Post # 1
My SO and I were talking about potential places for our future, his work moved him to California/Arizona border (near Mexico) and while we’re looking to move back to either Mass. or Texas (where both of us are from.) We find ourselves realizing more and more that we might end up living in San Deigo for the rest of our lives. I know, you’re thinking “how sad.” I know it’s a beautiful place.. but I cant help but wonder if we’ll be happy so far away from our families? We both grew up being very involved with our families but I know that utlimately being with him is what will make me the most happy.. and eventually we will have our own family.
I am just wondering who else out there has been in a situation like this? Even if you havent, what’s your situaton? Do you wish it was different?! Advice please bees! : )
Post # 3
i come from an area where people don’t really leave lol.
I live 4 minutes away from the house I grew up in. I like it that way. I am close to my family and DH’s parents live down the street. The majority of our relatives are close by. My best friend moved across the country and is just one of those people who want to tackle life’s challenges, which is great. But my mentality is that I’m happy and comfortable where I am
Post # 4
Military brat. I have family in England, Japan, Kansas, Arizona, Pennsylvania, North Carolina…you get the idea (and I bought a house in Maryland). The only time I’ve wished it was different is now that we’re planning a wedding. Most of our HUGE family won’t be able to attend due to distance/cost. Otherwise, it’s been fine. You get used to it over time. It’s hard to tell until you’ve done it though. I’ve NEVER had an issue being states or continents away from family. My SO however moved to CA, far away from family, when he was younger and missed not having family and friends with him. Keeping in contact over the phone, email, mail, whatever, helps a lot. I’m sure you’ll figure out what is best for you. It’s not the easiest decision but it’s smart that you’re considering it.
Post # 5
We’re from MA and TX too! He’s from TX and we ended up here in MA. We’re about 40 minutes from where I grew up. Settling down close to family was very inportant to me. I was also a bit selffish in that I wanted to be near my family, especially since my mom could baby sit for us when we have children which would save a ton in child care cost.. but we’re also sort of paying for it if we look at housing cost in TX vs MA. 🙁
Post # 6
I live way too far from my family :'(
Fiance and I grew up in NJ, we live in Chicago right now because I’m in grad school out here. 4 years of college out of state, 5 years of grad school in a different time zone. When I graduate next summer we’re hoping to move back to the East Coast and be able to be close enough to our families to take a train to visit. I want to be within 3 hours of our families (which luckily includes 5 major cities I’d be fine living in), close enough to visit frequently/for an overnight trip at the last minute….not so close we get an Everybody Loves Raymond issue with his parents…
Post # 7
We are currently 14 hours from my home town, 20 hours for Fiance by car. We don’t get out there much. Right now, it’s not too bad, but I don’t look forward to having kids here by ourselves. I want the family support network for that! It’s been pretty tough with FI’s son and no family near when he gets sick, has days off school, or we all just need a break from each other. So if you are planning kids, think hard about it, if you have a good network of friends locally, you will probably be ok, we don’t so it makes it really hard.
Post # 8
- Wedding: September 2016 - tbd
I am less than 5 minutes from where I grew up…sometimes happy about it sometimes not. My kids go to the same elementary I did.
Post # 9
I also grew up in an area where people mostly stuck around. I hear stories of everyone running into each other at the store, kids having classes together, etc. And I was always very close to my family as well. But we moved from Indiana to Washington for the military, so there is a pretty big gap between us now (err…2500 miles). In ways, it is rough because I do miss our families and just going over to hang out whenever…also the strange feeling of going back home after a year or more of being gone and seeing how things (and people) have changed or aged is a little sad. But there are perks! In general, we don’t have to worry about in-laws popping up unannounced if the house is dirty, nor do we have to argue about whose side we’ll be spending holidays at each time one rolls around.
I will be sad when we start to have kids and their grandparents aren’t around to see them growing up, however. 🙁
Post # 10
Its about a 19hr. drive home for me! Eventually I’d like to move closer to home. I’m a southern girl at heart & I really miss the deep south. Not sure if I’ll ever convince my SO to move down south. He hates it down there.
Post # 11
My fiancé and I actually live about 5 minutes from my parents in the same city. I love this part of the city so that’s why we bought here!
Post # 12
We currently live in the same hometown as our families BUT we plan to move to Texas next year where I think I have one distant relative…?
So I’m ok with living far away. But not forever. I kinda always expect to come back home someday. I’m just not ready to settle down yet, in that sense anyway.
Post # 13
SO has always lived about an hour away from where he grew up, all around the Philly suburbs. Obviously, I live here now, too.
I grew up in Oklahoma, have lived in Massachusetts and the DC area before moving here with him. His family is pretty much all here. Mine lives all across the country from Hawaii to Tennessee to Virginia – obviously with some still in Oklahoma. No one in my family thinks much about moving to a new region because we can still communicate often and visit each other from time to time.
Post # 14
We live about 7 hours from friends and family. I miss being more involved, being able to go to the movies or grab a cup of coffee with a friend. Holidays are terrible because we end up choosing between his family and mine, and whoev we don’t pick always gives us hell for it. ai really am terrified about the idea of kids because right now, I can drive home to visit about once a month, but I have no idea how often I’d be able to do that with kids.
Post # 15
@bearlove: You’re like my twin! I grew up in NJ and I’m in NW Indiana for undergrad. Fiance is from one town over in NJ and has been in NWI for undergrad and law school. We will move to the east coast for my grad school because there aren’t any schools with the right program out here. But then we plan on moving to the chicago area. We like it out here. And I like seeing my parents a couple times a year and talking on the phone the rest of the time. I need some personal space :). My older brother is in Texas, but he is in the military so he will move wherever they tell him to. My aunts and uncles are all over the place. I don’t think we will allever live in the same state again, but we never had relatives living nearby when I was growing up, so it seems normal that we would spread out.
Post # 16
@Excited To Bee: aww i live in san diego, born and raised, and Fiance is from, well north carolina technically i guess. lol but my family lives here and chicago. his family here and ohio.