(Closed) Which Choice?

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Which choice is best for long term success?
    break up : (13 votes)
    76 %
    try again now : (4 votes)
    24 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    138 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Hi there, so sorry to hear you are having problems. I think the best option is to try again now. I think the councillor option is a really great one, you can both talk through the problems you are having, learn from it and hopefully come out better and stronger because of it.

    However, the only thing you haven’t mentioned is how YOU feel. This has to be the deciding factor. What is your heart telling you?

    Good luck,

    Tara xoxo

    Post # 4
    Member
    7175 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    If you are ok never getting married, I’d say try again.

    If you know you want to get married, I’d break up.

    Post # 6
    Member
    506 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    I’m sorry this has happened to you, such a difficult decision.

    I read your old posts, and to be honest the information you gave about your discussion wasn’t enough to make the vote. 

    We are engaged, and still have doubts sometimes about SPECIFIC THINGS if we can ever work things out (my tempers, his laziness in house works etc.), and we try to work things out TOGETHER, but separating from each other is never an opion for us. If his doubts were just rational such as “I dont feel happiness with you all the times or most of the times”, he maybe just “not that into you”, I dont think his willingness to change will help. 

    I saw two red flags in your all posts that unless these things change, at some points your relationship wont work. 

    • He had doubts about your relationship, and instead of trying to work things out, he at some point, chose an unfaithful way, and consider to live his life without you, and with somebody else. I think the base thing for any marriage is the two  must want another person in their life all the times.

    • He saw a therapist and she said he basically can’t ignore his doubts and pretend everything is okay. Pretending everything is ok is a red flag there as well. Things wont work out by themself if both of you accept there are PROBLEMS that need to fix. I had similar problem before, and thankfully I posted in weddingbee before, and realized our problem was that I always tried to ignore them, and pretended they were ok, these things wont vanish by themself, they require commitments and working through them.

    Maybe reading through this to see if he is the right person for you or not, and consider if you should spend more times for him. Six years are long enough to waste for a person that can’t make commitment in a relationship. 

     

     

     

     

     

     

    Post # 7
    Member
    993 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I would say unless you’re ok with not getting married/things staying the same and you feel it would make you happy to just be with him, do it.  I wouldn’t get back together with him unless he knows its what he wants.  Getting to know you again?… you’ve been dating for six years, you have history…

    I’m sorry you’re having such a hard time with this.  Make a decision that works for you, don’t base it on feeling bad for him.

    hugs!

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