Etiquette Snob here… lol
The rule of thumb anyone who has given you either a Gift or a Gift in Kind (act of kindness) MUST be thanked.
That Thank You can come in the form of a Gift or Words.
Today most people return acts of kindess with Gifts as well.
So ya, before you know it your list can look quite long. THE MUST DOs include:
* Anyone who has acted as a Hostess for a Pre-Wedding Event… so Aunt Sally who held your Shower. Your Sister Susan that organized your Bachelorette. Gifts are usually sent the day after the event (delivered)… and followed up with a sincere thank you card / note with a personal message. Typical gifts can include Flowers, Wine, a Gift Basket, or something chosen especially for the person
* As well as Gramma who put up one of the Bridesmaids in her Guest Room for the Wedding Weekend. Gift selections are usually similar to the ones listed above.
* Bridal Attendants (MOH, Best Man, Bridesmaids, Groomsmen / Ushers). Including Wedding Party Children (Flower Girls – Ring Bearer – Paiges etc)
There is much confusion over these Thank Yous in particular. Anything that is given SHOULD NOT BE conditional on the Attendants wearing it / using it on YOUR Wedding Day. Gifts should be chosen for the Attendant personally for the time and energy they committed to you… so chosen for them individually… not enmasse and not matchy-matchy
(So… it is ok for example to give earrings if that is what all your gals are into… but there should be no obligation for them to be worn on your Wedding Day… and they should be chosen individually for each girl and her style)
Other Thank Yous that are “nice”
* Something for those have taken part in the Ceremony… Readers, Soloist, etc. If it was an act of kindness and not a paid person, they should receive a Thank You
* The above would also include anyone who fulfilled an important role at your Reception (not paid)… MC, Musician, Speach Maker etc.
* It is ALWAYS classy to send a heartfelt thank you to your Officiant for marrying you (no TIP required for this job…) BUT the Officiant and their Guest (SO, Spouce… should be invited to BOTH the Rehearsal Dinner and to the Wedding Reception Meal)
* Gifts are also often nowadays exchanged between The Bride & Groom on the Wedding Day… altho those can be BIG or small… or even just a wonderful Love Note.
* And some B&Gs give Thank You Gifts to their Parents… this too is optional.
The easiest is often to send them a framed Wedding Pic “with all our Love” after you get back from your Honeymoon… and the Photographer has shown you the Pics.
Hope this helps,