Where do I start with wedding planning

posted 3 years ago in Beehive
Post # 2
Member
498 posts
Helper bee

Fantastic post. I’m in the same situation. I hope people post here and we get some answers lol. Thank you for the thread, it’s much needed for some. I’m at a total loss and plan on planning while going thru treatment beginning at the end of June since I’ll be so sick and unable to do much anyways outside my home.

Megsky:  

Post # 3
Member
3941 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Megsky:   As far as a date, we started with our photographers to see when they were available, then asked our venue.  When we had a set of eight free weekends in hand from them, we contacted our family and closest friends to see when they would be available to attend.  Then we checked our local calendar of events to see about graduations, festivals, any big events which could take up lots of hotel space.  

Where to start on the wedding – toss about ideas with your FI, think about the level of formality, what places are special to you, will it accomodate your guests, is the food good, how far to travel and parking, does it fot your budget, think about the photos years down the line, what do you want your memories to be, that sort of thing.  Enjoy!!  

Post # 4
Member
432 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

For picking a date, we decided what season we wanted the wedding in, then I looked at a calender to see when I’d be having my period and we planned the wedding for a date when I knew I wouldn’t be on it for the wedding and honeymoon.  The next thing you need to do is figure out the guest list because the number of people you invite could dictate what venue you choose.  Some places are only able to accomodate a smaller amount of people, and some places are so huge that it would seem empty if you weren’t having a big wedding.  Other things will start to fall into place once you have the venue picked out, like flowers and other decor, the dress, the food (some venues have a list of approved caterers you have to choose from) etc. 

Post # 4
Member
1040 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I would start with getting a rough idea about the sort of wedding you want – big, small, formal, casual, DIY, destination etc. Then figure out your budget and make a rough guest list so that you have a rough head count. From there you can figure out what you can afford (there are multiple wedding budget apps out there can can help you get a rough idea of what to spend in each area, but remember you can always tweak it to suit you).  

 

When booking things, i would look at venues first. The date is going to depend on how much time you need to save/plan, what season you want to have it in, and what’s available at your venue. Weekdays are often cheaper than weekends, but not as convenient, so you have to decide whether the savings are worth the hassle (for me it wasn’t). 

Post # 6
Member
405 posts
Helper bee

With your FI, do the following: <br /><br />1. Make a budget.  How much can you afford/want to spend?<br /><br />

2. Some lists: Who do you ‘have to’ have there (ie. you wouldn’t want your parents to miss your wedding day, etc.)?  Who would you like to have there?  And who would you invite if you have the space and money?

3. Make a list of all the things of a wedding (ie. photography, venue, dress, etc.) and value them with a number (ie. number one is the most important, etc.).

4.  What kind of wedding do you want?  A big Saturday night party with lots of dancing?  A nice little brunch?  Etc.

Post # 7
Member
498 posts
Helper bee

doeydo:  aliciaspinnet:  idoalterations:  Astra:  Very helpful and Im sorry if my next question is out of line, but I dont know anyone who has had a small wedding unfortunatly. What is the cheapest end you can do a wedding? Any suggestions on a small cheep wedding if I decided not to just go to the court house and call it a day? (That was the original plan, but now Im seconding guessing this) Id like to at least maybe have a very small and simple wedding in my home area. I was wondering if anyone knew what the cost would be roughly and some ideas for this? I have to go thru chemo starting around the end of june next month (Waiting on some lab work still befor hand) once I go in June 27th They are going to tell me how bad the situation is and how aggressive the treatment will need to be and for how long. Im hoping to use this time Im home sick to plan a small simple affordable wedding as someting to keep me in good spirts and occupied. Hopefully take my mind off how sick Ill be from treatment! This being said I have no where to get info from people because unlike me, My family all has Huge incomes and could do whatever they wanted. (Even if I did too  I think Id still want small and as simple as I could while affordable at a reasonable price) So any info or advice is welcomed and I wont feel your imposing, over stepping, being nebby or such!!! Thank you all in advanced! 🙂

Post # 8
Member
432 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Totalkaos1983:  Aside from having the wedding in someone’s backyard, you could rent out an area at a park.  I did that and it only cost me $35.  Instead of doing dinner afterwards it could just be cake and punch.  Play music from a CD/MP3 player, have a friend become ordained online to marry you, buy your dress secondhand or wear a bridesmaid dress or formal gown instead of an actual wedding dress, buy some flowers at the grocery store for your bouquet, hire an amature photographer or one who wants to expand their portfolio… I’m sure I’m missing some things but all this could probably be like $2,000 or less. 

Post # 9
Member
498 posts
Helper bee

idoalterations:  I really like this, Could I trouble you to make me a very detailed dummy list to follow as some of my medications affect my memory and my detail, orginizing skills and I get frustrated and confused very easy with out list, details on it and reminders. Id so apreciate it. If you dont mind then please take your time and do it on your time! Im in no rush or hurry. Im not demanding either, especially when someones willing to help me out and it only benifits me lol!!!

Post # 10
Member
432 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Totalkaos1983:  

1. SMALL guest list

2. Backyard or park venue (preferably one with picnic tables)

3. Cake and punch reception (paper plates and plastic flatware/cups)

4. DIY music (CD player or MP3 with speakers)

5. Secondhand dress or bridesmaid/formal gown

6. Ordain a friend to officiate

7. Marriage license!

8. Grocery store flowers

9. Amature photographer or friend taking pictures

10. DIY hair and makeup

11. Husband wears suit he already has or borrows from friend

12. Don’t worry about decorations, they’re just fluff, but you could put more grocery store flowers on each picnic table.

13. Invitations could be your biggest expense so if you really want to cheap out, you could send out e-mail invites.  Make a free wedding website at the Knot.com and give everyone the URL. 

Honestly I think those are really the bare minimum things you need to have a decent, non-courthouse wedding. 

Post # 12
Hostess
9907 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

We started with the guest list and then selected the city (we had 4 to choose from).

We chose a season (there wasn’t a specific date that mattered to us) and then started looking for venues that met our ridiculous list of criteria (We wanted outsite ceremony & inside reception but with a nice indoor rain backup for the ceremony, wanted to be the only wedding on site that day and I can go on and on and on).

It took a lot of hunting but we found a great venue and then picked a date from what they had available. 

From there we looked at Caterers, Photographers and so on down the list.

Post # 13
Member
405 posts
Helper bee

If you don’t have your wedding during a meal time, then you can have a ‘cake and punch’ reception, a dessert reception, or an appetizers and cocktail reception.  Also, having your wedding not on a Saturday can be very cost effective.  If you do want to serve your guests a full meal, breakfast, lunch, or brunch would be the cheapest.  Or, you can do a dinner but just have a small guest list or do it very casual with sandwhiches, soups, and whatever that you could either make beforehand or get from a grocery store.  Remember, all that you “need” for a wedding is the couple (yourself and your FI), an officiant, marriage license, two witnesses (depending on where you live, I suppose), and some kind of refreshments for any guests you choose to have. 

Post # 14
Member
1236 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - San Francisco, CA

We picked a date semi-arbitrarily that was in the correct season for the weather to be nice (very limited options) and was not a holiday. Then went budget, guest number, and venue, in that order. Now that all of that is nailed down, FI and I are dividing and conquering … we divvied up the tasks (photographer! rehearsal dinner caterer! officiant! etc) 50/50 and have been having a weekly  meeting to present all our findings and make decisions. After the guest number and venue, which were very sticky issues for family reasons, everything else is going really smoothly.

Post # 15
Member
2421 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

Megsky:  We figured out what time of year we wanted to get married (winter).  Then we looked at my work weekends, flights (our guests are overseas), school breaks and what not and came up with a weekend that worked.  So that was our date.  You could pick a date that means something to you.  Or a random one.  Or go with an idea of a couple of months and let the venue availability decide.  I’ve found its WAY easier to be flexible than to decide everything before meeting with vendors.  I go in with a general idea and then we hammer out details.  Sometimes the vendors present things I never would have thought of and we run with it! 

I’d also narrow down the kind of wedding you want.  Big? Small?  Evening, Afternoon, Brunch?  What kind of reception?  Ball room?  Restaurant? Barn? Tent out doors?  

And then what’s your budget?  How much are you comfortable spending (you may find you change ideas on the other two when you find out what things cost.)  

I’d also draw up a guest list.  I know some people would disagree with it at this point.  But it was important to us to know how many people we were inviting and that the venue could hold everyone and that we could afford to pay for everyone.  We thought we’d invite 150, we’re actually over 200.  It wasn’t until we wrote down names that we realized the actual numbers. 

Our first steps were to visit venues and get that done (included the bar and caterer.)  Once that was figured out I just researched things as I went.  Say today I’m looking at flowers, I got an idea of what I liked, spoke to my florist, got an idea of what things would cost and then we went from there. 

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