- 4 years ago
I’m really struggling that most friends and family seem very disinterested in our wedding.
I am part of a big friendgroup… or at least thought I was. It wouldn’t hurt so much if the standard within that group were not that showers and bachelorettes are thrown, help is given, people are excited, etc whenever one of us gets married or has a baby.
I feel so stupid and immature for wanting a bridal shower and a bachelorette… I know no one is obligated to do those things. I swear it is truly not about the gifts… it’s that no one wants to celebrate with me or arrange something for me other than my busy and over-extended Maid of Honor (my out-of-town and very busy sisters are my bridesmaids so they wouldbe be able to come and I assume that’s why they wouldn’t help set something up.)
My Maid/Matron of Honor is a wonderful person but she’s been throwing around the idea of a bridal shower for over tow months (had me give her a list of people to invite and what I thought I might like- what I want happens to be very low key and simple) but nothing has materialized. She finaly started talking about a date but it was only three weeks away so seemed like not enough notice to give people. I suggested (very nicely and not over-bearing I promise) pusing the date out a month so more people could come and she agreed but only was able to push it out one week. Now that week is almost up so we are back to a 3 week lead time. I love her dearly but she is a major procrastinator and kind of tends to do things half heartedly at the last minute. Every time I emotionally accept that I am not having a shower or bachelorette she throws me a bone and I get excited again but then nothing happens. So it’s hard to grieve it and just move on which is what I desperately want to do.
My Maid/Matron of Honor is not part of my largest friendgroup although she knows a couple of them. What hurts the most is that the large friend group- whom I have supported and encouraged through tough times and celebrated with them in good times… they haven’t even considered looking into making sure someone was doing something for me and/or doing something themselves. On top of all that a girl I thought was a close friend and is getting married a week before me has had two showers and has a bachelorette planned for her by our friends… her bachelorette is coming up (I’ve heard) but she did not invite me.
I feel like my world has been turned upside down. I’ve had trouble making friends in the past and thought I had moved beyond that. I’ve had a difficult life… not trying to throw a pity party for myself- lots of people have had hard lives… I just thought the friends who had seen me go through some really hard things over the past five years would be excited for me and want to celebrate with me. I’m so afraid that if my Maid/Matron of Honor does throw something together last minute no one will come and that will make me feel even worse.
Help! I am truly so excited to be joining my life with the man of my dreams- he is a dream come true! I don’t want to let this other stuff make me sad but the hurt just feels so deep. Any advice on why this is happening and how I can move on?
- This topic was modified 3 years, 8 months ago by sadkad.