Post # 1
Hi Bees! We’re 8 days out, and I’m planning the final getting ready details.
Where did your fiancé’s/ husband’s mother get ready? Truthfully, I’m not comfortable with my FMIL being in the room, for a variety of reasons. She’s caused a lot of drama, generally isn’t a very pleasant person, and definitely rubs my own mother the wrong way (very pushy and overbearing). However, she’s made a point of informing me that her FMIL got ready with her, leading me to believe she thinks she is getting ready with us.
Am I wrong to suggest that she and FFIL get ready in their own hotel room, or with my groom? Just wondering what the general consensus is on this!
Post # 2
I completely understand! I had this problem with my fiance’s mom too. Luckily, my step mom stepped in and asked her to go get her hair done with her. Do you have another lady in your family who she might be able to go do something fun like makeup or hair with? Before my stepmom asked, I was planning to say I thought she would want to spend time with her family. I completely understand no matter what type of relationship you have with your MIL wanting to be apart from her on the day of the wedding.
Post # 3
Never even thought of MIL getting ready with me…. She stayed with DH and we have a very close relationship. honestly, my mom didn’t even get her hair done with us. She went to her own salon and met me at home to get dressed.
Have your FI tell her the plan like he never even knew going with you was an option. If she hears he wants her with him, she might not say anything else about being with you.
Post # 4
FutureMrsHarris2014: In all weddings I’ve been involved in, she’s got ready with her husband, and sometimes with the rest of the “groom’s side”. I’ve never heard of FMIL getting ready with the bride (or bride’s father getting ready with the groom, for that matter). People get ready as “bride’s family” and “groom’s family”, not as a “girls’ house” and “boys’ house”.
Just because her FMIL did something weird, doesn’t mean she should. And wouldn’t she want to be with her own son? Perhaps the solution is for your FI ask for both his parents to get ready in the same place as him.
Post # 5
My FMIL is getting her hair/makeup done with me, my mum and MOH (my only bridesmaid). I’m not sure if she’ll get dressed with us too, or with the boys (groom, FFIL and best man) since they’re all family. I think she’ll end up going back and forth between our two rooms (we’re getting ready in a hotel).
I agree with PPs, if you don’t want her with you, get your FI to mention that he thought she would get ready with him. Or suggest she goes out to a salon to get her hair done or something.
Post # 6
climbergirl: RedWine13: aussiemum1248: copperbird90:
Thank you all so much! I appreciate your suggestions. Fiance called her last night to say that her and FFIL could get ready with him. When she reaches out to me, which I’m sure she will, I’m going to reiterate how I want that private time with my mom and bridesmaids. It’s a little sticky (for her, at least), because her two adult daughters are my bridesmaids, but again, they are adults and don’t need to have their mom there to get them ready. Oy vey!
Post # 7
Crap. I never even thought about this! Haha!<br />I think your plan is a good one! I would think she would be most comfortable getting ready with her husband anyways.
I don’t even think my mom is getting ready with us haha. When I asked her she said, ‘I don’t know, do you need an answer right now?’ all snarky. Whole other issue!
Post # 8
my future mother in law will be coming to my mother’s house to have her hair and makeup done with my mother, myself and the other MOH/bridesmaid. Im not sure if she’s planning to leave after that or finish getting ready (i.e. dress on). Either way, it does not matter to me, we all get a long fine and her two nieces are bridesmaids.
Post # 9
I invited my MIL to get ready with us, she seemed excited, but spent most of her day with my DH. She came in for maybe an hour right before the ceremony and came to the ceremony with me.
Post # 10
UGH I feel you! I am getting ready at my parents along w/all my BMs and my mom. We’re having hair & makeup come there to get ready. FMIL has asked to get her hair done here..I said no, too many people, smaller house, too much going on. Then, she asked if she could get her makeup done here! I just wanted to turn in a Jim Carrey voice and say HOW ABOUT NOOOOO. I can handle her in small doses-but she makes drama about everything and she’d want me to hold her hand and pay attention to her the whole time. She’s too much work. I told her I had to check w/the makeup artist if she could squeeze in another and I just haven’t brought it up. Totally out of line, IMO. It’s about you, with your fam, and your girls…not her!
Post # 11
FutureMrsHarris2014: Same boat :/ not sure what we are doing since she hasn’t paid anything
Post # 12
my MIL got ready with her husband. there was no way she was getting ready with me. the only ppl there with you should be ppl you want there. you shouldn’t have to explain it either- have your FI and others related to her take care of it. good luck
Post # 13
She is getting ready with me and my bms.
Post # 14
- Wedding: October 2014 - Church
FutureMrsHarris2014: FMIL will be getting hair done with us and then will probably be with FI after since his dad passed away. I’m not entirely sure yet, though.