Which Bridesmaids gift would you want more?

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
137 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@cutelizard:  Of those two I would think the clutches would be more likely to be used again. Not everyone uses robes at all, and tons of people (me included) don’t really want everything monogrammed or embroidered. I love the robe getting ready photos too but I just can’t justify that as a gift for my BMs.

Post # 4
Member
310 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

i’d rather have the clutch. 1. because I already have a robe, 2. i hardly wear it, 3. I wouldn’t wear it getting my hair done and stuff and 4. this day in age I think I’m one of the few people who own a robe. Just being honest. A clutch i’d like and use more. Plus if they’re silver they’ll pretty much go with anything if they choose to use it again.

Post # 5
Member
37 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I would prefer the clutch idea also

Post # 6
Member
297 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

If it’s truly a fancy satin evening clutch, I’d probably never use it again.  In which case I’d prefer a robe, I guess.  More chance I’d use that again, although it wouldn’t be often.

Post # 7
Member
10219 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Etiquette Snob here… lol

To be sure they are BOTH very nice.

BUT if they are to be used at YOUR Wedding, then they are not truly Thank You Gifts (IF that indeed was your intentiion)

TRUE Thank You Gifts for the Bridal Party, are meant to be things that come with “no strings attached” items… things beyond the Wedding… that you give to the person because of the person they are (selected for them personally based on their likes and interests) and the wonderful friendship / relationship that you share with each person.

So if these are “day of gifts” they are all fine

BUT if they are the ONLY Thank Yous that you’ll be getting your Maids, then they are not.

 

Post # 9
Member
778 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Ummmm…hate to counter @This Time Round:  but it has become VERY common for bridesmaids gifts to be gifts that they use during the wedding. I’ve been a bridesmaid MANY times, and I almost always am given the jewelry that I will wear on the day. Even Martha Stewart (who is an ettiquette maven) recommends giving jewelry to the bridesmaids that they could wear at the wedding with their dresses, and then keep for later. The ettiquette page on theKnot.com also says that jewelry and/or clutches that they can carry that day are acceptable and appropriate gifts. 

 

Post # 10
Member
686 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Can you show us pics of what you’re thinking? I have a satin robe that i wear constantly in summer, so i’d love one with my name on it, it’s really handy for getting ready to go out and stuff like that. But then again i love clutches too, if it’s one of those really formal ones it may not be used often but if it’s casual enough to use on a night out it would be fine. Sorry i’m not that helpful..!

Post # 12
Member
10219 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

TO @CelticBeachBride:  My go-to has always been Emily Post & the Post Institute of Etiqutette.

Just because something is “common” doesn’t make it right…

Traditional etiquette would state that the gift should be chosen for the person (personality) as an individual and therefore something that is not matchy-matchy, with each gal getting the same item, or something that is “required” for the Wedding.

Jewellery certainly makes a great gift, and it is the one area where this is a bit more “wiggle room” for sure… but again, best if things aren’t all the same, which shows that not a lot of effort has been put into the thought process

So for example, one could give the Maids all Earrings, if that is what they are into, but not identical earrings, and preferably not those to be worn at the Wedding as part of their outfit (the look the Bride envisions)

But in this case we aren’t talking jewellery… we are talking a Robe & Purse… and BOTH are items that the OP has clearly said are for the Wedding

So as I said, they wouldn’t qualify as Thank Yous… IF that was her intention with these particular gifts to her Maids

 

Post # 13
Member
7410 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Anything that is a prop for your wedding day isn’t a gift for your BM’s. It is a gift for yourself and your wedding. Personally if I received the ame gift as everyone else and it’s primary job was for the wedding or wedding pictures then I would think the bride was a tad selfish (especially if I had forked out $$ for a dress, shoes etc that I will never wear again) and didn’t really put any thought into the gift besides what benefit it would be for her.

I would ditch these ideas and get them each something personal like their favourite perfume or a voucher to their favourite store.

Post # 14
Member
611 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 1988

I agree with both @This Time Round:  and @j_jaye: … each is a wonderful addition to your wedding day but a “gift” has no obligations. 

Give your Bridesmaids the jewelry and/or the clutch but also give them something they can use at their own convenience… when it is, truly, your gift to each girl.

I said the same thing in another thread but it will mean more to each of them if you really think about them and what they enjoy.

 

Post # 15
Member
943 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I’m not sure that either gift would really be used again. If you are set on one gift out of those two, I’d probably choose the clutch (but I’d like either one, really). I think it’s the thought that counts, so a heartfelt thank you card along with the gift would be the thing that I would truly remember.

 

Post # 16
Member
5087 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2014

@CelticBeachBride:  +1 I totally agree jewellery and a bag are thoughtful and practical gifts. That can be used after the wedding also. 

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