Post # 1
Inspired by this post: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/new-trend-to-thank-you-cards
and hoping NOT to spark an angry etiquette debate
I am wondering…
which is the bigger faux pas in your opinion?
A preprinted, generic photo TY card
No TY card at all?
(Seriously – no angry etiquette food fights. I’m not advocating for either of these options, just genuinely wondering which you would see as a bigger faux pas.)
Post # 3
Married since August and still have not sent out TY Cards. They are sitting in our office. The plan is to start them this week.
I really do have a very good reason!
Better late than never?
Post # 4
I think not receiving a thank you card at all is worse. It’s unfathomable to me.
Post # 5
If I received a picture thank you card with no message I would be a little miffed. But if I didn’t receive a thank you card at all I would be very upset because I would feel as if the bride and groom don’t appreciate their guests.
Post # 6
No thank you at all!
As PP said above – I would be upset at the lack of effort from the couple if they sent a generic card but that is more effort than an ungrateful couple that didn’t send one at all and so I think the no thank you card is worse!
Post # 7
I would be more upset at not getting a thank you at all.
We actually just had this happen. Attended a wedding in August and never received a thank you (worried that they possibly didn’t get the card with the money but then was told they didn’t send out thank you’s to anyone). Extremely rude, if you ask me.
FI was a groomsmen in a wedding in October and we received a photo “Thank You” card with nothing else written on the card. I felt this was VERY impersonal (especially considering FI was in the wedding AND we gave them an expensive, sentimental gift).
Still…I would rather receive some sort of thank you versus none at all.
Post # 8
If i never get a card at all, at least I pretend you wrote me a lovely note and it got lost in the mail. If you just send me a “here’s a picture, aren’t we cute card” without a note, then I know that I’m just not important enought to you to warrant a note.
Post # 9
No thank you at all for sure!
@Gerbera: YES better late than never! You could even include a little something about “sorry this is so late”
Post # 10
Some thank you is better than no thank you.
Post # 11
Receiving no TY card is not okay but I actually wouldn’t be offended if the couple sent a generic TY. If it wasn’t “the T word” I would totally order a bunch of generic TY’s and just customize each one to say something like “We really loved the toaster and we can’t wait to use it!”. Heck of a lot easier than re-writing the same opening on 50 TY’s.
ETA: While we’re on the topic of TY’s… I was a bridesmaid in my friend’s wedding a few years ago. I single handedly threw her shower, got her a very nice gift for it, PAID for a few aspects of her wedding (yes, you read right. I paid for some of the things at her wedding) and FI and I gave her and her new husband a very generous monetary gift. All together I invested close to $1500 into her wedding (including buying my dress). I never got a TY for the shower OR the wedding. Actually, I never even got an invitation to the wedding!
Post # 12
generic thank you > no thank you
Post # 13
Oh how I hate those damn picture cards. Honestly, if you’re sending someone a thank you card, or a holiday card or ANY CARD at least make a passing attempt to personalize it. You are not a celebrity. Merely sending a picture of yourself will not suffice. I feel very strongly about that. Hell, I personalized my STDs!
Even given my strong feelings towards those awful photo thank you cards, I still think they’re better than not getting one at all!
Post # 14
Oops I voted for the wrong one! I think not sending one is worse.
Post # 15
Oh, I’m HORRIBLE with thank you cards. Of course, I usually thank the person profusely when the gift is given to me, too!
HOWEVER, I’m gonna do my darndest to improve if/when we get presents. Even if it’s an email or FB message thanking them profusely for coming and the gift they gave (if they gave one…).
Personally, I’d rather have a written thank you, even if it’s on the picture card, than a picture and the words typed on it. Heck, I’d even take an email or FB message over a generic thank you picture card. At least it would mean they took the time to write A message of SOME SORT!
But I wouldn’t be angry if I didn’t get one because, well, I’m horrible at it, so I sure can’t fault someone else for something I’d probably do.
but.. just between us… no thank you is worse than a generic card….
Post # 16
Definitely no thank you card at all.