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I personally decided i'd prefer a shorter engagement- i get pretty antsy! and decide on a venue first- everything falls into place after that
We're doing ours in 5 months next year! I've never heard anyone say they wanted a longer engagement after having a long one, but I've heard PLENTY of people say they wished they had had a shorter one!
My rule of thumb was if I got engaged and had a year to plan I would, but if I didn't atleast have a year I would not. But I also knew September was the month I wanted to get married.
What month are you thinking?
we're having a 19-month engagement, and so far I am really happy with our decision. We already live together, so there is no rush on that. I spent the first 6 months of our engagement just brainstorming, and changed my mind like a million times on everything but I am glad I had enough time to go over all the possibilities! Plus, we got our first choice venue, date, photographer, florist, etc because we planned far in advance. I really haven't felt stressed that much and am enjoying the engagement period... we're also both full-time PhD students though, so we have a LOT going on non-wedding wise; I think if I wasn't as busy I might get antsy ...
Congrats! We started out with a two-year engagement and ended up moving it to almost a year earlier. I think the risk with a long engagement is getting tired of the planning or not having much left to do after a few months, because there's really not two years worth of work. I thought it would take us a long time for sure because I work 70+ hours a week, but I'm finding a year is more than enough to get all the main details down.
A good time for a longer engagement is if you're still in school and you'll be busy finishing up a degree and looking for work OR if money is tight and you need to save up for a while.
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It can be pretty overwhelming. I say, take a little bit of time to bask in the engagement-ness, then set a date! You don't need to set a date (soon or later) right away. Don't rush into the planning!
first off - CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!
NOW - we had planned on have a 2 year engagement...we got engaged on June 30, 2008 and I set our wedding date for June 26, 2010 (which will still be our wedding day)...however due to other circumstances (him NEEDING surgery...) we got legally married on April 14 this year...but that was only for it to be legal so I could immediately place him on my insurance and he could have back surgery that he absolutely HAD to have...course that's a whole other story...
now - as far as the engagement time - if we didn't have to get married already - and we were still actually engaged the reason, for me, was that I had always wanted to have a long engagement to make sure that whomever I was to marry would make sure he wanted to stay with me...and if they stay for 2 years for an engagement...yeah weird thinking, I know - but that's how I'd always had it in my mind - lol. :) BUT in saying that - once we got legal, we HAD been together for 2 years and 6 months exactly on that date. so that's why I had planned on doing a long engagement. plus we were trying to save up money and we bought the house first.
also - i totally agree that taking your time will get you the first come first serve for so many vendors on the date you're looking for! :) we have one of the absolute most sought after venues in indianapolis and to have actually gotten it DURING June?!
and it's nice that i've bought some things here and there instead of EVERYTHING all at once and spending a ton of money in a short period of time.
Course - now it IS coming down to crunch time...only 7 months left!
anyways - take your time - it'll be worth it! plus you don't wanna stress over rushing a wedding!
good luck and have fun!
I got engaged in July and im getting married next week. about a five month engagement? and while i wish there were more things i could have done.. im happy with the length and like you i have been with my fiance for two years so i was about ready. I always knew i was getting married in December, too
It might be worth it to you to try and find a venue before the end of the year. Some places raise their fees in January.
I'm 6 months into a 14 month engagement, and I'm going nuts! I say if you want a shorter one, go for it!
The knot has a monthly check list if you need ideas. Not everything is accurate, but it's helped me a lot!
Trust me, you're going to want the shorter engagement! I planned for a year (almost exactly) and almost wish it had been shorter! I was so DONE with planning by the time the wedding finally rolled around, and I've heard alot of bee's say they chose a long engagement, and had wished they had gone for something shorter!
Okay, I have to say "at the beginning..." as a response to your thread title.
At the beginning.
Thank you.
Carry on.
We have had a 12 month engagement and it's been perfect. I've never felt freaked out or rushed, was able to get every vendor I wanted and budget-wise I think it's been a lot easier buying everything over a year. The year has gone by SO SO fast!! Any longer though and I think I would get antsy and go crazy! Whatever you decided you'll be happy :)
We're having a long engagement so I can finish school. I'd like to get married sooner, sure. But a degree is much more important short-term. I'll be with Fireman til the end of my days! :)
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My fiance and I got engaged Friday night and I am a little overwhelmed. I'm not sure if I should start planning ASAP to try and push for a 2010 wedding or enjoy the engagement and plan a 2011 wedding.
I know this is something we'll have to decide and initially we said no planning until after Christmas but I keep thinking 20 months is a really long engagement. We've been together for 2 1/2 years and I'm not necessarily in a rush, I'd just like an opinion or two.