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My dad is causing all the drama. He planned his wedding to be the same day as mine. He knew full well when we were planning to get married, but he took the date anyway. He stole my wedding date! I have a long venting post somewhere in the hive lol. I kept my date & told him to shove it.
I'm cool now, but I never, ever thought it would happen. I was sure his family was the crazy family.
Weddings bring out the worst in a lot of people lol
@KellyFP: My fmil did a lot of the same things. Except she came right out and said that when his older sister gets married she knows she'll be paying for it. She did at one point say she'd pay for rehersal dinner but she has been VERY critical of our choices in tuxes, cake, location, guest list. Luckily she is calling FI and he has been handling it & he does it so well. It's still hard to have someone bash things you love. She hasn't said anything lately so maybe she's relaxed but we haven't had much new planning news yet either.
Mine aren't that bad, but I voted "his".
Both of FI's parents passed away several years ago, but he's the baby of 6 (HUGE fam) Anyway we're having the hardest time enforcing..errr... suggesting that his family mmbers not bring their children, not invite every person they've ever met, not give us unwanted friendors, etc. It's all pretty typical, except that the kid issue is pretty big. We're drawing a generational line to curb it, otherwise we'd be inviting 75 (YES!) children to this wedding... wowza!
Ours was all from the mister's side, mainly because his brother set their date for about months before our wedding a few months after we'd already started our planning. That definitely made emotions, stress levels, jealousy/immaturity and competitive spirits among my MIL and SIL run very high!
My mom totally. Nobody else is causing any kind of frustration for me except for her. Won't even get started.
My wedding drama is 100% from my FFIL, I had no idea my FI's dad was going to be all up in our business. Since the day I started planning he would ask me very specific questions about what I was doing and make "suggestions"
In all the drama my FFIL ended up calling my parents and leaving them a very rude message asking them "why arn't you paying for the wedding??!!" which REALLY upset me. He offered to give us a "gift" of $1000 that we could use towards the wedding, but then ended up saying he wouldn't give us the "gift" if we didn't serve BBQ. Arrgg! In the ended we decided to take NO money from his parents and be very illusive when talking about the wedding plans.
Already had my wedding but I voted Hers. His family are saints compared to mine, LOL. I've got all the crazies on my side :)
Drama is coming from all angles, but a lot less than I expected. It comes from my mom who promises $X, and then gets upset with me for something NWR and threatens to withhold (you just can't plan a wedding kissing someone's ass for too long, you know?), and from his parents, who didn't give us a list of their friends to invite and then were shocked when we didn't invite them (and by "invite," I mean put on the guest list and send an STD to). ;) We're also getting drama from his father specifically for having such an over-the-top affair (which it's not, but it's certainly more elaborate than the family-only 25-person wedding they had in her parents' yard 35-years ago!).
I voted for his. I love his parents - trust me. But there was recently HUGE drama over FMIL's sister's boyfriend being invited. We said that it was NO. She flipped RIGHT out on him and tried to get him to tell me what I needed to do. I'm generally nice, but NO ONE tells me what to do, especially for my wedding. It ended well, with him telling his parents that they were out, and I was in. They'll always be his parents, but what we say - especially in this - goes without question.
She finally stopped her ranting about it because it turns out that her sister asked if she could bring him, and she answered for us and said yes. They bought tickets, planned hotel rooms and she finally checked with us just in case and found out it was no. So, for her to go back and say she misspoke was going to be hard, which is why she freaked out.
Thankfully, our roles have all been clearly cut for everyone and things should run smoothly for at least a little bit. Other than that tiny little misfortune, both sides are generally staying quiet about it. We're paying for most of it, so it's kind of our shots anyway.
Will be from my family. Not even my immediate family. Oh no. It will ALL come from my aunt and my grandmother, who will try to run EVERYTHING. No dice, since they live 5.5 and 8 hours away from me. But still, they will try to make known their opinion on everything, including the gust list. I guarentee my grandmother will try to score invites for some of her friends that I've never even met!
I'm sure it's so easy to blame the other side, but my family is really accepting/easy going and his is NUTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can honestly say that 100% of the drama came from my husband's side, namely my MIL. My mom and family were easy-going and laid back about everything. His mom, while very happy for us, was kind of high maintenance and passive-aggressive. Most of my stress came from dealing with her expectations for the wedding.
Both of them are crazy!
It depends on what part of the wedding you are talking about:
Guestlist: his side is freaking out
Monies: both sides
Getting married on the beach: my side
Having full bar: mine doesn't want it; his needs it
Destination wedding: my family freaks out...ugh
not wearing a veil: FMIL
Fortunately, there wasn't that much drama or craziness, but it definitely came from both sides (the mothers of course) and a couple times they ganged up on us.
Both moms really didn't originally like the dea for centerpieces, and when we were all together they decided to make that a topic of conversation that ended in me starting to well up with tears. They also both got on me about not wearing a veil saying how I "wouldn't look iike a bride," or "it finishes it all off." Separately: mine was more focused on the cost (even though it was pretty much spiit 3 ways - his parents, my family, and us), his was more focused on the decor.
Oh wow. Luckily for us both sides of the family are stark-raving-batt-ass-crazy. Yup, at least we're keeping it even.
V's mom is crazy. She keeps trying to DIY these hideously ugly things for our wedding. She's super tacky. On one hand, she doesn't love the "gay wedding" thing and has trouble accepting it and on the other hand she wants to be QUEEN AND ALMIGHTY RULER of our "gay wedding."
There's a good chance that she'll end up on the Missing Persons list before this is all said and done. Then there's V's sister who acts like I'm not in the room -even when I speak directly to her. Being an invisible person has actually become a really funny game to me. Now, instead of being sweet like I used to be (for 2 years) I make the wench as uncomfortable as possible.
Don't get me started on my mom.
Dammit. Never mind.
MY MOM is equally as nuts. She is fantastic but very nontraditional. She wants everything her way, has insisted that the Mother of the Bride dress is the most important outfit of the day, seems to be competing with FMIL and has inserted her opinion in every single decision that my fiance and I have made.
I'm terrified for our wedding...which is in like 7 weeks.
Abrasive mothers will collide, I'll likely pitch her sister overboard the yacht that the ceremony is on and her "dj" brother will likely spin all of the DO NOT PLAY songs just to make the two of us insane.
I'm at work but I NEED A DRINK.
100% of the drama comes from his side. My side doesn't have any problems w/ anything, they support any decisions we make.
Their issue as of this moment is the guestlist particularly me having a big family which means most of the guest will come from my side. Well, what can I do if I have a big family and they don't. Too bad!!! Plus we're paying for the entire wedding so I don't see why they think they have any "say" on our wedding.
DEFINITELY his side! FMIL has been very demanding, sometimes to an unreasonable, crazy degree, with wedding stuff so far. I hope that she's not like this for the rest of the planning process! My side of the family (which is actually paying for a big chunk) has been very supportive, laidback, and enthusiastic -- a perfect combination!
I always thought it would be my side, but just within a short time of being engaged (like 2 weeks), FI's parents are angry about so many things, and FI is getting furious with me to the point where he says he wants to break off the whole thing saying I'm being selfish.
My family is being cool about everything. But my future family in law are driving me nuts! They are having a HUGE DRAMA about the house we want to buy. The house is affordable, will be finished next month and it's just perfect for us. But, they are complaining about everything!!!
They want things done their way and it's not fair! =P
His family- just tell us when and where & we'll be there, let us know if you need anything.
Mine- wrong date, inconvenient location, you are doing what?, you better...the list could be longer if my other sister was talking to me again!
Definitely his! They have something negative to say about everything that we decide! Last time I checked this is OUR day, not THEIR day, right?
My mother is creating the drama. Hyper critical of EVERYTHING: invitations, music, favors, etc. Her latest crusade is against my dress, which is very difficult to wear a bra with. But instead of helping with the bra issue, she keeps intimating that I should have picked a different dress. Ugh...
Oh man, we're getting equal parts of crazy. Mr.Octo's brother doesn't speak to FMIL, FFIL is disappointed that we're not doing the big Long Island wedding, and my mom is trying to be the cool one while encouraging us to push it back. Oh and half of her brothers and sisters aren't speaking to each other. Our wedding will either be an intervention or a celebration...I'm hoping for the latter.
His 100%, namely his momma. Which is surprising because I thought I would have some on my end but there hasn't been any. Come to think of it, as little as we have been telling FMIL, she's never said anything positive about any of it.
The stories are endless...
both sides are crazy in my instance. but its funny because my side is wedding related drama, his side is just normal every day drama.. LOL i dont know which is worse!
Oh my Gosh definatately his family! Not even his whole family just FMIL! She is vacationing in the Bahamas right now with FI's grandmother and she called us today to tell us that FI's grandmother wrote the date wrong and that she booked a cruise for the weekend of our wedding and asked us to change the date?! REALLY 3 MONTHS BEFORE OUR WEDDING?! I'm not going to say anymore because I have already moved on from the issue this morning, but I will NOT be changing my date!
His side is fantastic! Im embarassed of how my family is right now! My mother doesnt want to even talk about the wedding or any detail of it because she doesnt believe in marriage from being married 3 times and divorced. My sister dropped out of my wedding yesterday and my brother attacks everything I do and puts me down! Im just trying to be happy about my big day and not let any negative vibes be in the way!
I've been relatively lucky, not too much drama. Actually, it is really just stuff that stresses me, and no one else. It is all from his side, though.
The big one: His mom is a crazy lady (like, actually diagnosable) and has HIGHLIGHTER YELLOW HAIR, with four inches of light gray at the roots! She thought she could grow her gray out better if she bleached. It is a new development, but I had already planned on buying her outfit, so she wouldn't wear something crazy, now I'm going to pay for new hair as well.
It's all on my side.
My dad just got engaged and won't help with our wedding now. He's planning on getting married a couple of months before us.
My mom keeps suggesting that we reuse things from her recent (third) wedding. She wants to invite all of her new husband's family members, but she doesn't want to help pay for anything. She wants us to serve nothing but cake and punch, even though we have hundreds of relatives who will be coming from out of state. She also wants to make our cake. She has no experience baking whatsoever and, in my experience, burns about half of anything she tries to cook.
My sister (who will be my MOH) has refused to talk to my mom for several months now.
My fiancé's family has been nothing but supportive.
All our drama is BMs/GMs... The Matron of Honor hasn't bought/found a dress (see my wedding date?), the Best Man still doesn't have leave from the Army, and BM3 not only had me buy her dress (because she wasn't talking to my mom/her MIL) but she wouldn't tell me her size either. True, we had to buy his whole family's tickets out there, but that wasn't drama-producing.
Our families don't produce drama llamas. They just marry into the family, and are eventually mellowed out.
@tammyt112: Yeah, I share your pain, my FI's family is fantastic. My family is negativity itself... Guess who I've been hanging out with more lately! I find escapism and selectively talking to people keep the sanity levels up.
I know this is an old post but I'm with @cyneswith:. Our families have been so amazing, it's our wedding party (both the BMs and the GMs) that are totally causing draaaaaamaaaa. Gah, who woulda thought?!
It has unfortunately come to the point where the wedding was postponed. I just wrote a post asking for advice about it too.
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Before Mr. FP and I got engaged, I always assumed drama would come mostly from my mother, who is a control freak. Now that the wedding is coming up, I looked back and realized that the wedding drama came almost exclusively from HIS side of the family, especially his mother. I've been lucky enough to have a set of parents who were very supportive of my decisions and didn't try to take over the wedding.
However, since the first month of planning last year, his family has needed a say in everything. If we made decisions without them, I would hear about the negative comments his mother made from my FSIL. We are having a destination wedding due to cost and our taste, and I still haven't heard the end of it from his mother. She's frustrated with the planning process (that she doesn't have anything really to do with) of a long distance wedding, and has even told my FSIL (who is about 10 years older than me) that she'll pay for her wedding if she has in MD where we live because it's "so much easier."
There have been lots of little things along the way that they have caused a fuss over, but what really got me thinking about which family was causing drama was a recent issue. Last week, we had been requested by my FILs to invite a former stepdaughter of my FI's uncle. This uncle is not coming to the wedding, nor is his ex-wife. My FI has met this woman once, and did not like her. Apparently, she thinks it'd be nice to go to the wedding so she can be in FL to see some old friends. And they tell us this on our RSVP deadline for a wedding that is almost at capacity. We told them that if there was space that we'd invite her, just so they wouldn't start a fight with us so close to the wedding over it. Turns out that we don't have space, so no invite for her.
Wow, this got long fast! The venting powers of Weddingbee! How has family been for the rest of you bees? Any surprises, both pleasant and not-so-pleasant?
Vent away!