(Closed) Where’s the Love?

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1498 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Try to focus on the love you have between you and your FI.  That’s the reason you are getting married, not for anybody else.

I know we want our friends and families to be happy and supportive of us, but sometimes that doesn’t always happen.  When I mention an idea and get a bunch of crap for it, i just don’t bring it up again.

I would try to focus on the emotionally neutral topics and try to remember the things your family and his are touchy about.

Bringing your stress home to your FI is the first thing any of us would do, but engagement can be stressful in general and adding more stress to your FI is probably a bad thing.  Just try to avoid the conversations and contact that upsets you, so that you and your FI can stay focused on the good stuff.

Post # 4
Member
1750 posts
Buzzing bee

@jayb33:I am sorry you are going through this, I know it is difficult. I think sometimes people are accustomed to you being one way and think if you get married things will change. I know it’s hurtful to be around such negative people but I would not let that take my joy. When people get married and when people die everyone wants to reflect on their own life. You have to understand, it’s about them, not you. Plan a fabulous vaca and enjoy your future husband. How are your friends responding?

Post # 5
Member
2289 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I’m sorry you’re going through this. Don’t talk to them about wedding planning, or just be intentionally vague. Also, a tiny church elopement could be amazing 🙂

Post # 6
Member
1253 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m so sorry you’re in that situation! You do not need that negativity in your life! You have waited a long time to get married, I think the only person you have to please is yourself and your fiance. If you want tol elope, do it. If you want a larger wedding, do it. Let all their rude remarks roll off like water on a duck’s back!

Post # 7
Member
780 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I can TOTALLLLLLLLLLLLY relate.  Except instead of getting what seems like “the cold shoulder” in your situation, my family and friends could CARE LESS that I’m getting married.  No “so how’s the wedding planning going?”  or “have you decided on xyz”.  No “what are your colors going to be”, nothing.  They could completely CARE LESS.  Not even my friends.  Of course, I stood with all of them in their weddings, threw “assembly line” parties for DIY programs and favors.  Bachlorette, bridal showers, dress fittings you name it.  With me…not so much.  But, it is what it is.  Not sure why, but that’s the way it is.  The fact that I am marrying the single most SWEETEST guy ever makes up for all of that.  I know that corny city but that’s really the way I feel.

Post # 8
Member
780 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

By the way, FI and I are getting married in a private ceremony in Jamaica for just the 2 of us.  So I can’t tell you not to elope.  LOL.  I felt the same way as you about the huge, multi-thousand wedding/party. 

We are, however, having a small beach party/cookout (for about 20 people) on a local beach here at home prior to leaving for Jamaica.  We figured although they are “funny acting” as you say (tee hee), we still love them and this is a once in a life time event.  But this beach party will be a few HUNDRED dollars instead of several THOUSAND.  

Not all of them are happy with the idea.  But it’s what **WE** want to do and frankly, I don’t see why any of them are surprised.  But we feel if the beach party is nice, and we do it juuuuust right,  they will be ok in the end. 

Either way ((shrugs shoulder))

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