Post # 1
It seems like every week there is something new and stressful that comes up with the wedding. My fiance and I are getting married in California. Our families live in Florida, and are excited to travel out here for the wedding. However, I have NO IDEA what to do about my little brother. The wedding isn’t until August so we have some time to figure this out, but my mom is freaking out at me too.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my brother, but he is 25 years old, is on bad terms with my parents, and has no money. He doesn’t have a great reputation for fending for himself, so he is really high maintenance, and cannot drive. We have a tiny apartment and he is a slob who talks non-stop about inane things and we’re pretty sure will drive us CRAZY if he stays with us for the wedding. Plus, we will be going to a hotel for the 2 nights before the wedding anyhow….
No one in the family will stay with him, except on the off chance one male relative if he decides not to bring a date.
We are also nervous to ask any of our friends to put him up since he is high maintenance, he doesn’t know them, and we have only known them for a few years. We don’t want anyone to look back on the wedding and think of it as the time that my brother caused them hell…
Ideally we’d like to find someone (anyone) for him to stay with so they can make sure he gets to things on time, but I don’t know if that is in the cards. So, what do we do? Do we just suck it up and pay for a hotel room just for him? Is it wrong to ask someone we have only known a few years and who has never met my brother to let him brother stay with them?
Post # 3
Can you not ask your parents to suck it up and have him stay with them for the sake of your wedding?
Post # 4
How long will your brother be there? Can he maybe stay at your apartment if you and FI are going to be at a hotel.
Honestly, if your brother drives YOU crazy, I probably wouldn’t ask any your friends to host him. If you love him and don’t want him to stay with you, it seems a little unfair to ask that of any of your friends. I think its asking too much of your friends to host someone they have never met, especially since you say that he is a slob.
I would talk to him and see how much he can contribute to a hotel room. Since he isn’t on good terms with your parents, he must be paying for his own flight to CA, right? So he must have some money? I would see how much he could contribute and then maybe you and your FI can make up the difference. Honestly, I don’t think its your responsibility to concern yourself with your brother’s accommodations but I think its nice of you to do so. If your mom is so worried about it, maybe your parents can pay for his hotel?
Post # 5
thanks, I appreciate your input! It’s good to get opinions from people who aren’t emotionally involved!
Post # 6
Oh gosh— you already know he’s going to drive you nuts. Maybe ask for a hotel room for him as a wedding gift from your parents? (I kid, I kid)
Are there any hostels near by? It might be worth the 25-50$ even out of your own pocket, to put him up elsewhere and not need to worry about it.
Post # 7
Oh my goodness, if you and your family can’t stand to stay with him, PLEASE do not ask one of your guests to babysit him! If one of my friends did that to me I would never forgive them, seriously! I think the best thing to do is to get him a room next door to your parents and give them one of his keys so they can wake him up and get him going if necessary.
Post # 8
thank you for your input! We are still figuring out what to do, but I think everyone is on the same page at this point which is a great start.
Post # 9
Your brother sounds like he could benefit from “Couchsurfing”. I think they do that in the US! Google it 🙂
The other option is to let him stay at your house while y’all are in the hotel before the wedding.