Post # 1
Hi Bees – Need some advice.
I have a friend getting married in the fall. She has her shower scheduled for one weekend in August and her bachlorette scheduled for another.
DH have good friends who live out of own who we rarely get to see that asked us to go on a weekend trip with them this summer. The catch: the only two weekends they are available are those two weekend in August.
I REALLY want to go on this trip, so I’m asking for advice. If you had to, would you skip the shower, bachlorette, or neither? (or if you were a bride, would you rather a friend skip the bachlorette or shower)?
Full disclosure: I actually lothe showers and bachlorettes and my friend knows this. I didn’t have either one for my wedding. If I could, I’d skip both, but I’m trying to suck it up and be a good friend by attending at least one of her parties….
Post # 3
If I had a friend ask me this I would want them to skip the shower. I don’t like showers much to begin with so it wouldn’t be that important to me. On top of that, showers are generally much larger than the bachelorette and you spend a lot of time schmoozing with relatives so its not like you get to spend a ton of time with any one guest anyway. Bachelorettes are more about your closes group of girlfriends so I would be more upset for someone to miss out on that.
Post # 4
I’d personally more enjoy the shower but it depends. If they’re worried not enough people will come to the bachelortte I’d go to that. Typcially more family goes to the shower so they’ll likely be enough people attending that.
Post # 5
I’d want you to skip the shower if I were the bride!
Post # 6
I think it depends on her priorities, and who she’s invited to each.
I agree with everything the pp’s said. I personally like showers more, but the bachelorette is more close friends just having fun so it’s a toss up.
Post # 7
I’d say skip whichever you think will be a bigger party, because your absence will be less noticeable. 15 people instead of 16 is less of a difference than 4 people instead of 5 people!
Post # 9
I think they are equivalent, but I would go to whatever one you think would be most fun or less painful, as it is.
Post # 10
I think it’s reasonable that you would attend one event but not the other. I would choose to skip the shower as the bachelorette tends to be more exclusive and you get to spend more time with the bride. A shower is lovely, too, but has more of a general atmosphere with so many other guests. I would skip the shower but be sure to at least send a gift. That’s good of you to go to at least one event even though neither is really your thing. Have a good time on your trip!
Post # 11
If you don’t like either, I would think that the shower would be more stomachable, right? So I’d say go to that.
Post # 12
It would depend who asked for me 🙂 Some friends are great to go out with, and really make a night out fun, so I’d rather they come to the bachelorette party. You sound like you might enjoy the shower more than the stagette, so I’d want you to come to that!
Post # 13
I would ask the bride. Tell her you are very sorry but can only attend one and see if she has a preference on which one she would like to see you at. Any given bride might think either the shower or bachlorette is more important, so I think you should ask this bride her opinion.
I also think it’s ok if you skip an event. I say share your time with all your friends. Just my opinion.
Post # 14
Shower, definitely. All the older ladies will go to that anyway. If it were me, I’d definitely want you at my bachelorette over the shower!