Where from here?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
2571 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Is the new country one with a foreign language?  Start teaching yourself it… Or, a new language altogether.

Take trips to museums, parks, etc, with the baby.  Tell him about what you got or saw that day.

 

And question – why is it him being bored with all you say?  Sounds like you are bored with him since he never talks to you while out.  Does he have any hobbies?  Was he like this (non talkative) when you got together?

Post # 5
Member
497 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@SharlaK:  If you can speak the language, then what about a baby group with other new mothers. I know someone that’s south african and lives in spain and takes her kid to trilingual baby group. 

Post # 6
Member
2454 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@SharlaK:  I would start by trying to find something that interests you both. What about a sport, a band, politics, even missing home… And do not take conversations for granted. You have at least 50 more years with this person. Things are going to be boring from time to time and the conversation will fade out. 

Another issue I see is that people talk to their spouses throughout the day when they are away from each other and then come home with nothing new to say. If you’re one to do this, stop checking in with him. Let him coming home from work be a surprise. 

Does he speak the language of the country you are now in? Maybe a lack of cultural understanding may bring a closeness out in each other. 

Post # 9
Member
867 posts
Busy bee

@SharlaK:  I this tatic with my SO, whenever he talks about something I consider “boring” or just something I would generally have nothing to add too….I ask him three questions about it….I come up with three questions I can ask. It shows him that I care and am interested, and often it furthers the conversation in a more interesting way!

Post # 11
Member
497 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Yeah, you can also read about news and current events and ask his opinions on world goings on etc. Or watch movies or read the same books so you can chat about it later. That’s probably harder when you have a 4 month old baby though. If you can get some time off maybe there’s an activity you could do together? Then you can chat about that after? 

To be honest, it sounds like your probably exhausted and that makes it to come up with anything to say. I imagine if I had a 4 month old baby and I got a night off I might just want to zone out. 

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