Post # 1
Before Mr. FP and I got engaged, I always assumed drama would come mostly from my mother, who is a control freak. Now that the wedding is coming up, I looked back and realized that the wedding drama came almost exclusively from HIS side of the family, especially his mother. I’ve been lucky enough to have a set of parents who were very supportive of my decisions and didn’t try to take over the wedding.
However, since the first month of planning last year, his family has needed a say in everything. If we made decisions without them, I would hear about the negative comments his mother made from my FSIL. We are having a destination wedding due to cost and our taste, and I still haven’t heard the end of it from his mother. She’s frustrated with the planning process (that she doesn’t have anything really to do with) of a long distance wedding, and has even told my FSIL (who is about 10 years older than me) that she’ll pay for her wedding if she has in MD where we live because it’s “so much easier.”
There have been lots of little things along the way that they have caused a fuss over, but what really got me thinking about which family was causing drama was a recent issue. Last week, we had been requested by my FILs to invite a former stepdaughter of my FI’s uncle. This uncle is not coming to the wedding, nor is his ex-wife. My FI has met this woman once, and did not like her. Apparently, she thinks it’d be nice to go to the wedding so she can be in FL to see some old friends. And they tell us this on our RSVP deadline for a wedding that is almost at capacity. We told them that if there was space that we’d invite her, just so they wouldn’t start a fight with us so close to the wedding over it. Turns out that we don’t have space, so no invite for her.
Wow, this got long fast! The venting powers of Weddingbee! How has family been for the rest of you bees? Any surprises, both pleasant and not-so-pleasant?
Post # 3
My dad is causing all the drama. He planned his wedding to be the same day as mine. He knew full well when we were planning to get married, but he took the date anyway. He stole my wedding date! I have a long venting post somewhere in the hive lol. I kept my date & told him to shove it.
I’m cool now, but I never, ever thought it would happen. I was sure his family was the crazy family.
Weddings bring out the worst in a lot of people lol
Post # 4
damm… im the only vote for both sides are just as crazy
Post # 5
@KellyFP: My fmil did a lot of the same things. Except she came right out and said that when his older sister gets married she knows she’ll be paying for it. She did at one point say she’d pay for rehersal dinner but she has been VERY critical of our choices in tuxes, cake, location, guest list. Luckily she is calling FI and he has been handling it & he does it so well. It’s still hard to have someone bash things you love. She hasn’t said anything lately so maybe she’s relaxed but we haven’t had much new planning news yet either.
Post # 6
Mine aren’t that bad, but I voted “his”.
Both of FI’s parents passed away several years ago, but he’s the baby of 6 (HUGE fam) Anyway we’re having the hardest time enforcing..errr… suggesting that his family mmbers not bring their children, not invite every person they’ve ever met, not give us unwanted friendors, etc. It’s all pretty typical, except that the kid issue is pretty big. We’re drawing a generational line to curb it, otherwise we’d be inviting 75 (YES!) children to this wedding… wowza!
Post # 7
- Wedding: August 2009 - St. Thomas of Villanova Church & the F.U.E.L. House
Ours was all from the mister’s side, mainly because his brother set their date for about months before our wedding a few months after we’d already started our planning. That definitely made emotions, stress levels, jealousy/immaturity and competitive spirits among my MIL and SIL run very high!
Post # 8
My mom totally. Nobody else is causing any kind of frustration for me except for her. Won’t even get started.
Post # 9
My wedding drama is 100% from my FFIL, I had no idea my FI’s dad was going to be all up in our business. Since the day I started planning he would ask me very specific questions about what I was doing and make “suggestions”
In all the drama my FFIL ended up calling my parents and leaving them a very rude message asking them “why arn’t you paying for the wedding??!!” which REALLY upset me. He offered to give us a “gift” of $1000 that we could use towards the wedding, but then ended up saying he wouldn’t give us the “gift” if we didn’t serve BBQ. Arrgg! In the ended we decided to take NO money from his parents and be very illusive when talking about the wedding plans.
Post # 10
Already had my wedding but I voted Hers. His family are saints compared to mine, LOL. I’ve got all the crazies on my side 🙂
Post # 11
- Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch
Drama is coming from all angles, but a lot less than I expected. It comes from my mom who promises $X, and then gets upset with me for something NWR and threatens to withhold (you just can’t plan a wedding kissing someone’s ass for too long, you know?), and from his parents, who didn’t give us a list of their friends to invite and then were shocked when we didn’t invite them (and by “invite,” I mean put on the guest list and send an STD to). 😉 We’re also getting drama from his father specifically for having such an over-the-top affair (which it’s not, but it’s certainly more elaborate than the family-only 25-person wedding they had in her parents’ yard 35-years ago!).
Post # 12
I voted for his. I love his parents – trust me. But there was recently HUGE drama over FMIL’s sister’s boyfriend being invited. We said that it was NO. She flipped RIGHT out on him and tried to get him to tell me what I needed to do. I’m generally nice, but NO ONE tells me what to do, especially for my wedding. It ended well, with him telling his parents that they were out, and I was in. They’ll always be his parents, but what we say – especially in this – goes without question.
She finally stopped her ranting about it because it turns out that her sister asked if she could bring him, and she answered for us and said yes. They bought tickets, planned hotel rooms and she finally checked with us just in case and found out it was no. So, for her to go back and say she misspoke was going to be hard, which is why she freaked out.
Thankfully, our roles have all been clearly cut for everyone and things should run smoothly for at least a little bit. Other than that tiny little misfortune, both sides are generally staying quiet about it. We’re paying for most of it, so it’s kind of our shots anyway.
Post # 13
Will be from my family. Not even my immediate family. Oh no. It will ALL come from my aunt and my grandmother, who will try to run EVERYTHING. No dice, since they live 5.5 and 8 hours away from me. But still, they will try to make known their opinion on everything, including the gust list. I guarentee my grandmother will try to score invites for some of her friends that I’ve never even met!
Post # 14
I’m sure it’s so easy to blame the other side, but my family is really accepting/easy going and his is NUTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post # 15
I can honestly say that 100% of the drama came from my husband’s side, namely my MIL. My mom and family were easy-going and laid back about everything. His mom, while very happy for us, was kind of high maintenance and passive-aggressive. Most of my stress came from dealing with her expectations for the wedding.
Post # 16
I think it’s interesting how most users voted for HIS side..