- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
Do you have a basement that you can finish for a room for whichever of your children are the oldest?
Hmmm, is the family room only connected to the kitchen? Or is the family room in between the kitchen and the living room (for example)? If the family room is only connected to the kitchen, I would convert that to a fourth bedroom so the baby can have it's own room. Depending on the set-up, you may just have to build a wall and install a door, which isn't that expensive considering you'd get another whole bedroom out of it.
You can make it work.
At one point my parents, my sister a 2 yr old brother, my newborn brother and I were living in a 2 bedroom house.
We moved into a 3 bedroom house a few years later (we kept this living arrangement till I was in highschool, when my parents converted a laundry room into my own bedroom)
I don't have kids yet, so I don't know how helpful this is, but here goes...
My first thought is to put the baby in the girls' room because they aren't there all the time like your son is. And have the baby sleep in your room in the pack-n-play when the girls are there?
If the family room is not used that much and not in a high traffic area then I could also see putting the baby there.
Last choice would probably be putting the crib right in your room until she outgrows the crib.
I don't know, I wouldn't want to put the baby in your son's room for sure though.. He wouldn't be able to sleep and it seems like a total hassle. Also, why squeeze the two of them together all the time when the other room is generally empty?
If the master is bigger than the room the girls share, what about putting all three (the stepdaughters and the new baby) in the master. If there are only there every other weekend, then it probably wouldn't be a big deal. And then you could take their room - or, move the son into their room and you take his room if it is the 2nd biggest.
Or, do you use the living room or family room more? Perhaps convert the whichever you use the least into another bedroom. Temporary walls aren't very expensive.
If you have a basement, I also like the idea of converting it into another bedroom and moving which ever child is the oldest to the basement.
@Mrs. Spring: I was thinking the same thing about the family room, turn that into someone's bedroom. That's probably the best solution
We have a walkin closet that we are putting the baby into until our lease is up and we can move out of our 2 bedroom house. I have a 13 year old and don't think it is fair for him to have to share. We were currently keeping our dressers in there and will be moving them into the bedroom instead.
I think the solution might also have to depend on how old the other kids are, and what your relationships with them are like.
Sharing a room with a newborn is hard. And while a toddler might not mind sharing a room, I wouldn't trust a toddler to not keep the baby up (my best friend just had to move her girls into separate rooms since the toddler kept waking the baby up). And I think it's hard to ask older children to suddenly deal with sharing their space, waking up at night, not having privacy, etc. (re: privacy, if the baby is in there, that means you'll have to go in there at all hours too).
And relationship-wise, while I think it makes a lot of sense in some ways to use the girls' room since it is not in use most of the time, I'd worry that it may make them feel like they aren't a part of the family as much. I'd imagine your husband probably wants them to feel like your home is still their home too, which might be harder if they feel like they don't have a room. Again, I think age and relationship makes a difference- if they are really young and/or excited about the baby, then they may not mind sharing, but if they're older and not so psyched about the idea, I'd try to avoid it.
What about moving your son to the master and he share with the baby? Then you and hubby can use his room. Just store your out of season clothes, etc somewhere else in the house so the room doesn't feel too crowded.
If it's possible to close off the family room, can that be the weekend room for the girls? Then the two children that live in the house all the time can have their own rooms (and no one has to share with a baby)? It's not ideal, but if the girls are there only on weekends (so 2 nights a week), I think it might be the best solution for everyone until a better space arrangement can be found.
I attached a picture of the family room, it's right off the kitchen and very open, and we're renting (this is before we moved in).
My son is 9 years old, SD1 is 6 and SD2 is 3. I don't think it would be fair to have my 9 year old share with a newborn.
My idea was to put the baby in with the girls, because yes they're only there every other weekend. When they aren't here that room is closed, nobody goes in it, wasted space. The baby will be in our room for the first couple months in a pack 'n play, I can't have her in the room in her crib much longer than that. I made that mistake with my son and he slept in my room until he was 4!!! Not going down that road again.
So my husband told me that I'm heartless towards the girls (because their clothes were folded and stacked in the closet because I haven't had time to install the closet organizer, we moved in on July 1st.) and trying to squeeze them out of our family by having them share with the baby. To me it's unfair for me and unfair to the baby. They have their own room at their Mom's house, and they have a bed to sleep on and toys to play with at ours. Oh and he says that it's not fair of me to have bought an armoire for the baby's clothes, but no dresser for the girls and the closet organizer isn't fair to them. Um??? I can't tell you how many home decorating blogs I have visited in the past month that have converted their closets into exclusive clothes storage rather than a dresser. UGH!!! He's driven me insane and stressed me out thoroughly.
Thanks for listening to me ramble :)
how about having a family meeting and see what solutions the kids come up with? The girls might actually like the idea of sharingf if its their own, and if its their idea, your husband can't say much about the baby taking priority. A family is a team after all!
I like smileyd's suggestion of asking the kids what they think- maybe if the girls seem to not mind having the baby in their room when they're not there, you could let them help you with any redecorating or reorganizing you'd like to do in that room so they don't feel like they're just losing their room to the baby. Also, babies don't exactly care about where you keep their clothes or what the room looks like, so maybe try to minimize the baby impact on any of the kids' rooms?
Your DH doesn't get to see his kids very often- I understand his wanting to make sure that they feel welcome, and like they have a space and a role in the family and the family home (and not like they are guests who get to displace a permanent family member every couple of weeks).
Sounds like your husband is the one being unfair. The only logical solution I would see in this situation is to put the baby in the girls room while they aren't there.
Ditto Smiley's comment- that would be awesome, You could word it in a way that you would like their input (but not necessarily what they decide is what goes).
In my opinion I'd definitely say the girls room would be perfect for the baby. They are only there for four days out of the month. Make sure the room has seperate spaces (even if its just a few feet of wall) that look more girl and their space. and do the same for a bit of baby space.
Your husband is being a bit sensitive as well. Why hasn't he installed the closet organizer if its so important to him? Hmmmm. I wonder why he doesn't think them all sharing a room isn't a good idea?
Perhaps take the girls out with you to buy a few things to personalize the room for them and have them help pick out a few fun accessories for the baby's side of the room too!
When I was a kid, we went to my dad's every other weekend. I think the precedent that they have a room now is the hard part, but I have to admit it was fun to sleep on the couch when we were there, bc "she who sleeps on the couch gets to watch TV all night."
So perhaps a compromise? The baby and your son each get a room bc they're there full-time, but the girls' stuff is stored in there and it's their "home base" unless the baby is sleeping?
with your follow up comments, I would ABSOLUTELY put the baby in the girls' room - it's a bedroom that's going unused for the most part. I think it's totally possible for them to share closet/armoire space.
why not buy/find some items that are for little girls that would make the room into a better space for all of them? such as wall cubby/underbed organizers, etc.?
Can you put the bunk beds in the family room? If they're only there every other weekend it's not like they need a ton of "space". I'm sure you guys are coming and going a lot so if they share the closet space or perhaps have a dresser in the nursery then they'd be fine.
My younger brother and sister both shared the family room when they were younger because there were 4 of us and only 3 bedrooms in our house.
Don't treat it like they're being downsized though - maybe make up part of the room as a fun space for them - use curtains, a divider or a bookshelf to partition it off and put up some bright decorations for them.
I've tried talking to him today, he still says I'm being unfair to the girls. I really don't see how..
There is plenty of room for them their beds, toys, books, clothes all in the room with the crib and armoire on the other. I just don't see his point.
Now he's on another kick, saying that I'm spoiled and I'm only doing/wanting all of this for myself. Because he and his ex-wife never had this much stuff for the 2 girls.
I didn't think I was asking for too much. Ugh. I'm over this drama. I'm just gonna let him figure it all out, he's stressing me out too much.
Thank you all for your input :)
@StbHisMrs: so where does HE think the baby should go? Like you said, let him figure it out if he doesn't want to listen to your solutions.
@hilsy85: Good question! I'll bring the crib home and let him figure it out!
Hmm... I like the family meeting idea, or turning the family room into your stepdaughters' bedroom. It's far better than sharing a room with the newborn (for your girls)-- and better for you while the baby is still waking up in the night.
Since you rent, you can't put up walls or what have you, but you could put up curtains to make it their own space. They're 3 & 6-- so they don't need privacy just yet-- but they do need to feel like they aren't LOSING something because of the baby, or that the baby is getting more than the necessary preferential treatment babies need.
I would put the babys things and the crib in the girls room, BUT when the girls are staying with you, I'd put the baby in your room for naps and overnight. I've been the stepdaughter that only visits on weekends, and my stepmother never made any room for me, and I'd often find my stuff had been tampered with by my step sisters. So please make sure when they are with you they have their own room; don't turn it into a nursery with bunkbeds. Your baby doesn't care where it sleeps, but the girls, especially the older one, will notice if suddenly the new baby arrives and they have to sleep in the lounge room. Their dads house is still their home, even if they don't stay there very often.
I would say move the two girls to the smaller room and put your son and baby (once it is older) in the bigger room with some sort of divider. Since the girls have a space now, I wouldn't move them to the living room. Also, do you know the sex of your baby yet, that might change things too down the road.
I am curious to see what your husband came up with.
Moving the girls never crossed my mind. I'd like for them to have their own space, in their room. Both of the kids rooms are the same size, and we wouldn't be able to move out of the master bedroom and into a smaller room. It really isn't too much bigger but has a WI closet and bathroom that can't be closed off.
We came to an agreement last night, and they will be sharing with the baby. But for the first few months the baby will be in a bassinet in our room for naps and nighttime. All the clothes and furniture will be in their room.
My biggest point was the girls have their own room at their Mom's house, why do we have to displace the baby so that they can have an exclusive space of their own. He finally got my point. We can get all the furniture that they'll need into the space that we have if we're creative about it.
I'll tell you it has been an extreme adjustment for me to go from having an only child for 7 years (he's 9 now) to having 2 stepdaughters and now adding a baby. My life has turned into a whirlwind!
I'm glad you guys came to an agreement but I just wanted to add my two cents...my parents divorced when I was 5, for a while my dad actually lived in him garage (he built an apartment in the back) and my two sisters and I had a bunk bed with a futon bottom - the oldest got the top, my middle sister and I shared the bottom and my dad slept on the couch in the living room. We didn't have Amy clothes or toys, we just brought what we needed for the weekend (we were there every other weekend). It was never a problem, it was almost like camping with Dad.
Then he moved into a 1 br apartment. When we were there my older sisters would share the bed, o slept in a sleeping bag next to the bed, and my dad slept on the couch. We still didn't have any belongings there, would just bring a duffel bag. We would spend the weekend doing stuff with Dad and playing with the dogs.
Then he moved in with his now wife and her two daughters. They each had their own rooms, my sisters and I kept the same situation as the old apartment only in the guest room. Again never a problem.
Then they moved and each of my step sisters got their own bedrooms, my oldest sister slept on a futon in the office and my middle sister and I shared the guest room when we were there. Still just bringing whatever we needed for the weekend. It was literally never a problem.
I guess what I'm trying to say is your husband is WAY over reacting! It's sweet that he wants them to feel at home, but seriously the fact that my dad made sure he had the sugary cereal that I lived for me (that my mom wouldn't let me have ALL the time) made me feel welcome! Lol. And, once the girls get older and start appreciating material things more I'll bet if themes stuff at your house they like they'll try to bring it with them when they leave and they'll just bring the clothes and toys they like at the moment to your house when they're there, so it'll be silly to have tons of storage space for them!
...sorry for the novel, lol...
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| rachgirl82 | 19 |
| kate02121 | 12 |
| ndreighton | 11 |
| louiseW | 10 |
| ozpeony | 8 |
| cbeyelia | 6 |
| rivierabridal | 6 |
| andielovesj | 5 |
| ladyartichoke | 5 |
| crazyinlove | 5 |
Sorry, there are no users yet.
This is kinda long, sorry.
I don't know where to put the baby. I thought I had the kids sleeping arrangements thought out well. Apparently I'm wrong.
Can I get your help before I delve into what happened last night?
Here's the space we have:
1750 sq ft.
3 bdrms (including the master all are pretty small)
living room
dining room
family room off kitchen
My son has his own room, step-daughters (which we have every other weekend) have their room with a bunkbed that I just bought. I sold SD's bed (son's old bed) that had drawers underneath for clothes. Bought the bunkbed set it up, bought a bookcase and filled it up, but they don't have a dresser. They have all their tops hanging in the closet (without any spare room to hang anything else), I have a closet organizer that I thought would work perfectly in their closet with some totes to fold their jeans, shorts, pj's, socks, and undies.
That would solve having to buy a dresser, and save some room for the ikea cubby for their toys.
My son's room is full. Twin bed, dresser, bookcase, ikea cubby for toys, plastic bin in his closet for toys, guitar, and a chair. His closet isn't as full as theirs, but it's getting there probably will be after school shopping.
Where do I put the baby's stuff? The pack 'n play will go in our room for the first couple months. What about the crib, and the armoire that I bought to hang and fold all of her clothes and store diapers/wipes?
Where would you put that? What room should she share?
I'd like to get opinions before I get into what I think will work and what my husband thinks is fair...