Where to draw the line for no kids wedding

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: What's the qualifying age for your adult only wedding?
    16 : (22 votes)
    31 %
    18 : (25 votes)
    35 %
    21 : (11 votes)
    15 %
    Other (please explain) : (13 votes)
    18 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    4893 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    No kids meant no kids. The only people invited to our wedding were adults. We don’t have any friends under the age of 23 – and really we hardly have any friends under the age of 30 (minus a handful) so we didn’t really put a specific age. We just didn’t invite kids. I wasn’t going to invite someone’s 18 year old kid becuase they are legally and adult, if we didn’t have a relationship with them.

    Post # 4
    Member
    11002 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2009

    Although we did not have an adults-only wedding, we only invited certain categories  of children.  This was not defined by age but, rather, by the nature and closeness of their relationship to us.  We invited only our actual nieces and nephews, my “nieces and nephews” (children of my two best friends/matrons of honor who have thought of me as their aunt all of their lives), and the minor-still-living-at-home children of my first cousins. (DH did not invite any of his cousins.)

    No other children were included in the invitations, and we had no problems with this.

    Post # 5
    Member
    1629 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2014 - Church

    @yehyehgirl:  Honestly? We have a very small handful of people that actually have kids right now. My one sister (has two kids – both will be under 4) does not believe weddings are for children so no issue. Other sister was shocked (and seemed offended) as she believes children should be everywhere, but that doesn’t matter since she has no kids. My parents and his mom are fine/in agreement with the decision. FSIL is on board though she is currently TTC (hopefully if she does get pregnant she would not be in labour around our wedding date so she can actually come though). FI’s best man has daughter but they won’t be a problem. Only possible issue might be cousin who loves kids (hope no issue is made by her). However, her baby will be well over a year by the time the wedding roles around.

    We talked to the siblings and our parents about it (which is really all that matters). We are just going to put “followed by adult reception” on the invite, only have the guests names thatare invited and have a small thing in the FAQ section of our wedding site that we would help anyone with kids find a sitter if need be (under a section that is worded somethinglike “Child Minder”).

    Post # 6
    Hostess
    8680 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I voted 16… but really our cutoff age is 17.

    However, we are also kind of winging it based on if we know/have met the kids, or if we’ve seen them in the past 10 years. If the answer if no, they won’t be getting an invite.

    Basically, the only kids we’ll have there are my niece & nephew [flower girl & ring security], 2 of my cousins [who will be 12 and 17], will probably ask them to be ushers, and my FSIL and her boyfriend.. she is one of my bridesmaids and obviously I would need to invite her even if she wasnt.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1826 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    A very, very few number of our guests have children at all, and they are all <5. We are having our wedding in Las Vegas as a DW, and are debating putting 21+ on the website or not. It feels kind of odd to do that since there aren’t any teenagers.

     

    Post # 8
    Member
    525 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I really wish we’d do a kids free wedding as nothing irks me more than the sound of children screaming/crying/talking during an important ceremony when everyone else is silent… it completely detracts attention from the moment and to that noisy child. But FI’s best friend has a 4 years old who FI adores so I don’t really get much of a choice.

    But I would say that 16 is a good age to cut off at because at this point (hopefully) they have matured and would like to come to a wedding – particularly if they have never been to one in their life. I think some parents would be very offended if they had a well behaved 16 year old that could behave to not be allowed to come to a wedding.

    The main reasons I’ve seen are because there is alcohol, sparklers, adult behaviour, roads/tracks nearby or it just isn’t a suitable place for kids. To me these seem like reasons to not invite young children but not older children.

    Post # 9
    Member
    8720 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    To be honest we thought we would have issues with kids but we didn’t. We did put “adult reception” on our invites.

    Post # 10
    Member
    1590 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    I didn’t do an age limit because I’m not going to invite some of my cousin’s children without their siblings.  I have do a blanket no kids except the fgs rule. But on my dad’s very big side,  I’m inviting first cousins only and not their children. That does mean excluding a 23 year old who I do like, but I can’t invite him and not his teen sisters.

    I hope no one is hurt.

    Post # 12
    Member
    1590 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    @yehyehgirl:  my mom has a few cousins whose weddings I wasn’t invited to as an adult. I didn’t even think twice about it. I think my out of state cousins will be bummed, bc cf weddings are not as common where they are from. Hopefully they are OK with it.

    Post # 13
    Member
    658 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    The only kids that came to the wedding were the kids in the wedding party. 🙂

    Post # 14
    Member
    871 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    @yehyehgirl:  double digits. So 10 or up because we have 3 cousins under 18 who will be 10,10, and 15 and we werent gonna cut just three cousins and all of the other kids are little little so it was easy to say 10 and up and we know that means only these three cousins under 18 then. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    207 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    My mom is one of 14 kids, and is still very close with most of her siblings. The problem is, with all those aunts and uncles, I have 30+ younger cousins just on my mom’s side! 

    While I do plan on inviting all my aunts and uncles to the wedding, we drew the age line at…my age! Any cousins younger than me weren’t invited. It kind of stinks because there are definitely a handful of cousins that I feel closer to and would have liked to invite, but the problem with such a close family is that if you invite some, you have to invite them all. So, to make it easy, we just decided to invite none!

    Post # 16
    Member
    3442 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    @yehyehgirl:  I stated on the invited nobody younger than 21yrs old. Although, two people in my bridal party of 4 were only 20, but nobody knew that. Also, one of the guests was 20, but we just kept that to ourselves.

    Basically, we just didn’t want people bringing any of their children, so we set it at 21 so that people wouldn’t bring their college-age children (despite that being our age lol) to the wedding. I didn’t want anybody to be pissed that “so & so” was able to bring their kid.

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