Post # 1
Do I mail one to the pastor and her husband? If so, would it be Pastor Jane and Mr. John Doe?
Do I mail one to the photographer, or just give one to her the day of? I’m pretty sure she needs one for pictures, but I’m not sure about mailing it to her. I’m assuming I shouldn’t invite her whole family, because then she’d be a guest taking pictures, rather than a vendor…
Post # 3
Not sure exactly what is right, but here is what I am doing…
Invitation for the officiant and his wife – mailed. I believe that the official title is Reverend rather than pastor – at least that’s the title the pastors we have interviewed have provided on their cards and in their emails.
Invitation for the photographer – mailed. And I am including his wife, as she is the second photographer, but would not include her if she wasn’t (as you are right – he is not a guest). To avoid any potential confusion, I am going to include a hand-written note telling them how much we are looking forward to their help in documenting our special day.
I am also sending an invitation to the bandleader (but not individually to the band members) – including a note, same as the photographer.
Post # 4
The weddings mags advice columsn usually say it’s not necessary to invite your vendors to the wedding, since you are paying for them to provide a service. It’s customary to invite the pastor to say, and I think it’s generous to include the spouse, but not required.
But…since it’s usually a long day, people normally arrange for "vendor meals" w/ the caterer so that key vendors get to eat and recharge to make sure they stay fresh for your event (this does not include the wait staff).
Talk to your vendors ahead of time to let them know you’ll be providing a meal and make sure you ask them how many people will be working them them. For example, most photogs bring an assistant, the DJ will have a technical person or two, etc.
I, too, wanted a shot of my invitation for the final album. It was part of my final checklist to give an invitation to my planner to give to the photographer on the day of the wedding, along with my shot list, to ensure that he got a nice picture of it.