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Hahaha! I clicked on this expecting a "how do I get away from my crazy bride friend." Sorry your BM is MIA. I hope she orders the dress soon!
Oh dear. That stinks! Maybe she is so embarassed she hasn't returned your calls for so long that she is all together avoiding you? Or maybe she wants to back out of the wedding, but is too nonconfrontational to do so.
Are you planning on keeping her in the wedding? I would probably call her and try to give her an "out" so to speak. Like, "I know you've been really really busy, so maybe it would be best if you just skipped being in my wedding." Sorry you're going through this, I would be really frustrated!
Yes, I do want to keep her in the wedding! Good question!
Especially since I was just a BM in HER wedding this past August. And spent about $2,000 on all the stuff/gifts/hotels/transportation, etc. and about 6 weekends of my life!
UGH!!
I agree if she's given you the run around like that maybe you should politely bring up her very busy schedule and how it might not be the best thing for her to be involved in the wedding.
Then if that's the case I would remind her of how supportive you were for her. Maybe the next message you leave her can go like this, "I was remembering how stressed/worried/etc. you were about blank, since you have experience with this, could you please help me out?"
V- that is a very good idea! I wish I could say it to her live, though.. it would have a little more impact..
My MOH can be like that sometimes - she is the HARDEST person to get ahold of! I mean, it only takes a minute to answer an email, yeesh. Especially since you were so supportive in her wedding. If you can't get a hold of her and the deadline to order the dresses passes, I would just not count on her being in the wedding. Very uncool on the part of your friend!
that sucks :(... i think i'd remove her from the wedding to be honest with you, do you want this hassle until june?! i mean it sort of sucks but hey i'd just call her and let her know that you're sorry you couldn't get in touch with her but the deadline for the dress came and you cancelled her dress etc since you couldn't get in touch with her, but you still hope to see her at the wedding and the showers.
That is a very good question.
I think as soon as you ask them and they say yes, they go into hiding.
It is very hard to hear that I should consider that she might drop out. I mean, I hear about it happening to other brides all the time, but when it is actually happening to you it's very shocking!
Right now, I am more mad than anything just b/c of everything I did for her for her wedding in August. I mean, I was super responsive, I planned the shower and bach party, came down for her birthday, drove her all around the entire weekend, spent a ton of money on everything. Never got a thank you card for any of my presents now that I think about it. She just cashed my $200 check (wedding present in addition to other shower present) and stopped answering her phone.
I am a good bride, I really am! I don't hound my BM's with emails asking them for opinions, they still haven't all met each other since I didn't even ask them to get together to try on dresses.. they haven't done anything yet! And that's because I don't expect anything! And all they have to do is buy a $160 dress (which I am trying to offer to pay for her, but can't get in touch!). Ugh!
It sucks that she's treating you this way after all that you've done, but it appears that you should start asking someone to fill her place and forget about her. I personally don't have patience for that type of behavior. No one's twister her arm to be in your wedding and she has no right to put you in that position. You're about to get married and you don't need someone like that who appears to not be supportive.
There could be something going on in her life, but nothing that would prevent her from sending you a quick one-line email, text or something to let you know. For someone who doesn't have consideration to respond to your calls, I think you need to eliminate her and not wait for her to drop out.
I'm sorry to say, but I think that friendship may be done.
EDIT: I just wanted to add that maybe you could see what happens by Saturday and if you don't hear from her, consider her not in the wedding. It's just plain polite to follow-up on something you agreed to do and if she doesn't, I'd say move on to another girl to take that place.
Hi Aqua, thank you! I think you have a good point about waiting until Sat to see what happens. It is really hard to tell if we're friends or not, I mean, this is such a strange way to end a friendship. We never had a falling out. She was excited from the start about being a BM and every time I talk to her (which is not often) she sounds excited still. And for us to be friends for this long and have our friendship end for no good reason? It is just so strange..
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Please tell me b/c I am about to report my friend missing to the police! It has been months since there was any communication. I have emailed, texted, called, facespaced, you name it! Nothing!
Our deadline for ordering BM dresses is Sat, I sent a reminder email on Monday and she's the only one who didn't respond (like usual). I just called the salon and (big surprise) she's the only one who hasn't placed the order!
I called her on my way home tonight (again), and left yet another message.
Please tell me where they go to hide! I want to check wherever that is before I start planning a funeral!