Post # 1
I’ve known this was coming and have been avoiding the issue. I have an aunt, whoM we’ll call “Helen,” who is a racist and can’t seem to not talk about the Israeli/Palestinian conflict for five minutes. She is neither Jewish or Palestinian – not even Muslim. She does not pick up on cues from other people, even when they’re obviously uncomfortable or getting angry. When she’s not talking about race, etc. she talks AT people about politics.
Why am I inviting her to my wedding? I’d forgotten how bad she was until a family event last weekend. She also has been known to make life hell for my mom when they’re not getting along. I’m hoping she’ll be on better behavior around strangers :/
At this point, she received the save the date and has been around when I’ve talked to my mom about the wedding, so I’m trying to do pre-emptive damage control. Does anyone have any suggestions – warn/talk to her, my cousins – anything? We all think she’d be better if she were on some type of medication, but there’s nothing I can do about it. I’m half tempted to invite people I don’t like just so she’ll have someone to sit with.
Post # 3
@discokitty: Has she RSVP-ed yes? Seat her as far away as possible lol
Post # 4
Ugh how horrid. Is there anyone she does get along with? (or anyone else you don’t like that you can stick her with? lol)
Post # 5
@discokitty: Unfortunately, I would sit her with her kids and/or siblings. It’s gonna suck for them, but at least they know her and won’t start a fight.
Post # 6
I agree. Stick her with her closest family member that can handle/tolerate her.
I had my uncle and his family sit with my other consistently drunk uncle so he could keep him in line.
Post # 7
@discokitty: this is probably bad advice, but I’d do the pre-emptive thing if she RSVPs yes: “Aunt Helen, we’re so glad that you’ll be able to share our day with us. We know you have some strong feelings about certain topics and we’re hoping that we can have a politics free day. I hope you understand and can respect our request to avoid political and hot button discussions just for this day. Can’t wait to see you!”
Post # 8
Outside in the parking lot? 🙂
Post # 9
lol. sorry this cracked me up bc I have same sorta problems.. and yeah, i agree, near a family member and not near anyone you work with! i think most people understand that everyone has one (or a few) people that just are impossible social factors… make sure not to put her near anyone who’s easily offended
Post # 11
The balcony or a porch? Maybe a nice seat right next to the ladies room?
Post # 12
Yep, definitely put her with family members. At least they’ll know what to expect, I can’t imagine being some poor wedding guest and having that come out of nowhere!
Post # 13
@discokitty: Tell her there’s no room at the table, but she can stay in the barn. Then send someone else to the barn to argue with her about which one of them is allowed in the barn. She should appreciate the irony.
Post # 14
Tell her outright that she is not to talk about controversial subjects at the wedding. Hire a plain clothed security officer to sit right next to her. If she starts, she gets removed. No joke we did something similar with a family member who was an officer. The other racist bigot that was an issue was simply not invited. No loss
Post # 15
@discokitty: haha i was about to say out side b.c i cant stand ppl who are racisit but family is family sadly … i do like that invite ppl you don’t like idea lol
ok i am so not helping am i lol hmmm, can anyone talk to her about it?