Post # 1
Okay, so this is obviously a vent, but I am so mad at one of my “friends” right now, let’s call her Jennifer. She is a good friend of mine from high school but recently things have been deteriorating. I currently live in a city away from the majority of my friends and whenever I go to my hometown I try to coordinate times to hang out with people. For the past 4 or so times I have come into town I call, text, and Facebook Jennifer to make plans but she doesn’t answer until after to offer some lame apology. It’s really upsetting because it shows me, whether she intends it or not, that I’m not important to her.
So this past weekend I was home for a wedding tasting and met up with some of our mutual friends. I called and texted Jennifer multiple times but she never answered me until last night when she apologized saying she is having a hard time and got wasted the night before I wanted to hang out. Then she immediately sends another text asking me what address I sent a Save-The-Date to another girl we went to high school with, Sue. Well Sue and I used to be close, but I haven’t seen her in years, so she’s not invited to the wedding. So I text back “I didn’t send her a Save the Date. I haven’t really spoken with her in a couple years.” Then Jennifer texts “ohhhh” then 2 minutes later “omg”
GAAHHH!! You don’t have time to meet up with me, but you can text to inquire about who is invited to the wedding? And then act weird when I tell you someone I haven’t seen in YEARS isn’t invited? Ridiculous.
Post # 3
That’s silly. On a side note, have you talked to this girl to ask her what her deal is? She sounds like she’s stuck in her own little bubble…
Post # 4
I guess I have to talk to her- if I could ever get her on the phone or see her. Our good mutual friend sort of excuses her behavior as “That’s just how she is.” But I’m over it. I have been trying and haven’t been getting anything from her, so I’m not sure what to do anymore.
Post # 5
Maybe it’s time to distance yourself from it all. I would call, leave her a message asking her to coffee to catch up, and if she doesn’t respond, maybe an email to follow up and then leave it be. It’s weird to me how girls treat each other like that randomly.
Post # 6
You sound like me, haha. I’m just glad mine is kind of sorted out. This friend was orginally going to be a bridesmaid. I sent all my girls a nice letter letting them know why they were important to me, and asking if they would be my bridesmaid, I even put down detials on another card letting them know certain things like the flowers their boquets would probably be, the color of the dress I wanted them to get, and where from. (They could choose any syle they wanted.) and things like that. Well my 2 others girls answered me no problem like a week later, my other friend thought never did. I waited and waited for like 2 months, and then I was like alright, and facebook message her asking her if she got my letter. and she’s like “Yea I got it.” and I was like “Oh, okay good. I was worried it got lost in the mail or something.” and she goes “No I got it.” and I was like thinking to myself “and…..what’s your answer?” needless to say she never gave me an answer so I figure she doesn’t want to be a bridesmaid can’t afford it, etc. We use to be real close, and it makes me sad, and now whenever I post a wedding status on my facebook, she randomly tells me she misses me, and I am just like “REALLY?!” Everytime I have tried to make plans with this girl she is always busy hanging out with someone else, or is working, and working I can understand but if you miss me then I would take that was you want to see me, so why don’t you ever make the the time or the effort to make plans to get together. But you know what it’s okay. It’s her life she can do what she wants. I just wish she wouldn’t tell me she misses me, if she really doesn’t care.
Post # 7
@SoonToBeMrs.Kiss: I know! I care so much about this friend and when we hang out she is so nice and she posts about how she misses me, too. But if you don’t put in the effort, it’s just fake.
Post # 8
she sounds EXACTLY like the girl who immediately after I got engaged called dibs on being my Maid/Matron of Honor.
Post # 9
@elliestan: Wow, lucky you
This makes me so relieved I don’t have a bridal party, because 5 months ago, I would have wanted her in it. Now, I don’t even want to invite her to the wedding if it keeps up like this.
Post # 10
forget about the mutual friend- i dont think id be inviting THIS girl to the wedding
Post # 11
Cut her out. Sounds harsh but sometimes you spend more time and energy on a relationship than the other party than that means it time to cut it.
I haven’t posted anything about our engagement on Facebook due to the “friends” from high school and college that I never see, im, talk to but know that they think they should be coming to my wedding. Arg.
The guest list is the toughest to tackle. Friends of mine no longer speak because they didn’t receive a STD when we did. Ick. Stuck in the middle is no fun.
Post # 12
Definitely be frank with her… people who have never planned a wedding (or directly been a part of the wedding planning process) have no idea what goes into it, especially that wedding invites aren’t a given! Perhaps a friendly reminder that wedding invitiations are meant for people in your life to celebrate your marriage, not just a party invite.
Post # 13
I have a friend from HS that we’ve always tried to stay in touch even though we live over 2k miles from each other. I’m tired of always making the effort. We haven’t spoken in forever. I sent her a STD and no response. I will send her an invite but I’m not expecting her to come. If she doesn’t, I’m pretty much done. I’m always the one emailing, calling, or texting with little to no response and I’m done with it all.
Post # 14
Lol. This is why I am literally inviting ONE friend from high school – and she’s a BM! I got the same thing as soon as we got engaged the whole “Hope I get that invite soon!” I’m like….I haven’t seen you since I was 17? No? I just ignored ALL of those and did like a “Thank you!” haha. People can be so strange about weddings.
Anyways, I agree with PPs that I probably wouldn’t even be inviting “Jennifer,” much less “Sue.” They both sound rude. (Obviously Sue asked Jennifer to ask you). Eh.
Post # 15
Im with @TamiN. I people that havent planned a wedding have no idea how it works. I actually had someone aske me last weekend, “Why havent I gotten my invitation yet.” Sure she had a couple of cocktails but it was really awkward. Without being too rude I mentioned that I wasnt invited to her wedding. Too bad so sad. The people that you are really close with and love will understand the process.
@Pinkbubblegum, just enjoy your day and dont think about it too much. Your dramatic friend will hopefully understand one day when she gets married. If not…what can you do.
Post # 16
Sounds like these two girls thought it was a big old party, not a wedding! I don’t blame you for being ticked off!