a ‘thank you’, but it’s inexcusable to not do so. I was freaking out because I got mine out about a month after our wedding,and I was worried that was too late. You are definitely not on a high horse–it’s perfectly reasonable to be upset after it has happened for the third time!
Post # 14
It would be so much easier to contact these people if I didn’t know that they deposited the checks!
Post # 15
@KateByDesign: Recieving a thank you card is a rarity, and it drives me crazy. I get that after the wedding, people just want to be done with it and move on, but I really appreciate getting a thank you.
The only person I’ve asked about this is a close friend with whom I was comfortable speaking candidly, and she said thank you cards were old fashioned. They didn’t want the added expense, and it took so much restraint for me to not reply with, “well, I didn’t WANT to give you $250 in cash but I did!”
Post # 16
@KateByDesign: I am amazed that you find it suprising. I mean just read the threads on any given wedding forum around etiquette (and how a bride doesn’t care about it), gifts (why didn’t they give me a gift and can I ask them about it or the gift wasn’t good enough) and lack of concern for guests comfort (I am only serving meat the vegetarians can pack their own dinner).
Add to that how some brides think what a great favour they are doing for their guests by throwing a wedding and how grateful guests should be.
Yeah I am suprised anyone gets a thank you card nowadays.