Post # 1
I am NOT a good air-travel person…so far, I can do a 45 minute flight and only have an anxiety attack if it’s bumpy. My fiance and I are starting to entertain honeymoon options, and every time he mentions Hawaii or something, I basically throw up and panic. He likes to travel, and I’m not so good at it…what can we do so that we both have a good time?
Post # 3
How about a road trip!
Some girls have done road trips where they stop at spots along the way and stay at B&Bs. I think that’s super romantic!
If he wants a beach there are lots of really nice beaches in the US as well, albeit not Hawaii. 😀
Post # 4
@FutureMrsBPB: Have you tried working through your fear of flying? Maybe talking to a therapist or getting some Valium (or some other calming agent).
You could drive down to the outer banks. Or take a long road trip down to FL.
Post # 5
i agree with @KatNYC2011. one of my friends is terrified of flying and she was able to get through her flight with either a sleeping pill or some anti-anxiety medication. just a thought…
Post # 6
Take a train ride around the states and see the gorgeous countryside most people miss. You’ll get your own sleeper together, and get to stop at any location, especially if you buy the month pass, then you just hop back on the train when you’re ready to travel again.
Post # 7
I was just about to post about this. I am already crying my eyes out over having to fly somewhere and my wedding is next year. I hate to fly I hate it hate it hate it…I am so super claustrophobic…My FI wants to travel the world, and I just know that this is going to bring nothing but problems to our marriage…I almost wanna call this off after the fight we got in tonight…so anyway I feel your pain. I wanted to go to the Inner Harbor for a romantic 4 day weekend and he says that is stupid..so IDK either!!
Post # 8
These are all great ideas! I do have a small dose of xanax that my doctor gave me if I need it (i have an anxiety disorder that I have to take medicine for, so I can’t dope myself up too much just to get on a plane haha), so that’s an option if we decide to fly somewhere far. We’re also kicking around the idea of a cruise, as it’s something that both of us have never done as well!
Post # 9
If you really have a hard time flying, don’t do it! I also hate to fly and can’t imagine anything worse than dreading my honeymoon b/c of the flights involved. We’re taking a road trip and I’m so excited. The good thing is MD is within driving distance of some awesome spots.
Or like another bee said, a train ride is classic and romantic. A cruise is a great idea too!
Post # 10
A cruise sounds like a great idea! If you catch one that goes down to the Caribbean, he’d get his beaches and you wouldn’t have to get on a plane.
Hope y’all find a compromise that works!
Post # 11
I feel ya. I DO NOT like to fly. Clausterphobic + anxiety = no fun! We’re doing a ‘mini-moon’ (due to budget and work schedules) to a little getaway about 3 hours driving distance. We decided we can spend more money on food and fun when we get there and not on airfare. See if there’s somewhere you can drive to and spend your money on luxurious lodging and meals.
Post # 12
I agree with most of the other posts about trains/cruises so that you don’t have to worry for your honeymoon, but that’s only going to get you so far and it sounds like your FI has some wanderlust which would eventually require plane travel. I just want to share my experience because I used to have a MAJOR fear of flying. I did the whole vallum/pyschologist thing without any progress. What got me over the hump was actually sitting down and talking to a commercial airline pilot. Most of my fear revolves around heights/bumps/falling (I hATE! that sinking feeling you get in the pit of your stomach) and so I would have irrational nightmares about the plane and what would happen. I basically ran through all of my nightmare scenarios with the pilot and learned just how silly some of them were. I didn’t realize how many backup/redundant systems there are on commercial airplanes and just how malleable the wings are in order to absorb shock (i.e. more likely that they’d bend up and touch each other than snap off). So that would be my first suggestion.
My second suggestion is to figure out if you have any sort of comfort zone on planes. I feel MUCH safer on larger jets than puddle-jumpers. Basically, the bigger the commercial plane you get on, the higher they fly and usually the smoother your ride will be. So if you want to compromise with your FI I would actually suggest going for LONGER, INTERNATIONAL flights rather than shorter flights because you will actually find them to be less scary–less turbulence, more people on the plane so it will feel more social, the plane itself usually feels better constructed because they tend to be newer jets, there’s very often now very good entertainment systems, and of course free booze if you use a non-american airline usually!
I know just how tough it is to get over a fear, but there is nothing like international plane travel. Within hours you can literally be looking at the Sphinx or the Great Wall or laying on a beach in Greece. And even the discomfort I still feel (now mostly just at takeoff and landing) are always worth it. Good luck!
Post # 13
Glad you posted this, good to know I am not alone! I am petrified of flying and get a lot of anxiety about travel in general. FI and I went to Spain last year and I was so worked up about it that I dreaded the trip to the point of having stomach troubles the weeks beforehand. But, obviously, we had a great time and sometimes I actually want to go back- we are even considering Italy for our honeymoon.
What helped me was a few things: on the actual flight, a couple Xanax and wine (ask your doc before you start mixing lol) and then in the weeks leading up, I was googling “get over fear of flying” and came across a bible quote (Psalm 112:7-8) and when I read it I strangely felt a LOT better, I’m not necessarily super religious but it really made me feel better.
I still get a little worked up, I’m going away with 15 friends in August and my mind’s already doing the “what-if” stuff. But the trips have always been worth it! My FI likes to travel and I don’t think it’s fair that my personal anxieties should impact his life and prevent him from doing stuff. Even if you’re terrified, you won’t regret going! Since you live in Maryland, why not try something Caribbean? That way he gets his tropical Hawaii style fix, but the flights are still pretty short for you- so many Caribbean places are like, 2 or 3 hours from you. That’s not too bad, definitely better than 10 hours and a flight change to Hawaii.