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Ok, I have said this before and I will say it again - I'm watching Platinum Weddings right now and I don't freaking get it!! For example:
Super expensive super rare flowers that only grow halfway around the world flown in just for your centerpieces vs. local seasonal flowers - who would know the difference? They both look like flowery centerpieces.
Thousands of dollars worth of real diamonds vs. costume jewelry from Macy's - who would know the difference?
$10,000 (I kid you not,) hand beaded tablecloths vs., I don't know, $10 machine beaded ones - who would ever know the difference?
A $20,000 designer dress that looks pretty much like a $1,000 dress - who would...ok, ok, you get my point. To me it's kind of like buying a $500 designer white tee shirt. Maybe in a few circles people would notice, but by and large, who knows it's not from Target?
On the other hand, there are some cool things that DO make an actual difference, i.e., great food, fun venues, etc.
Which made me ponder - of the things you pay for, what do you think actually adds to the overall 'experience' of your wedding vs. being a sort of 'name brand only' luxury?
LOL at the table cloths and flowers - to each their own I guess?
Our splurge list is as follows:
-venue
-food
-dress
-photographer
-DOC (not that it's expensive, just that I hadn't originally budgeted for it.)
Our scrimp list is:
-video (we're having a friend tape)
-alcohol (Binny's!)
-decorations (I'm DIYing a lot)
-cake (I'm hopefully making it)
-invites and STDs (I'm planning on DIY or bargain hunting)
I hear ya girl!
At first, I was like "I have GOT to buy me a designer gown, no matter the cost!" but then I was like..who is really going to know it's designer. Only I will know how much the dress cost. So now I'll prob buy my dress from Davids Bridal since they have a gorgeous line out for '10
the only thing I think I would spend good money for is the food and photography! Everything else, eh...it can be generic.
I think food, drink, and entertainment are vital for the overall experience--both for the bride and groom, and for the guests. You can definitely tell sub-par food from great food.Not so necessary? I agree, that the type of flowers doesn't add much--but I think the way they are arranged does add to the experience.
I think for the people on Platinum Weddings, they don't even think about getting a $1k dress. It's not like they went shopping at David's Bridal--they probably only checked out designer places, high end florists, etc. So of course they're going to end up spending more, because it's not necessary for them to bargain shop/cut corners.
AGREED! here is our splurg list:
food
Venue
officiant (flying him and wife in and making the biggest donation we can afford at the time)
Ketubah (Jewish marriage contract)
DJ
our priorities are ppl having a good time and celebrating the REAL meaning of getting married; our love and commitment to each other and God.. :D
I am not by any means phased by designer duds or flashy. To me if you can accomplish the same look for less by all means go for it!!!! My only real splurge is the plated dinner and open bar for our guests. I want them to have a lot of fun and enjoy great food. I worked at a flower shop for a few years and I am getting ready to start back to work there because I am moving back to Oklahoma and I will be doing all the centerpieces myself and 2 of my BM's are florists and we are doing all the ceremony flowers and to me no one will ever know that I didnt drop big $$ on all this stuff.
I'm nowhere near getting married yet ha, but definitely for me it would be food, photographer (Max Wanger I drool), and venue. Everything else I could careless, and I don't think anyone else would either. It's none of their business whether I went to Walmart or Macys..whether my dress is preowned or new. I'm big on pictures so a great photographer would be one of the most important things for me and so forth..
I agree, I don't really understand what the difference is between flashy flowers and table clothes versus a cheaper stand in, but to each their own. I don't think that much of our wedding is necessarily a "splurge" because we looked for the best deals possible but there are definitly some things that were more important than others like:
-Photography
-Food (got a great BBQ place for a steal!)
-Alcohol
-DJ
I cut corners with:
-Invites and decor
Most of that I am DIY-ing and trying to cut back on.
Food, venue, open bar :) Photographer is a bit of a splurge but nothing crazy.
And re: Platinum Weddings, people who are that ridiculously wealthy spend on unnecessary things because they can...saving money just isn't a goal for many of those brides, but having the best of everything is. Hence the imported flowers and designer gowns.
I have to disagree with the designer gown. Sorry but i can tell the difference.. Sure there are beautiful dresses for less, and some designer gowns are over priced, but when someone is wearing a beautiful desinger gown you can tell!
I think its a waste to spend alot of money on:
-invites(theyll just be thrown away)
-Save the dates
-linens
-a band( unless they are well known most people enjoy a dj more IMO)
Things worth money
-a beautiful designer gown
-food
- an excellent photographer
-
Splurge:
Dress
Suit
Venue
Food
Photographer
Bands
Flowers
Invites
Splurge on the elements that you and/or your guests will remember: food/drink, entertainment, photography. Everything else is fluff. Sit down with your fiance and decide what you can't live without and what isn't important to you. Everyone has their own priorities, so beyond the three main elements listed above, it's entirely up to your budget and preferences as far as the rest goes. Just make sure that your guests are not inconvenienced in any way or placed in awkward/embarrassing situations and that they do not have to open their wallets at the wedding for any reason.
You are so beyond correct - WHO KNOWS THE DIFFERENCE AND DETAILS UNLESS YOU TELL THEM.......To stand apart and what guests will take away and remember we splurged on:
We're splurging on bathrooms! We have to rent porta-potties, so we're doing the trailer with two bathrooms with flush toilets, running water, and lights.
We're keeping everything pretty cheap, but not cutting corners on food and alcohol.
well im a cheap person... is not in quality, what i mean is if i can get something for less why will i pay more??
keep in mind im in a tight budget
my splurges are:
food: feeding 60 people buffet style $400.00
alcohol with bartender: $350
honey moon: we are trying to cost a cruise and it will cost $1,700
im cheap on:
decoration: doing everything myself
dress: trying to get there under $200
venue: at my inlaws
flowers: fake one and doing everything myself
I'm with laylabelle! I tried to skimp everywhere I could! We're paying a little more for food and alcohol than we originally planned so I suppose you can call that our splurge :)
These things were all super important to me, but I found a way to get what I wanted at a great price!
dress $100 (a designer dress, but I got it at an outlet)
photographer $800 (famous guy but also a really good friend doing us a HUGE favor)
Flowers about $100 (natural touch fake flowers. they look real and I get to keep them!)
for me i'm trying to skimp everywhere that I can, honestly since I cannot afford a 6k dress, I'd rather just have a preowned one lol!!! Things that are a splurge to me:
FOOD!!! The golf course is actually probably a sort of splurge all though our date allows us more luxuries. I cannot say enough for day time weekday weddings. I think we're having like a 15 or 20k wedding (including what I've diy'd etc) for about 5k.
I totally agree with the sentiment of the OP's post, though I disagree with particulars. I think you can tell the difference between fake and real bling. But if you want bling, rent it! Same with the quality of fabric in a tablecloth, if that is important to you, rent it! If you want a couture style dress, you aren't going to get it for $1000, but between pre-owned dresses and little-known designers, there is no need to pay $20,000. Mine is much less, but is handcrafted for my body (no need for a bra even) with exquisite fabric for a fraction of the cost for well-known designer.
But in the long run, it only makes sense to splurge on what you will really enjoy. I personally can't imagine $10,000 tablecloths bringing real joy to my life. I can see a difference in $5 cotton and $40 rental silk ones, but whatever actually makes a difference for you, there is a way to make it happen.
@monita, unless you are jeweler with their specialized equipment, no one can tell the difference with the naked eye. Even with the equipment, you have to know what to look for, which the average customer does not. Consumers only care if it's big and sparkly and hardly anyone is able to tell the difference between real and fake. Also, using your example of linens, your guests don't care what they are made of.
But if you splurge on stuff for yourself, what about your guests? Do they matter at all? It doesn't make sense to splurge on something for yourself and leave them in the cold by being a poor hostess and giving them the crumbs of whatever it is you're looking at. But there are people who do that.
We're skimping as much as we can. We're splurging on our reception site/food/decor. Everything is done on site so it's all one fee and by having an off season wedding and booking early, we were able to get almost $5000 off their usual minimum. So our one big splurge is really not, but no one will know.
It's a matter of priority and our priority was to have an amazing night, plain and simple. Our splurges-venue, band, photography and lighting and decor. We want our guests to know how much they are loved and how much we love them and we want it documented well. I don't know that we skimped anywhere, but I was careful in spending on stationary, my dress, cut out transportation and cut back on the florals.
In my opinion, there's nothing like live music and for us, it's a nice treat to be able to offer our guests.
Skimp:
-Save the date
-Invites
-Programs
-Flowers
-Centerpiece
-Shoes & hair accessories (no one can see shoes under dress, no one can see the difference between normal rhinestone vs Swarovski crystal on your hair)
-Linens (guests will just spill food on it anyways)/chair covers (we're not having any chair covers)
-Videographer (not having any)
-Wedding ring (fiance and I want something simple)
Splurge:
-Venue
-Food & alcohol
-DJ
-Dress
-Honeymoon
-Suit
-Photographer
-Gifts for wedding party
I would say that I'm definitely a budget bride! I bargain hunt for everything--I was given a higher budget by my parents, but I don't want them to spend more to have the same kind of wedding feel I was going for. I'm doing a lot of DIY, but I also know my way around a crafts table.
Splurge: Venue, photography, food
Save: Cake (it's still delicious, but the baker isn't from a bakery), flowers, dress/outfit, food, photography, decor, rentals (not doing chiavari chairs!), videography (not having it), alcohol (Costco, baby!), faux-tobooth
Yeah, some of those things are in two categories, it's because they are amazing vendors who are doing the work for a lower price, mostly because they're starting out or moved into the area,and some others are lower priced because they're non-commercial.
Hi Selene,
I probably wasn't clear, I was making the point that costume jewelry and real jewelry do look different. Weight, quality of color (particularly yellow gold), type of sparkle, etc. There are cetrainly VERY nice fakes, but they usually cost, and I assume that is not what she meant by costume jewelry. I am not asserting that a $500 CZ necklace can't hold up to a $10,000 real, but that a $30 one can't. I myself own plenty of costume jewelry, and I don't think any of it holds up to my real stuff.
I don't think I was making a point about whether guests care what the linens are made out of, but if you are going for an expensive look, there are less expensive ways to achieve it. If, for example, you are going for a modern, minamilist look, the $40 table cloth may make sense for you. It will do a lot to actually complete the look. The same can be said for any number of look choices. For some designs, basic chairs are fine, but in others chiavari completes it. Same for flower choices. Or china. Etc. For some weddings, paper plates make perfect sense. It depends on what you are going for.
My guests are well cared for, thank you.
Skimp: STDs, Invites (both DIY & multimedia), flowers (friendor), hair & make-up (family-dor for all my ladies), dance floor (not having one), music (iPod), food (by having excellent appetizers for one reception & brunch food for other reception)
Splurge: VENUE (only Disney can provide Disney), favors (Disneyland tickets), guest plusses (characters come to reception), having two weddings (because you CAN have a Catholic wedding AND an outdoor wedding if both are really important to you)
Basically splurging on treating our nearest & dearest, & accommodating God (because if He can give me His only Son, I can have a wedding according to the Church's expectations).
Our splurge:
Live band for our wedding
Music at our Catholic wedding
Food
Open bar
Convenient reception location for our guests
honeymoon
Our savings:
our reception venue
my dress
fiance's tux (he owns)
invitations (brother designed)
flowers (budget)
cake (budget)
guest list (limited)
My biggest splurge was dress, photographer, venue and food. Planning is difficult and staying in budget even more. Dont spend so much on linens think about spills.
I think people really stress themselves out about designer. They need to have the designer dress, shoes, etc in order to feel good. It's entirely in their own heads as honestly, I don't think other people really notice or care (and if they do they are just shallow really). I didn't get a designer gown... or shoes. I think I will feel just as good in my dress.
I don't think I splurged on anything necessarily--but I didn't cheap-out either. I think you can get a great photographer without getting the best. I think people always have it in their minds that more money = better quality.. and maybe it's not always true...
My list is very similar to Hazel920s:
Skimp:
-Save the dates (we did postcards)
-Invites (debating this!)
-Programs (DIY)
-Flowers (definitely not cheap, but within budget)
-Shoes & veil (my veil is my something old, and was free!)
-Linens (comes with venue; choice of chocolate brown or ivory)
-Videographer (not having any)
Splurge:
-Venue (which includes food and alcohol - more than 50% of our budget)
-Chiavari chairs...sigh
-DJ
-Dress
-Honeymoon
-Photographer
We spurgled on: venue + food, photography + videography + event coordinator
Things we will skimp on: save the dates, transportation, hotel...so far :)
I guess you could say our venue is one of the biggest splurges (but we got it for an amazing price that is actually less than any of the other venues we toured)...my dress was over budget so that will be a big splurge. Also, the photographer is a huge splurge for us.
The main thing we are skimping on are flowers (DIY centerpieces) and linens (making them instead of renting)!
Here's my no. 1 splurge and the only one that makes anything else what it can be.
PHOTOGRAPHER.
I can cut down the number of flowers in the centerpiece or my bouquet, but the photog can make it look more grand.
I can serve good food that keeps people full and feeling grand, but it may not be prime rib. And, I'll barely get to eat it, my guests will barely remember it, and regardless of leftovers, I won't see it.
Basically, I can cut down on everything if need be, but, in the end, even the dress is going to go in a box, shoved in a closet, or what have you. The ONLY thing that will hold value of it's price AND hold the value of your entire wedding bill is your images.
Splurging on the venue, food, drinks, photographer
Skimping on paper products (DIYing), trying to keep the flowers as low costs as possible.
It seems like a lot of people assume that if you splurge on certain items, such as flowers, the dress, accessories, that automatically means that you're less concerned with your guests' comfort. In my experience, the brides who DO spend upwards of 5k on their dresses aren't the ones whose guests run out of food, don't have a place to sit, etc. The brides that can spend the money to splurge on things that other people don't important generally have the money to take care of their guests as well. I doubt any of the guests at a Platinum Wedding are having a mediocre time :)
I think when you're having a party the most important thing is to give everyone a really good time! So we splurged on food, drink and entertainment. Our DJ was about 3x what we wanted to spend, but he is a dj, steel drum player and acoustic guitar player. We skimped on our outfits, (my dress was $200, FI's suit was $150), decorations and favors. all of that stuff is going to be DIY'd.
Our biggest splurge is our photographer. We easily doubled our budget there, but I am really excited about it and was totally OK when I signed the contract. I also ended up splurging on my wedding dress a bit and a DOC.
Everywhere else, we've been going with the cheapest option, which is OK because we've seen everyone's work and know that they're good.
I agree with most of the things that I have been brought up, but I do want to refute one point that I've seen a couple of times: the people who talk about not wearing designer seem to think that the brides who do want to wear designer either a) do it because of what other people think/see or b) do it at the expense of the guests.
Now, I don't even have my dress and shoes picked out yet, but I do know where I'm looking: the higher end places like Vera Wang, Carolina Herrara, Christos, etc. Does that mean I'm going to pay full price for the dress? No, I have no qualms with buying used or a sample. But if I had more money I would consider buying it new. Even so, my dress will probably cost $2,000 or more plus alterations. But that doesn't mean that my guests will suffer: I am still going to put lots of time and effort into the rest of my wedding. If my budget was $1,500 lower, would you say I was skimping on the comfort of my guests? No, you'd say that I could make it work with personal touches and smart choices.
Bottom line: the dress (and other details) that you should splurge or save on are really unique to you, as are your reasons for doing so. I really think this was a good post, and everyone is definitely entitled to their opinion, but please don't forget that to some people designer dresses aren't about status or the name brand, they're about how they make the bride feel. I don't care if no one knows who my dress is made by, and I don't care if it's made by a very talented local designer or a big name - that wouldn't change how I would go about shopping for it. There's this misconception out there that the shoes and the dress are an either or: a status symbol, or smart savings - and I just don't buy that line of thinking.
I think if, like hilsy85 said, you have brides spending a ton of $$ on the whole wedding, then splurging on the dress (or anything else) is not a big deal. I think we would agree that if you have the money, and your guests are well provided for, it's not anyone's business how much you spend on your dress, shoes, etc.
What really bothers me are brides who splurge on a designer dress while feeding their guests appetizers only instead of a full meal. Or doing an iPod reception instead of a DJ. I know designer dresses can make you feel really good, but what about your guests' feelings?
I think it comes down to whether you view a wedding as the bride's pretty princess day or a social affair where the bride is first and foremost a hostess with a responsibility to make her guests comfortable. I tend to agree with the latter idea.
When we made our priority list we decided to splurge on the venue, photography, and the honeymoon. However, since we're not going with a traditional wedding venue it was surprisingly inexpensive and and I bartered with my photographer so we are getting a great rate (in exchange for some of my graphic design services).
We splurged on:
a live band
open bar
food
designer dress (which I got a good deal on)
Where we cut expenses:
simple flowers, in season (using bud vases instead of large arrangements)
designing and printing my own invites & save the dates
dessert bar instead of wedding cake
Rehearsal dinner- clambake on our beach instead of a fancy restaurant dinner
Having a fall wedding (instead of summer) reduced many of our costs. Many of our neighbors are loaning us their beach houses for our out of town guests- for free!
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