- 5 years ago
- Wedding: July 2013
I have a huge delimma.
My biological father has not been as present and involved in my life as I would have liked. That being said, when I really needed him, he was always there. He has recently had severe health issues, and ended up having open-heart surgery. I was so thankful that he pulled through and that I was there when he woke up. I know that my dad loves me, I just think he had no idea what to do with a girl as a child. His intentions were usually good, but he sometimes had arguments with my mom when I was growing up, causing some tension between he and myself later in my life. All in all, I love my dad, but we have never been as close as I would like.
When I was five, my mom married my step dad. He has acted as my father since the first day I met him. He was there every time I had my heart broken, held me when I cried, and bought every thing I have ever needed. He and his family have always treated me as their own. I whole-heartedly consider him my father. 100%. He was the one my FI asked for permission to propose. He was the one who helped me choose my wedding dress, and paid for it. He is without a doubt, the best man I have ever, ever met.
It may seem as if my decision is clear, and I know which man deserves to walk me down the aisle. However, when I think about walking down the asile, I can’t imagine telling my bioglical father that I don’t want him there. He is still my dad in my heart. I know that either way, I am going to upset someone. I feel so blessed to have two dads that love me, but I cannot come to a decision about who should walk me down the aisle on my wedding day.
I have considered having them both walk me. The issue there is, there is literally not enough room for all 3 of us to walk down the aisle in the church. I have also considered having my bio dad walk me half way to meet my step-dad (I hate calling him that) who would walk me the rest of the way. This idea highly upset my mom and she felt like I would be insulting them both by doing this.
At this point, I may just walk myself. But I have always imagined the moment that my dad(s) would give me away to my husband. This has become such a struggle for me. Everyone has told me that the decision is ultimately mine.
I know that my biological dad would pitch a fit if I did not ask him, and my step-dad would be heartbroken, though he wouldn’t say a word.
This decision seems literally impossible. Please help provide some possible solutions/comprimises…or even just some perspective. I am getting married July 13, and would love to have a decision made soon…