Where would you seat them? (Etiquette Question)

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
42549 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

brooke25:  I’m not going to answer your question initially, because there is no way I would have chosen a venue like that.  I think it is so rude to have people seated where they have no sightline much less in another room. I had this discussion with a Bee who was trying to plan seating in such a venue and she didn’t see any problem with it.

I would have my reception anywhere else-outdoors, in a community hall, an empty church auditorium, rather than choose such a venue.

Secondly, I certainly would seat those closest to the Bride and Groom, nearest the head table. Sometimes though, as a guest we really don’t know the degree of everyone’s relationship. Seating plans can be a huge challenge.

Post # 3
Member
1750 posts
Buzzing bee

Maybe they didn’t want the majority of the people around them to be just the bridal party and their spouses. 

Do you know if the bride and groom told the bridal party spouses about the seating arrangement? Maybe they knew about it already and were fine with it.

I just wouldn’t have a bridal party in this situation. They add more tasks to the to-do list, anyway, and I don’t want to deal with spouses and SOs that can’t be apart without bursting into tears. 

That being said, if the venue was oddly shaped, I wouldn’t choose it. I wouldn’t want my guests in a place where I can’t even see them. 

Post # 5
Member
3084 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Rhopalocera:  Who knows if that is even the case though? Maybe the spouse/SO only knew their husband who was in the bridal party. It’s very awkward to be at a wedding where the only person you know is your husband and the couple who is married and not even being sat with them. 

Post # 8
Member
3084 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Rhopalocera:  I think I misread it sorry. It was just the part about not wanting SO of bridal parties members to burst into tears if they aren’t next to their spouse.

Post # 9
Member
1750 posts
Buzzing bee

brooke25:  I don’t think they actually reacted that way. My point was that I’d rather not deal with anyone’s feelings about seating arrangements.

I was also referring to some of the posts written here about this problem. People get really upset about this stuff, hence my “bursting into tears” comment. 

Post # 11
Member
1750 posts
Buzzing bee

Blondie2014:  I believe that too, which is why I wouldn’t choose such an oddly shaped venue. 

However, lots of other people don’t pay attention to details like that. When situations like this happen, the best thing to do is shake your head at their oversight and have as much fun as you can despite the odd arrangement. It’s only a few hours anyway. 

Post # 12
Member
3693 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I went to a wedding like that. It was awful. We all felt like second-class citizens in a separate room. We missed the first dances, the cake cutting, the speeches, everything.

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