(Closed) WHETHER to have children

posted 9 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
88 posts
Worker bee

We never really struggled with the decision to have children. We had each made the choice that we did not want to have children prior to the two of us meeting.

I always assumed when I was young that I would have children of my own one day. But as I matured, I realized that it is a responsibility that I do not want. I love my neices and nephews but do not have the desire in me to have my own.

My husband’s jobs requires that we move every 2-3 years and will soon be going overseas. I simply so not think this is the type of household a child should be raised in.

Everyone tells me that I will change my mind as the years go by (don’t get me started!) but I know that all I want is to spend the rest of my life with the husband seeing the world and growing together.

Post # 4
Member
1238 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

I never wanted children until I met my husband.  I was even engaged once before and knew that I did not want kids.  I really can’t say exactly why I changed my mind; I just knew a few months after dating my husband that I wanted to have his kids.  We talked about it, and we are planning on trying to start a family over the summer. 

Post # 5
Member
179 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2007

I love children but due to circumstances in my childhood, I’ve considered not having children. But I also see having children as a "rebirth" if you will and I can’t imagine not having a family of my own. Children in general scare me but I’d love to have a FAMILY. Mr. SP says he would just as satisfied if we didn’t have children.

Post # 6
Member
754 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

I want children but won’t let myself think about it until I have dropped some weight.  I have about 20 more pounds to lose before I am at a healthy BMI.  I just can’t imagine packing on more pounds when I am already overweight.  I want to be healthy before conceiving, for my sake and the baby’s.  Other than that, I am ready to go!

Post # 7
Member
5823 posts
Bee Keeper

Whenever people ask FI and I whether we will be having children we always say: “Nope.  Dogs.  So much easier.”

But in reality we want like 4!

Post # 8
Member
216 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

We go back and forth all the time.  Like Chicagoseattle, I had decided before meeting West Cost Groom that I really didn’t think I needed to have my own children.  I find being around children fulfilling and wonderful, but having my own family is a different kettle of fish altogether.

West Coast Groom came the same sort of decision before meeting me.  We still talk about it now and again, and ultimately, we’re not really sure what we’re going to do, but we have just agreed to keep talking about it so we know how the other’s opinions are shaping up.  If I turned around one day and said I had to have a child to feel content with our life, West Coast Groom would go with it, and I would do the same if he came to me with the same request.  I’m ok with that level of uncertainty, because I know I want to be with him regardless. 

It’s a tough decision though, and there has definetely been more pressure on us to consider a brood of our own now that we’re getting married.  The generational shifting within my family that is happening now that I and my sister are getting married is making everyone baby crazy!

Post # 10
Member
1156 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2005 - Westside Loft, New York

i always wanted children, but after two miscarriages, I really started thinking about whether i could be happy without kids.

i still want them, but i think i could be happy.  i’d just have a full life — a job i love, lots of friends, travel, etc.  i’d just have a lot of pets too.  

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