Post # 1
Where does the MOG get ready? As the bride, I’d really like to just be with my Mom and my girls (one of which is my FSIL). My FI wants to get ready with his guys and his dad only. My parents are divorced, but my Dad won’t be with me while I get ready. He’s agreed to run an errand with me and then will probably hang with his family. My FMIL though has no parents coming to the wedding, just some close friends she thinks of as family. Is it okay to not ask her to get ready with me and for FI to not ask her too? Maybe he can suggest she spend time with her friends?
Post # 2
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
climbergirl: My MIL got ready in her own hotel room and then drove to the ceremony/reception site. I don’t think you or your FI are obligated to ask her to get ready with you. She may want to drop in and say “hi” while you’re getting ready but generally the MOG gets ready off-site and then shows up. She may also choose to get ready with her friends. Who knows? It’s not really your worry unless she asks anyway.
Post # 3
I would just assume she’ll get ready like the other guests: in a hotel room if she’s staying in one, or at home if the wedding is local. I doubt she’ll be offended if she’s not asked to get ready with anyone. That’s really only a big deal for the bridal party.
At least that’s what I thought. I wouldn’t have even thought about it if I were you.
Post # 4
My MIL got ready with us. If her daughter is a bridesmaid, I wouldn’t doubt that she expects to join you.
Post # 6
climbergirl: I would encourage the two of you to give some thought to how this will make the FMIL feel- being all by herself. Can FI’s Dad not get ready with his wife? He could join FI and his groomsmen after he has driven FMIL to the ceremony venue.
Post # 7
I know she wants to get ready with us because she told her daughter who told FI. She hasn’t asked us directly though, so I wanted to know more about etiquette. I don’t want to intentionally disclude someone or seem like a snotty bride. At the same time, some personalities clash and she and I unfortunately clash.
Post # 8
climbergirl: While I haven’t had my wedding yet, the plan is that my FMIL and FFIL will get ready at their house, along with my FI, and then my parents, and I will get ready at my house. I won’t see my in-laws until I’m at church. We won’t take pictures of the parents with both my FI and I until after the ceremony (but I will take pictures with my parents, and my FI with his parents at our respective household earlier that day)
Post # 9
FMIL will be with us girls, getting ready. I’m also paying for her hair/makeup.
Post # 10
Has your FMIL even expressed an interest in getting ready with you? I would have flipped my sh*t if MIL tried to come get ready with me, but that’s an issue for a whole different post. Gauge how she feels before stressing. If you indeed think she’ll want to get ready with you, you need to decide how to handle telling her no. I would enlist your FI in delivering the news, and be firm.
Post # 11
I think since FMIL has expressed an interest in getting ready with you, the gracious thing to do is invite her. It will be a gesture that costs you nothing and could pay off in spades in the long run. If she isn’t your favorite person, leave instructions with you mom and her daughter to keep her busy. I think you have a great chance to take the high road here.
Post # 12
climbergirl: I got ready with my bridesmaids (including DH’s sister) and partially with my mom (she got herself ready in the room she shared with my dad, and the came to help me). My father got ready in the hotel room he was sharing with my mom, DH’s father got ready in the room he was sharing with DH’s step-mom and the MOG got ready with her sister and bestfriend (they were all sharing a room, too). We didn’t have any grandparents at the wedding (deceased). We just figured that she would get ready with whoever she was staying with the night before. And she was so busy getting herself ready, she wouldn’t have had time or space to get ready or hang out with us anyway.
Some girls will probably advise you to be polite and invite her, but my attitude was that I had enough to worry (freak out) about. I didn’t need to make extra accomodations for a grown woman who has lots of friends and family attending the wedding. If she had asked, of course she would have been welcome but my priority had to be DH and I.
Frankly, if your personalities clash, try to avoid it. You don’t need anything else stressing you out.
Post # 15
climbergirl: She gets ready with her husband.
In fact, I think it is unreasonable of your FI to want to get ready with his dad and not his mom. He should either ask both, or neither, in my opinion.