Weddingbee boards

There are a lot of related posts floating about, but I'm curious where the line is for you with your pet. Under what circumstances would you give up your pet?

I had a dog, Marley, that I adopted 5 years ago. He was 1 year old, and a beautiful golden colored shepherd/lab mix. Loyal, mild mannered and so well behaved. I rarely had an issue with him. He had been abused and then dumped in town, tied to a lamp post for 2+ days. He was a day from being put down when I came by.

We have dealt with ticks since we moved into our home. Our back yard borders a large forested area and the apple trees in our yard attract deers and other animals. Lyme Disease is very prevalent in our area, and despite monthly medication, Marley was still tracking ticks into our house. We combed through him every time he came back inside. Fencing our yard to keep animals out was not financially possible, nor was treating our yard with pesticides to kill the ticks. And using pesticides in our yard when we have a small child was not something I was willing to do. We dealt with it unti I saw a tick an inch from my son. My dog had laid down on the bath mat and I was bathing my son. That was the last straw. He stayed at my inlaws that night, and then my grandmother agreed to take him in permanently, to live a spoiled life with her other dog. I would never be able to forgive myself if m son got sick because I refused to give up my dog.

Where is your line? How much in medical bills would you/could you pay? Would you risk your relationship with your significant other or your/your family's health? Is your dog biting someone/a family member/your child where you draw the line?

I know that pets are wonderful and I consider Marley to be a member of our family. They are a responsibility and should never be given up without a second thought.  I just would not chose a pet at the risk of my relationship with my husband or the health of myself or my family.

My intent is not to get people riled up, but to (calmly) see other people's points of view.

I wouldn't go into debt for a pet. It might seem harsh, but I don't view my pet as a child. I would definitely pay substantial medical bills, but there would be a point at which we would have to say no.

I don't think I'd ever give a pet to a kill-shelter, but if I exhausted other options, I would go to a rescue or a shelter.

@mrstilly: my thinking is very similar to yours. My dogs are very important to me but not more important to me than my real human family or people I love. I wouldnt say its that I love them less but I love them in a different way. In my mind the two just dont compare.

My SO knew how much I love my pets before he started dating me. If he didn't like it he needed to let me know before we got serious. So if he just didn't like the smell, that's too damn bad. I hate the smell of garlic but he continues to use his hands to smash it up when he cooks. I'm not going to leave him for that. That's stupid.

only serious health risks. Even then I would try my best to find a family member that I trusted to take them.

@MissCallieJean: I think thats a good way to look at it. If someone i dated was that into their pets and I knew that than I wouldnt get serious. that can work both ways and its a very good point. For those that have that menality toward their pets and say that they would never date someone who either didnt love animals just as much or wasnt accepting of the love they had for their animals there are also those that could say that they wouldnt date someone who had that type of attachment. Im one of those people and while i wouldnt date someone who was cruel or cold or harmful to animals I wouldnt be able to date someone who would choose their pet over me. Im pretty respectful of everyone's feelings on this but I think its good to point out the flip side to things sometimes :)

@stardustintheeyes: I think we already do think that way before we get serious with someone. There are always dealbreakers. But for some reason no one ever thinks about pets as being dealbreakers. That's why so many animals are dumped on the street or into shelters. It's sad.

Sometimes animals are treated like objects to just be dumped off at a junkyard. It's not like a sports car that you have to get rid of to make room for baby. It's a living breathing animal and people need to truly think about it before the get a pet.

@pinkshoes: We treated him with both at different times to try to stop the ticks. This is the 7th one we've found in the house in the last year. We've found dozens on him in that same time, and despite the highest dose of tick meds for his size, a dozen or so have still bit him and been full of blood when I've gotten them off him. This one  was carried in and dropped into our bathmat very much alive. 

I do realize that we'll have to watch for ticks when we are outside playing, but knowing that they are in our house and could bite any of us at any time is not okay with me.

Two of my husbands aunts are almost completely incapacitated due to complications of Lyme Disease. I know a friend who was bit, and soon after her son was and they are both having medical issues from it. I can be cautious and on the look out when we are outside, but I can't live having to constantly be searching him over even when we are playing inside.

@Jeannine: We didn't leave him out there unsupervised, unless it was a quick dash inside to get something. He always stayed in our yard. We live on a busy road outside of town. There is no "neighborhood" for us. He will not fetch or play games either. He roams the backyard while we are outside. We have a run up when we can't be out there with him and for some days in the winter when it's too cold or only one of us is home and has to stay inside with our infant son. We don't have a lot of options for exercising him out of using our backyard. And he has to pee somewhere, even when we aren't out there for exercise/playtime.

@quiche: Agreed.  Once you adopt a pet, it's your responsibility and shouldn't be taken lightly. I hate to see my friends dump their pets once they have kids. And I feel I can say this pretty legitimately cause my cat is a monster who tears up the furniture and thinks she's playing when she jump attacks us at random times, but I committed to taking care of her even on her bad days. I can't imagine giving her away.

@PurpleUnicorn: My cat is 3 and sounds exactly like yours... we've kind of determined that she's so afraid of other people that she acts out when they're around. She won't attack people who come in if they leave her alone but if they walk towards her or to another room she freaks out. It's heartbreaking for me cause my family and friends hate her but she's not so much mean as she's just scared of them.

@TinyTina: see but thats how it should be! :) for those with a love for animals they should find someone that is on the same page or who is accepting and supportive of that.

Like other posters, our dogs are our kids. We have insurance on them, so that does help with some medical bills that come about, but we've also spent several thousands of dollars on our puppy due to allergies, a parasite he got from the dog park, and currently he's at the vet and we can' figure out what is wrong with him since we haven't been able to go 30 days without him being seriously ill to add to our pet insurance.

We don't currently have kids, but our dogs have all been socialized around kids of all ages and are excellent around them. When we do have children, our dogs will have plenty of time to acclimate to the kids and we won't be getting rid of the dogs because of baby. That actually infuriates me. FI and I both volunteer with local rescue groups, and we see a lot of people giving up dogs for rediculous reasons. 

@Genuine513: I really agree with what you're saying. Finding a good home for a pet you are no longer able to take care of, for whatever reason, IS taking responsibility for that animal. Dumping them outside or at a kill shelter is not. It is unfortunate that some people do not think about the committment needed before getting a pet and then are later unable or unwilling to continue to take care of them. Especially when the circumstances you are in don't change that much or were able to be predicted ahead of time. It is a committment and should be taken seriously. Dogs especially need a lot of exercise and time, and so many people want a pet only when it's convenient and to heck with the other times/days when it's not.